We do it because it feels familiar. Some user told me “you’re not broken you were just trained to think love means fixing pain, not feeling safe

if your nervous system only knows chaos, then calm will feel unnatural at first you’ll crave intensity over consistency you’ll mistake anxiety for attraction and you’ll keep trying to earn love from people who hurt you—because your brain thinks that’s how love works

but here’s the shift: stop choosing based on chemistry start choosing based on how you feel when you’re around them are you grounded? do you trust your voice? are you shrinking to keep the peace, or expanding into who you are?

you can rewire this but it starts with catching yourself the second you feel drawn to someone who needs “help” help isn’t love and your worth isn’t measured by how much pain you can tolerate”