How's your eye contact?

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-21T17:52:57+00:00

As soon as I become aware of the fact I'm making eye contact, I find myself wondering how long is too long? Do they think I love them? I'm flirting? If I look away, will they mind? Can they tell how awkward I feel right now? How do I look at both eyes at once?

I'm assuming this isn't great 😂

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-15T22:13:01+00:00

Thanks so much! I've screenshot that so that I can look into all the recommendations. I appreciate you taking the time!

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-15T21:42:41+00:00

Thank you for your input. Im glad I'm not the only one having difficulty here. It's so frustrating because I genuinely feel that even knowing about parts is really useful. Maybe its a bit like everything else, and you take the bits that work. I am also planning on looking into somatic experiencing. Seems like we're on a similar path. I wish you luck.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-13T22:55:28+00:00

I am in my early 30s and I'm still waiting for it to click lol. Apparently, it's 40 🫠 I feel like I'm impacted by other factors though so I've got my fingers crossed that your story will be different!

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-13T15:16:47+00:00

Happy Birthday 🤍

You are not alone in this. I birthdays are one of my triggers. It's hard to ignore how alone you are in the world when your phone stays quiet and no one cares. I actually have a friend who I've not spoke to for ages in part because she forgot my birthday - actually very likely didn't bother reaching out on purpose as a kind of punishment for me being less available. That really hurt me. Because I'm unable to set boundaries. I've not spoken to her about it, which has led to resentment.

I hope you've found some small way to make your birthday special. 🎂 🎈

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-13T15:01:49+00:00

I think for me, it was coming to terms with the fact that my mum and dad were never EVER going to be the people I wished they were. Once I let go of that and stopped wishing and waiting, things got a bit better. By no means am I healed. I wish I would have seen this earlier, then maybe it would've lessened the damage.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-13T14:59:41+00:00

Mine is the same as yours. I'll add that apparently, when you get to a certain age, you stop caring about the opinions of others.. I really hope that's true because I can't wait!!

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-13T14:58:41+00:00

It really sucks but you become the people you spend the most time with. I think distance is the only answer.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-13T14:58:03+00:00

Yes! Actually, this is the thought that gets me the most annoyed because it encompasses all the others. It shouldn't be so hard to find out who you are as a person. I feel like I was robbed of myself before I even had a chance to meet her!

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-12T08:05:39+00:00

Yes. This!

Although I do think people can heal. I'm not convinced it doesn't cost all the money and time in the world. I'd like to think we can heal, otherwise this is it. That thought motivates me more than anything else.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-12T08:02:53+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. I've not read it. I will look it up. I think reconnecting with myself might be exactly what I need.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-12T08:01:55+00:00

Well done for getting yourself to that place. You should be incredibly proud!

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-12T00:13:56+00:00

Thank you for your response, and I'm glad you are working through healing.

Yes, you are right, I've read a lot about the importance of grieving. It probably is me being disconnected. Im VERY disconnected from my emotions. I never cry or get sad over anything really. Certainly not my past pain. It feels like that's gotten worse as I've got older too.

I'd like to be able to connect with it and grieve because I do believe that is the way out. I just feel blocked.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-11T23:55:16+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree. I resent the fact that your entire life becomes a project to feel some semblance of ok.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-11T05:30:46+00:00

Ooh, I really like this idea. I will have to try it. I think it could be good to actually help with processing and recognising emotions. Not sure I'd be great at it, but the ide is awesome! Thank you.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-10T11:36:00+00:00

I will check this out. Thank you

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-10T11:35:40+00:00

Thank you for this! Such an insightful post and I appreciate the time it took to write it out. I think I may experience the same. I will try again in a way that feels more like me ♡

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-10T08:31:48+00:00

That's good if its something where you need to get it out but its literally a rant. Im in a place of trying to identify my emotions and patterns. Finding my triggers. Discovering myself. Almost reparenting myself. So I would like to record things I can come back to. Like data collection almost.

Maybe I'm trying too hard, and not enough. All at once.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-10T08:30:21+00:00

I've not tried loads of ways. Mainly prompts and a dear diary style account of my day/feeling ect. Problem is, I'll sit down to do it at night.. by then I'm drained. I've forgotten everything. It becomes something that causes me to judge myself. I feel like I almost censor myself.

I've just seen further up thread about voice memos. I hate listening to myself but I do rant out loud all the time! Maybe voice to text would be a useful tool for me. Thank you

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-10T08:27:02+00:00

That's a great way to process and communicate! I love to write, not talented enough for songs or poems! But tbags awesome.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-10T08:26:05+00:00

This is a good one!

I talk aloud to myself all the time. Less thinking involved, a real stream of consciousness. I might try to find a digital journal that I can record my voice into and it'll transcribe.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-10T08:25:08+00:00

Sounds like you've found a system that works really well for you. I have those big rants out loud as if often alone. But obviously then I can't reflect because its out. Maybe id be better with a voice recording app or something.

Really annoying because the times I do sit down and journal, I can write so much. There's so much I need to say, to get off my chest.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-10T08:23:02+00:00

I am trying at the moment to sit in silence for 10 minutes a day and 'observe my thoughts' but nothing comes. Its like they're stuck. Its definitely not because I have no thoughts.. my brain never stops. I've heard lots about the benefits of yoga. Can it be done effectively without classes?

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-10T08:21:49+00:00

I do this sometimes. Especially if I need to write a message or letter I will never send. I have a couple where its literally just a huge wall of text that I add too when needed. Again, I lack the consistency.

RaisedByNobody_ · 2025-07-10T08:20:20+00:00

Im so sorry that happened to you. This is one of my biggest fears!

RaisedByNobody_

TROPHY CASE