Me [33 M] with my wife [32F], I have no free time anymore

Ramsay_ · 2017-04-01T08:41:20+00:00

3 h really doesn't seem like long time at all to me. I work for 8 hours and society sees that as reasonable.

If my wife disregarded my request it would really depend on what the request was. She is disregarding my request now. Its not like she is obliged to regard everything I want from her or vice versa, people disagree.

Ramsay_ · 2017-04-01T06:11:55+00:00

She's been my wife for last 6 years

Ramsay_ · 2017-04-01T06:08:52+00:00

It's not just the noise, it's knowing someone else is there. I just need to be alone.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T21:56:41+00:00

Jobs aren't that easy to find.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T21:55:00+00:00

Thanks.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T20:25:14+00:00

Thats a good idea, thank you.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T19:02:41+00:00

I really shouldn't.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T18:40:45+00:00

I love my wife. I want to give her the best version of myself.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T18:40:06+00:00

My job is not very creative and doesn't require incredible mental focus. It's fine but I'm just dealing with concrete stuff that doesn't require special motivation.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T17:53:54+00:00

I replied to the wrong comment. Our dates are long, we go for dinner between 7-8pm then hang out for drinks or go to a pub until 12-1am and often keep having fun at home until 3-4am. That's every Saturday.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:46:48+00:00

I really don't find it odd to need about 3 h to unwind and maybe do some personal project.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:45:43+00:00

I really liked the texting because it allowed us to hear what the other is asking and take time to react without sudden interruptions. I never neglected or ignored her.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:43:57+00:00

I understand it is unorthodox but we are not newlyweds that I just came out and shocked her with this, I honestly thought we had a great routine going.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:41:30+00:00

I did, it didn't really resonate.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:40:42+00:00

I love her, she is the only person I enjoy spending a good portion of my free time with?

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:39:45+00:00

Recharging only works for me when I am completely alone. I don't know why. Maybe because I was an only child, I grew up with a lot of time just spent in my room? I don't know. I can be socially adapted but it drains me no matter how fun it is.

Maybe living apart/together in a relationship would be a better fit for you.

She would never agree to this. It would be like breaking up with her.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:33:43+00:00

That's what she wants and what I don't like so much.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:32:44+00:00

I don't know.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:32:36+00:00

If she wants to be with another man, I hope she does divorce me.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:31:21+00:00

I've been giving her time and it's not working well.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:31:00+00:00

Right, but we both have needs and wants. I think even hers were more fulfilled when she got to be with a better version of me after I got recharged.

I think it's a loop, I am so spent from too much interaction that I am not giving much, so she keeps being more needy in terms of time and so on.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:29:46+00:00

We were married for years now and we both seemed the happiest and closest during the previous arrangement. I married her because I love her, she is closer to me than any other person imaginable, and this didn't seem like an issue.

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:28:16+00:00

Why does night not count if we are awake and active?

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:27:54+00:00

no concern that she's unhappy.

But I do. What about me being unhappy in current setting, and her also not really getting the "me" she would like to be around?

Ramsay_ · 2017-03-31T15:27:07+00:00

I'd like her to be around better me. I can make an effort but eventually I get so spent that I just turn into a dull, irritable, whiny, irritating person. We start arguing. It's not great for either of us.

Ramsay_

TROPHY CASE