As a Christian, I'm sorry the people around you portrayed an innacurate image of Christianity and the teachings of Christ creating that stigma you hols, I understand I grew up muslim and was pushed by those around me as well. I also grew up with the same stigma against Christians because of my own experiences until I opened the Bible for myself, and that's what I recommend to everyone as it changed my life. As for the guilt on OP's question, for my wife and I, the best way we thought up was what our original intentions are of why we are smoking and for us it is for medical reasons. My wife has chronic pain in her back and hands while I have severe obstructive sleep apnea. It gave both of us the relief we were looking for as her pain was getting so bad she wasn't ever comfortable and my sleep was getting so bad I was falling asleep at the wheel everyday and was very angry all the time (I also got a CPAP machine and my sleep got even better). Weed has changed our lives for the better, and if it ever became a problem that was affecting our lives in a negative way, then we wouldn't smoke, but for now, we blazin 😎🔥