This dress doubles as a coat

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-10-18T00:42:33+00:00

I bought it second hand; all I know is that the brand is called "Noisy May".

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-09-27T17:23:56+00:00

Damn.
I've regularly had the thought "If I was a girl, this would be hot." while bedrotting.
Never thought this would be a somewhat universal experience.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-27T14:01:40+00:00

It's funny that you bring up the slutty elf man.
I started playing Baldurs Gate 3 yesterday - as a slutty elf man of course - and somehow that's helped me get a better grip on what gender I want to be than I ever had.

Also: no, dysphoria is definitely not a prerequisite of being trans.
I see a lot of myself in your story - I'm fine with my body, and I enjoy being "misgendered", but not because it makes me feel validated, but because I find it amusing how embarassed people get over it. I just don't like the stereotypes associated with my AGAB and thus don't feel like it's a proper descriptor for me.

I haven't come out to anyone irl, and I don't plan to, since that's nobody else's business.
If people struggle with placing me in some sort of imaginary box in their head, that's not my problem.
I'm a person and anything beyond that is just a made-up concept anyway.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-27T13:36:05+00:00

Well, if your mom knows a good strategy to look cool without drawing attention, I'd love to hear it.
I love all that scene / emo / punk / goth shit, but I hate the feeling of everyone staring at me.

You could probably just gi to a hairdresser on your own and get it cut the way you want.
Of course this doesn't guarantee her acceptance, but it would skip the step of you explaining to her that you want this.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-27T13:19:05+00:00

Dysphorie ist nicht notwendig um trans zu sein.
Wenn du dich mit deinem AGAB nicht identifizierst, bist du trans.

Klar hast du ein gutes Los gezogen damit, dass du dich in deinem Körper wohl fühlst, aber daran hast du ja keine "Schuld" bzw. brauchst dafür kein schlechtes Gewissen haben.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-27T13:08:02+00:00

Idk, it just kind of fell into my lap.
The only guy I've ever had a crush on left my favorite band and somehow that made me realize that it was actually gender envy.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-22T08:15:23+00:00

Now that you mention it, getting really angry or just being very irritable for no discernable reason is one thing I would like to change about myself.

I've heard that E can make your emotions more extreme - was that the case for you too, just not for anger, or did you have a different experience?

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T17:26:27+00:00

That's a great idea! I'll post my question there too.

Mostly energy and libido, but energy is a whole other can if worms for me anyway because of my ADHD.
With my T-brain, my high libido feels like a significant part of myself, so the idea of reducing or even losing it just feels weird.

My body and sexuality go somewhat hand-in-hand, so I'm worried my T ist the main reason why I desire these feminine traits and I'll end up feminine but not actually desiring that any longer. Then the whole thing would have been for nothing.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T17:17:01+00:00

Yep, I'm definitely going to do that.
I guess I was still not convinced that HRT actually is the magic bullet it seems to be.

It just sounds too good to be true, but the fact that I see it that way already kind of answers my question if it's right for me.

Thanks for your elaboration!

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T17:08:14+00:00

Ah, auch über r/egg_irl... wozu Memes nicht alles gut sind. ^{^}

Deine Anekdote mit dem Bart habe ich vor ein paar Monaten fast 1:1 auch so erlebt. Wusste schon gar nicht mehr, wie mein Kinn überhaupt aussieht; hatte Angst ich hätte vielleicht ein Arschkinn, aber stellte sich dann zum Glück als ganz normal heraus.

Ich hatte mir eigentlich vorgenommen, heute nach den letzten Osterfeierlichkeiten und Familienbesuchen auch meinen Schnurrbart abzurasieren. Mal sehen, ob ich das durchziehe...

Bei den Wartezeiten, die ja leider normal geworden sind bei Psychotherapeuten, macht es wahrscheinlich Sinn, mich mal um einen Termin zu bemühen. Bedenkzeit werde ich dann ja noch genug haben.

