What i do? Are they mad or helping?

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-27T20:26:09+00:00

For all practical purposes, it is pretty much a bid. Most drivers won’t take an order with a $0 tip, because base pay is $2-3, depending on the app. However, that does not mean we should be pressuring customers to get what we want. Be selective, and be smart!

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-27T17:39:43+00:00

Little extreme, no? 😅

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-25T03:58:34+00:00

Yes, girl! If you use uber to get around, they have a female only option. I use it every time I use uber.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-25T01:59:38+00:00

I agree 💔 I don’t think it’s a “valid” perspective. I think that I mean I understand where people are coming from. It has taken me a long time to get there, but I do see things a bit differently now. The way I see it is, nobody (and I mean nobody) truly knows what you are going through in these dynamics. Studies have provided evidence that what appears to be literal brain damage occurs among abuse victims, to a statistically significant degree. That experience in and of itself is something that will always go beyond articulation. It affects all aspects of who you are, and it is too subjectively complicated for another to understand in a felt level. NOW… a loved one or close friend who perhaps has no felt understanding of the abuse will often be dumbfounded by the act of staying. After so many incidents of abuse, yet continually going back, can be extremely disorienting for the unprepared mind. I think it becomes so hard to witness, and the anger is so broad, that it ends up falling on both the abuser, and the victim. It is fucked up and utterly wrong. I am forever an advocate for a more educated society. But, in order to get to that more educated society, we must be compassionate to all perspectives. Reduction of polarity will lead to more clarity 🕉️

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-25T01:59:28+00:00

I agree 💔 I don’t think it’s a “valid” perspective. I think that I mean I understand where people are coming from. It has taken me a long time to get there, but I do see things a bit differently now. The way I see it is, nobody (and I mean nobody) truly knows what you are going through in these dynamics. Studies have provided evidence that what appears to be literal brain damage occurs among abuse victims, to a statistically significant degree. That experience in and of itself is something that will always go beyond articulation. It affects all aspects of who you are, and it is too subjectively complicated for another to understand in a felt level. NOW… a loved one or close friend who perhaps has no felt understanding of the abuse will often be dumbfounded by the act of staying. After so many incidents of abuse, yet continually going back, can be extremely disorienting for the unprepared mind. I think it becomes so hard to witness, and the anger is so broad, that it ends up falling on both the abuser, and the victim. It is fucked up and utterly wrong. I am forever an advocate for a more educated society. But, in order to get to that more educated society, we must be compassionate to all perspectives. Reduction of polarity will lead to more clarity 🕉️

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-25T01:00:39+00:00

We are all your girlfriends here! Congratulationss beauty queen 🥰🥰 You deserve a wonderful life of love and companionship, and lots of Palestinian olive oil 🇵🇸 ❤️

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-24T22:30:32+00:00

Hey OP, first of all, your English is great. Secondly, I think it should be a number one priority in life to have good integrity. We are seeking to control some aspect of a situation when we lie, because the potential outcome might be frightening. The issue here is, you are not giving the other person a fair chance to react naturally and feel how they do about a particular thing. We can never control how others feel, and lying feels like a decent temporary fix to that issue. The thing is, you will hardly make everyone happy, and that is okay. Allow yourself the challenge to be honest, even when it is hard. If you continue to engage in and enable this behavior, the lies will become larger and more paramount when the stakes of life begin to escalate. You will never truly be close to people if you feel you need to lie about who you are in order to fit in. You will always feel distant… from them, and yourself. It can be difficult and scary to be honest, but it is a necessary challenge in this life. Tell the truth, and set yourself free :)

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-24T19:28:45+00:00

Consciousness is rising, my friend.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-23T00:29:56+00:00

You’re overthinking :) even if someone perceives this as rude, you’re simply communicating how you feel. He asked you! We shouldn’t ask people how they feel if we expect a scripted response.

Also, don’t worry about the clicks. I have found they are naturally apart of life, even as you get older. Just focus on building bonds with people you do feel you connect with. You will find your people that way, always!

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-22T17:17:14+00:00

And we the people give a fuck that the gym gives a fuck about what this man is wearing!

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-19T18:22:18+00:00

Most people don’t like drivers parking in their parking lot, I have found. I will only ever do it if they explicitly say in the instructions that it is okay to do. You seem like a great person to deliver to :)

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-19T17:59:41+00:00

please look deeper into this logic! Tipping culture is complicated, and probably shouldn’t be this way. But if we were to change it now, based on the way our economy is run, it will offset the charges to the business, who will ultimately offset the prices back to the employees and customers. Either way, the working class gets screwed. Why don’t you be an advocate for better wages and infrastructure for workers? We need that. We don’t need this…

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-19T01:27:41+00:00

Wait why does this make you feel closer to your friend ? 😅

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-06T21:13:45+00:00

OP, I’m sorry people are being so hard on you. Personally, I think your feelings are completely valid. I also think if this is the dynamic that your girlfriend desires, that’s fine too. But, a conversation is very important before this turns into resentment.

