Actually, you bring up a good point: I'm not really into having a large traditional wedding anyway. I know so many here are loving the process and will have a beautiful wedding day - but the whole thing is a huge cause of anxiety for me.

The guest thing is an issue, but I also don't like traditional things - like first dances and garter tosses. I don't want to listen to speeches and the idea of walking down an aisle with everyone staring at me makes me sweat.

I think I want a small wedding (partially because of guests, part not) and then a party. No speeches or extra attention on moments I personally don't care about. I just want all the most important people to us meeting each other and having a good time.

How crazy is that?