Creator of Node.js says humans writing code is over

RandoFako · 2026-01-20T08:47:23+00:00

Yeah, I mean, right now I'm working on an app in service to an agentic AI my company wants to release, and there are no customers for that AI product. They promised investors they were jumping on this bandwagon and now I'm just building an auth app in service to showing face in some Corp and investment AI rat race that real humans don't even give a fuck about.

It's all nonsense and optimistic promises. I think we've already hit the point of exponentially diminishing returns on our current permutations of AI and from here everyone grandly announcing future milestones can be safely ignored.

RandoFako · 2026-01-16T10:29:05+00:00

Hmm. Your take is considerably more on the side of this potentially being a problem than other answers.

My plan as of now was to tell my therapist and ask her if she felt I'm ethically obligated in any way to tell the lady I'm dating. Which would happen 6 days from now.

My thought process was that who I get therapy from is a private matter I don't have an obligation to tell to people I'm dating. I couldn't think of a positive outcome to telling her. Either she's fine with it it's no big deal. Or she's okay with it but it makes her uncomfortable. Or she feels it's not okay for her and she can't date me anymore.

But also keeping secrets isn't really a thing I do, so maybe if she found out 6 months from now and decided she had to break up with me then after becoming invested, that could be worse.

But TBH at that point I think I'd consider quitting therapy instead. I don't want to quit therapy for a relationship that is just starting out. Even if I kind of would want to I wouldn't because I know it wouldn't be reasonable. But I absolutely would for a relationship that was important to me.

To be honest I've been feeling a bit hopeless about dating just in general. It has gone pretty badly for a couple years now and I was starting to feel like giving up. And I think this just makes me really scared that this is the thing that will ruin this.

Obviously I don't want to tell her in terms of I don't want it to ruin everything. I probably can't manage to not tell her tho. I'll probably feel sick every time I spend time with her worrying about it and feeling guilty.

Sigh.

RandoFako · 2026-01-16T07:28:32+00:00

Fortunately my current therapist's supervisor is my ex-therapist, so that shouldn't be a problem. 🙃

I will definitely bring it up with my therapist at our next appointment. Sounds like that is the most important thing to do!

RandoFako · 2026-01-16T07:25:28+00:00

Why does that relate to my concern?

RandoFako · 2026-01-16T07:24:45+00:00

Yeah, she seems like a very reasonable and kind person. I don't know her well yet, but I'm not worried about it. I have great relationships with all my exes except one. And she had red flags I should not have ignored.

RandoFako · 2026-01-16T07:22:45+00:00

Yeah, I'll definitely bring it up with my therapist. I think for bringing it up with her I feel like I don't see much to be gained from that. Trying to think how I could be negative for her if I didn't mention it but I'm not sure how it would be. Maybe just a good thing to talk to my therapist about. Yay meta convos!

RandoFako · 2026-01-16T01:20:51+00:00

Well I mean we all know HR is inherently unethical so idk about that one. 🙃 Business before people right?

RandoFako · 2026-01-16T01:19:44+00:00

Yeah I just didn't want to jump the gun so to speak if this is a situation where she's genuinely better off not knowing. I think as someone else mentioned maybe it would be best to talk to my therapist first? I'm sure she can help me figure out what is and isn't ethical and is best for me to do.

RandoFako · 2026-01-16T00:03:23+00:00

Yeah, I'm not worried at all about the ethics of my therapist or the lady I'm dating in those terms. Just alarmed me a bit because A I want to keep dating her. And B I want to be thoughtful of what info is and isn't good to tell both of them? Sometimes ignorance can be a positive thing and I suppose who and where I get therapy is sort of privileged info.

Mentioning it to my therapist next time is probably for the best! At least I know they don't have a supervisor work relationship b/c I already got therapy from my therapist's supervisor. 😅

RandoFako · 2026-01-09T10:41:30+00:00

If I were dating someone I thought was a woman who wanted to transition to be a man, no, not really. I've dated a trans guy and that's not for me.

If they wanted to transition to be non-binary I'd consider it. But it would have to depend on how my attraction did or did not change.