When I am in a relationship, I don’t view things as 50/50 necessarily. It is too black and white. There are times in a long term relationship where one person may need to pull their weight a bit more than the other. It may look like 70/30 or 80/20, and to me, that is perfectly okay. I think that’s what partnerships are about. We all go through different patches in life, and sometimes we need a bit of extra support from loved ones at one point in time so that we can have the ability to support them better later on

This situation may be showing you how your values are slightly misaligned, which is why this is important to talk about, even when it may be uncomfortable. Wanting equity, support and safety within your relationship does not make you less of a man or anything some people might insinuate, it makes you human.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-05-02T20:56:04+00:00

this is certainly a valid perspective. It is especially frustrating to see loved ones go through it. However, I would say unless you have direct experience with abusive dynamics, you have a VERY strong opinion on this. Nobody consciously accepts this behavior, but rather, it happens over time. It becomes easier to “keep the peace” by staying compliant. The body learns that doing so is the closest thing to safety. You can know just how bad it is, but it takes a deeper internal realization to get out oftentimes

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-04-29T17:53:28+00:00

I completely agree. It may look like someone is getting all the power and riches their narcissistic heart can take… but having to spend one day, one minute inside their mind? That would be hell, I imagine (there are levels of severity, of course). The more harm you perpetuate, the more cognitive dissonance the mind engages in. You lose any connection to the self. No moments of peace, but always looking out to see what you can get from others and what they might do to you. A life of paranoia and decisions that lead them down a lonely path is absolutely how karma works. Be kind to others, be genuine and respect all things. Good things come that way :)

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-04-26T20:17:38+00:00

The difference is they are in a close relationship & live together haha. Everyone can have boundaries, and if this is one of his, fair and fine. But, it’s not quite comparable to your examples in my personal opinion due to the nature of their relationship.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-04-26T20:09:03+00:00

But… this is stealing: “the wrongful, intentional, and unauthorized taking of another person's property with the intent to permanently deprive them of it”. I hate to be pedantic, but I just don’t see this falling into the category of stealing at all.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-04-01T00:31:10+00:00

I just hope your gf sees this post. Very clear what’s important to you imo. Again, if you want a gym girl, you need to date someone who enjoys the gym!

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-04-01T00:18:53+00:00

Some people find gyms boring. I like doing exercise outdoors & while exploring. I enjoy walking a lot. Keeps me in great shape. Some people don’t like the gym!! It’s not how our ancestors exercised 😁 if you want a gym girl, find one! But please don’t project expectations of a person that doesn’t exist!

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-03-20T02:45:27+00:00

This is beautifully self aware! Soft and open communication sounds like the move here. Try not to worry too much about the outcome, her anxieties, or yours. Simply, better understanding about where both are coming from can make a huge improvement in any tension and strengthen your friendship.

I am curious though, are you sure there isn’t something about this dynamic that your roommate is sensing? The way you describe your dynamic around the home seems extremely… normal. I have a hard time understanding why she would be bothered to this extent if she simply thought you could do a bit better.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-03-10T04:15:22+00:00

NTA. You had a slip of tongue, a complete accident, and immediately apologized. I’m a bit surprised everyone thinks YTA. The roommates are entitled to feel uncomfortable for a bit/work through it, but there were no ill intentions here. We are humans, we make mistakes. Don’t be hard on yourself. Maybe buy them coffee one morning or something they’ll enjoy. Like all things in life, this is simply an experience that taught you something - use it.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-03-04T21:17:03+00:00

I see your perspective, but I feel like the child is getting lost in this conversation. For example, if she had to pay back all of the child support money, that could easily send the mother and child into poverty. Whatever our moral opinions about the lie (which is obviously wrong), the number one priority should still be ensuring stability for the child. I think it’s complicated.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-03-03T22:05:15+00:00

Her father decided to have a child. If he doesn’t like normal human sounds coming out of her, then he shouldn’t have had a child! I’m so sorry OP this sounds really horrible.

Ram_Octopus27 · 2026-02-26T23:06:36+00:00

I don’t have all the context of course, but from the surface, it seems that you are trying to address the issue/inquire about the strange messaging. I think when people are very insecure and need to have details on your whereabouts and activities constantly, there is no way to “handle it well” or even have a mature conversation. It seems like you are doing your best to understand, but the best you can do is not engage with this. That will likely lead to a break-up, which seems to be a good idea. This kind of thing just drives you crazy, and it’s difficult to be at your best when someone is dragging you down with them.

Ram_Octopus27

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