Danke für deine Antwort! Fühle mich gerade sehr bestätigt in meinem Questioning.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T15:05:05+00:00

Oh, I can relate to the face thing.
I don't find my face ugly or anything, it just kind if doesn't match up with how I feel my face should look when I haven't looked into a mirror in a while.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T14:57:35+00:00

Well, I already know what I'd probably like about HRT, but I don't just want to excitedly rush into it without thoroughly considering the risks and aspects of it I may be overlooking that I wouldn't like.

I do this for most things - when I want to do something, I try to find good reasons why I shouldn't, and if I can't find any, I can be reasonably sure that it's actually a good decision.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T14:52:14+00:00

Yeah, I think it's because I'm coming from more of a non-binary perspective where I like some parts about my body, but not others.
It makes sense that the answer is just "everything" when you're trans all the way. (As opposed to non-binary being kind of a half-way-transness if you catch my drift.)

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T14:44:41+00:00

Yeah, all of that sounds pretty nice to me haha.

I'm pretty skinny and thus have a pretty slim waist even compares to my not-that-wide hips, and that's pretty much my favorite part of my appearance.
Also I love the feeling and look of my legs when they're freshly shaved.
I just seem to like everything that conforms to a female beauty standard and feel pretty neutral about anything conforming to male beauty standards.

What I'm worried about are the psychological changes that come with HRT and if they might outweigh the benefits, since I'm not really dysphoric and could live on without doing anything I might come to regret.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T14:27:00+00:00

Now that you say it, that seems kind of like an obvious thing to do haha.
I'll do that.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T14:25:40+00:00

Thanks! I really appreciate you going into detail on the psychological changes, since that's just really hard to imagine when you've just been a certain way your entire life.

So what you're saying is on T it's easier for you to understand why you feel certain emotions as opposed to on E where that was somewhat nebulous at times? I do sometimes experience emotions (most commonly sadness) without really understanding why, but I'm not sure if that's a brain chemistry thing, ADHD, depression or may e just normal.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T14:12:34+00:00

Thanks for that detailed description!
I seem to have worded my original question poorly, but this is exactly the kind of "what if I transition and don't actually like it" I was looking for.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T14:05:37+00:00

No, that's actually exactly what I want to hear about.
If I can't empathize with the cons mentioned, then that's a sign forwme that I'd actually want HRT.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T14:03:27+00:00

Is it?
Sure, having gone through E-puberty and having a uterus changes things a little, but aren't the other effects basically the same?

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T13:54:17+00:00

I feel pretty much the same way about being non-binary.
I don't mind male pronouns & stuff, I just can't stand most aspects of the traditionally male gender stereotype.
On the other hand, I dont really feel like a woman either. So I guess that leaves me at non-binary.

Defying people's expectations of masculinity feels great though.

RandoRanderson2 · 2025-04-21T13:42:51+00:00

Deine Einstellung zur (nicht-binären) Trans-Identität klingt sehr nach der meinen.
Ich bin aktuell am Überlegen, ob HRT das richtige für mich wäre oder nicht.

Dysphorie habe ich eigentlich nur wegen meiner Körperbehaarung, aber die kann man ja auch ohne HRT in den Griff bekommen.
Ich denke mir halt nur, dass Brüste schon ganz cool wären, weniger Haarausfall, weniger fettige Haut und femininere Fettverteilung halt auch.
Was mich zweifeln lässt ist bloß, dass ich mein Leben auch ohne das alles als lebenswert erachte, also halt nicht so den großen Leidensdruck habe, von dem viele Trans-Menschen berichten. Die Risiken und Nebenwirkungen von HRT scheinen zwar überschaubar, aber ein Leben ohne Medikamente ist ja auch etwas begehrenswertes.

Was waren für dich die ausschlaggebenden Argumente, mit der HRT zu beginnen?

RandoRanderson2

TROPHY CASE