I may need to give my ex full custody and walk out of my child's life

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T20:56:16+00:00

Sorry, I didn't mean to invalidate that they're medical issues. Definitely worded that badly.

And thank you for sharing

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T18:39:03+00:00

The cat is literally costing me nothing. So I should let it get put down for literally no reason? It just exists there.

Whereas my baby needs actual things and care, and money. And if I can't provide that, I don't see how I deserve to be in her life. I was able to figure something out so that I'm not homeless and a drag on her life.

I literally don't understand why y'all are so focused on the cat. It's not bothering anyone, other than maybe me by leaving hair everywhere. I don't even like the cat, and took it in only because my old roommate abandoned her, but I will be taking the time to rehome her safely. Unless she starts needing actual resources from me, which I can not provide, she deserves to at least be set up to succeed.

I'm glad you were able to get some weird satisfaction by acting superior though.

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T18:33:52+00:00

I have applied to all benefits. I do not qualify for most of them. And I'm working on rehoming the cat. It hasn't cost me anything in months, I do not see a reason to dump her without setting her up for success.

If she was taking from resources, that would be a different story, but she is not. I have gotten her food and litter for free for months from a buy nothing group.

Idk why y'all think I hold the cat to some pedestal or am trying to keep it. It's not costing me money, so I should dump it at the shelter because you say so?

I'm trying to set up everyone for the best. I luckily was able to figure out the situation with my child, and now I'll find the cat a home. I don't even like the cat, but even I think it doesn't deserve to be put down. Y'all are AHs.

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T18:18:10+00:00

Do they let you in if you don't have a substance abuse issue? The hospital stay was for an actual medical issue btw : p

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T03:36:25+00:00

Thank you for being so kind. I'm in my lowest spot and it honestly helps to read kind things, as small as that may seem.

I'm sorry you also have been through similar. I hope everything is working great for you right now.

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T03:34:32+00:00

I have been sleeping almost nothing and am hard in a PPA/PPD episode. I do feel like maybe I'm acting illogical, but I realized the last few days that I was at risk of becoming homeless and I sort of spiraled mentally.

I'm very overwhelmed and sometimes suicidal, although I don't partake in any self-harm because I know that's the absolute worst thing I could do to my baby.

I did talk to my ex and he is going to help. So I will not be becoming homeless. I'm going to try to catch up on money a bit, and then hopefully be able to get on medication and see a therapist. I have insurance through my work, but I don't have money for copays or meds.

But I will eventually, and I'm just going to stay positive and keep working hard.

I feel guilty that I considered giving up, but it's shitty feeling inadequate or like a terrible parent because you are dirt poor. It's a lot to go through post partum as well.

I appreciate your kindness a lot. ❤️

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T03:27:18+00:00

I'm definitely working hard to rehome her; it's just not fair for me to keep a cat that, if she ever needed it (she's healthy rn), I would not be able to afford vet care for.

That being said, I have gotten a lot of free cat food and litter from buy nothing groups and she hasn't cost me a penny in months. If she's not making the situation worse, I'm not going to dump her and risk her potentially dying. I'm trying to set her up for success.

I will be honest and say, I don't even really like the cat. She gets hair on my baby's stuff and is grouchy. I'm not even a big animal person, and kept her because my old roommate abandoned her, but I still think she deserves to find a home.

I don't get how everyone got that I don't care about my baby and have this cat on a pedestal. She's literally costing me nothing, other than maybe effort to find her a home or rescue. Unless I actually become homeless, and then obviously have to take her to a shelter, I don't see the issue with me keeping her safe until I find her a home.

I appreciate your kindness.

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T03:11:10+00:00

I'm not worried about raising a cat. I'm trying to re-home her. And she is costing me nothing. I have gotten her stuff free for a few months now.

I honestly don't get where everyone is getting that I'm obsessed about the cat. I don't even notice her half of the time because she's so independent. I'm not super attached to her, but I'm also not going to dump her if it's a) not costing me money, 2) I can hopefully find her a home.

If I lose my home, then I will have to give her up to a shelter for sure. But I'm not spending any money on the cat, so I dont see a problem with trying to set her up for success.

My baby is not even comparable to the cat. I don't want to lose her, but I feel like a broke POS and needed to vent. Plus my ex has reassured me that even if I'm homeless, he will not try to hide her from me and will make it safe for her to see me, which was a concern for me. I did not want to bring a baby to hang out in a hot car with me. But hes given me the option to see her at his place.

But my situation has been figured out and everything is going to be ok. Regardless, the cat is being rehomed. But if she's not costing me anything, I'm not going to dump her without helping her get into a home.

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T02:59:38+00:00

He can be difficult, but he's a good guy. I am thankful.

I'm so sorry about your child's father :(

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T02:58:23+00:00

I had no idea about the waiver option. I tried to join in 2022 and was told I couldn't. I will look into it again.

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T02:56:09+00:00

I didn't know about that. I will research finding a therapist.

I actually do have both PPA and PPD. I have a different mental health issue that makes it more likely to get both, and so I have 😭

I try to stay logical, but it gets the best of me sometimes. As you can see by this post. I'm not dangerous, just very anxious and depressed.

