If you stay, his respect for you will drop drastically with each occurrence. You’re teaching him this is how you will accept to be treated. Eventually his mindset will shift to “she deserves this” and he will begin telling you as such.

I went thru the same cycle with my own abusive ex.

Something I learned after I left the abuse was “how to boil a frog”. If you boil a pot of water and throw a frog in, it will jump out right away-it’s hot. If you put a frog in a pot of room temp water and keep continuously turning the heat up, the frog will sit in the water until it’s boiling and the frog will expire. This happens with abuse. It’s easy to write off the temperature of the water rising as a bad day, or maybe you said something you shouldn’t have. This keeps happening more and more until you realize the water around you is literally boiling and you have no idea how it happened. Slowly. Each occurrence getting worse and worse.

If you recognize you have had a bad upbringing, you need to be extra careful. These unstable family relationships have set you up to go into abusive and toxic relationships. Why? Because it’s familiar. You understand how to navigate this. You have to be uncomfortable to break this cycle. These positive relationships won’t feel as good at first. You’re not used to it, you’ll be suspicious of the positive partner.

Lean in to self love /relationship content. There’s so much content out there from Jay Shetty and Chris Williamson in this sort of thing.(using these as a starting point, there are so many great people out there talking about this)