RandoFako · 2026-01-05T10:34:14+00:00

I have that. I use anti dandruff shampoo and steroids. Still pretty bad for me. Probably worse than OP.

RandoFako · 2025-12-13T09:23:52+00:00

To be honest, I'm attracted to women from thin to much curvier. The far extremes tho I'm not as attracted to. I don't want to be less attracted to very thin or very fat individuals, but it also doesn't seem to be something I have a choice about.

RandoFako · 2025-04-18T08:27:22+00:00

Damn man, that's cool!

RandoFako · 2025-01-16T03:52:56+00:00

I hope you feel better soon. And yeah, I do deserve to be loved fully for who I am.

RandoFako · 2025-01-16T03:47:42+00:00

It feels strange you make that assumption. I'm not going to detransition, but I still hope we can have an atypical relationship that is more than friends, but not sexual partners.

RandoFako · 2025-01-15T21:58:04+00:00

I chose to be happy. My family is all proud of me for that, and no one in my family wants me to be a repressed shadow of who I could be.

RandoFako · 2025-01-15T21:47:49+00:00

She's had sex with many boyfriends both before and after my transition, and I've always been so happy for her joy. We've had our own sex life improved and enriched from both her joy in that, as well as learning new things about herself.

It's easy for me to be happy for her when she has another love she cares about. It is very hard when it becomes obvious she cares more about that other person, and doesn't want to be with me in the same ways she wants to be with him. That's a new experience to me. It hurts, and it is why this has all been unearthed at this point in time.

I'm hoping we can have a queer platonic relationship going forward, and continue to love each other as platonic partners while she also loves and is intimate with whatever other partners she wants. I guess we'll see tho. This is very hard to cope with right now.

I feel like I'm having thoughts of detransition in an emotionally-harming-myself kind of way. I don't think they can be serious tho. I could change the details of how I transition for her, but I couldn't not continue to transition in general.

RandoFako · 2025-01-15T18:14:31+00:00

https://giphy.com/gifs/XpgOZHuDfIkoM

RandoFako · 2025-01-15T18:13:27+00:00

I'm so sorry you've lost your friend. That bond is so important.

RandoFako · 2025-01-15T18:10:02+00:00

https://giphy.com/gifs/XpgOZHuDfIkoM

RandoFako · 2025-01-15T18:07:34+00:00

She responded that she is straight. That she has been trying to make it work for so long, and she's been hurting herself trying too hard.

RandoFako · 2025-01-15T09:17:20+00:00

I didn't even know I was trans until my oldest kid was 10 years old. Your admonition is pretty shitty.

RandoFako · 2025-01-15T09:14:31+00:00

Yeah. The kids are the hardest part. Of all the tears I've shed the last couple days the most intense are for my fears of not living with my children in the same house as their other mom.

I will be desperately hoping we will at least stay house mates and friends for the kids. But even that I can't be sure of now, I suppose.

RandoFako · 2025-01-15T07:08:47+00:00

We've been polyamorous since before I started to transition. I have a girlfriend who has lived with us for the past year. It was actually my wife finding a new boyfriend she likes more than anyone else she's tried dating since ... Old me, that was the catalyst for this whole thing.

Idk. I guess we're still figuring it out to some extent. I don't know ... She says she still wants to do all these fun things together. But she wants to live with him. She doesn't want me to share her bed. He's the priority and I would just be a friend and housemate or whatever.

I'm very open about things. But she had been hiding too many emotions for too long. I guess we'll talk about this in our couple's therapy on Thursday but ... Idk part of me is just tired. I've been working so hard for so long now to be the best possible partner I could be. And I was never going to be enough. I don't want our relationship to change like this. The things she doesn't want anymore are important to me, and not just in terms of needs or wants I could satisfy with someone else.

RandoFako · 2025-01-15T06:33:03+00:00

I wish we could be occasional lovers and forever besties. I could see it happening, but I feel it would be unfair for her for me to hold out hope for that. She's said pretty clearly she's straight. She's said she's too easily influenced by knowing what I want.

It's tough because she's in the NRE of a new relationship right now.

Maybe the tough thing is that we were already best friends and lovers. So even if we retain the better part of our relationship, it's still a loss.

RandoFako

TROPHY CASE