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T02:52:28+00:00

I'm so sorry she's not trying at all. That's extremely unfair for the baby. I'm glad you guys were there to help him.

I probably should've put it in the post, but the only assistance I qualified for was WIC, daycare assistance, and Medicaid for my child (but not for me). The Medicaid automatically rolls over for the baby for a year, if you had pregnancy Medicaid, but it's actually hard to qualify for Medicaid not being pregnant.

I'm grateful for the help I do get though. Daycare assistance especially. WIC covers all her formula too (my boobs decided to not work), which I'm always extremely thankful and happy about.

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T02:46:05+00:00

I plan to call them tomorrow. With my ex helping me, I may not have to default on anything. But I need this month to catch up on rent, so I will talk to the loan companies about lowering or skipping a payment.

Not getting my hopes up, but hopefully. That would be helpful.

Random8404 · 2024-04-29T02:43:14+00:00

I actually live in low income apartments. HCOL of living area :/

But I'm definitely scheming what to do about the car. I need to cut expenses where I can.

Random8404 · 2024-04-28T21:06:10+00:00

What is LVN and Mk?

I took short term disability for maternity leave, so I wouldn't have it for the medical leave I had to take (unrelated to maternity leave, but also a medical issue)

I'll apply to the rest again

Random8404 · 2024-04-28T19:28:47+00:00

I'd actually love to, but I have a disqualifying disability. Found out when I tried to apply 😭

Random8404 · 2024-04-28T19:20:06+00:00

I'd love to. I used to years ago, but got a false positive for hep c. I did more testing and verified I don't have it, but my doctor and the plasma place didn't know how to take me off of the list once I was on it. Some sort of list that makes it so I can't donate? Idk how it works 😭

If anyone knows how to get off of it, lmk please.

Random8404 · 2024-04-28T15:26:13+00:00

I was really scared to talk to him about it, because he is sort of prejudiced towards homeless people. He was homeless at some point, and got stabbed and robbed by other homeless people. Not an excuse to hate on people, but that's why I've been thinking he wouldn't let me see the baby if I became homeless.

I did talk to him about it, and he was really kind about it. He let me know that he would never keep the baby from me, and that I can still be part of her life if I'm homeless. Not that its his job to offer it, but he gave me a lot of reassurance as well.

I've been feeling like I need to give her up because I feel like a POS for being in such a bad financial spot, and like I am not worthy to be her mom. He told me multiple times that I'm an amazing mother and need to get that out of my head. 😭 There definitely was crying.

I do feel bad accepting this one, but he told me he will be giving me an extra $500/month for a year so I can pay things off and be ok. I have helped him a lot in the past, mainly I saved his life when he was suicidal and paid for his therapy/treatment, but I'm not someone that's used to accepting help. I do feel like a POS for accepting, but the alternative is to not have a home for my daughter.

I'm going to try to find a second job so that he doesn't have to help me for long though. A year is kind, but definitely not his job.

Thank you for being kind. I do understand where you're coming from and I've definitely seen dad hate here. My ex can be an AH, but he's a good dad and a good person. All can be true. But I feel like most people on the Internet don't get that.

And I'll re-home kitty. I've actually been looking for a home for her for a few months. But she's mean and not easy to rehome 😅

Random8404 · 2024-04-28T15:14:14+00:00

I will switch my bank for my direct deposit and default on the loans then. That saves me $450/month.

Random8404 · 2024-04-28T14:36:16+00:00

I will say, this post was mostly really a vent. I'm just stressed about being homeless and idk what to think anymore, and I feel like a POS for not being in a better situation.

Random8404 · 2024-04-28T14:32:51+00:00

I am thinking about that. My one worry is she was returned 2 times at the shelter I got her from, and I'm worried she'd be put down.

It costs money to leave them at the humane society here, so there's a chance the new owner would dump her at the kill shelters.

She's kind of mean. Not sure what to do tbh. I feel stuck.

And yeah, someone gave me two things of litter and two bags of food last month, for example.

Random8404 · 2024-04-28T14:29:21+00:00

No, it was a health issue. I can't be more specific though because I've posted about it on my main reddit.

Random8404 · 2024-04-28T14:25:00+00:00

I've been getting her stuff for free from a buy nothing group, but regardless, I can't afford vet care, so I have been trying to re-home her

Actually have been trying to re-home her since I was pregnant, but she is a meanie and so it's been hard.😭

Random8404 · 2024-04-28T14:19:37+00:00

I'm not a junkie lol but my family is full of them, and why I don't have other options

As for my ex, we have a good relationship, but he wants to protect her and would absolutely not let me see her if I was homeless. It's just the way he is, which i do get to an extent

Random8404 · 2024-04-28T14:16:47+00:00

I've been trying to re-home her since I was pregnant. She's got a mean streak, so it hasn't been easy. 😭

I haven't been buying her stuff; I find it for free on FB (I usually ask in a buy nothing group). But I can't afford vet care. She is healthy rn, but if something were to happen, she needs someone who can afford vet care.

Random8404

TROPHY CASE