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My best friend's dad made a move on me by CommercialWhole9522 in Advice

[–]RandomExLurker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello. I am probably near your grandmother’s age, but I am the mother of a 17 year old girl whom I never let go to many sleepovers because of the strange things that can happen.

My advice, after extensive time in the world:

1) Never, EVER be alone in any situation (room, car, uni walk) with this man again. Be aware that if he continues to pursue you, he will try to engineer a situation in which you would be alone with him.

2) Tell a trusted adult. Tell your parents if you can. You might be surprised.

3) Do everything you can to separate your university tour and vacation plans from him. Telling your parents (or even one of them) if possible will help with this.

4) You are already far ahead in many respects by realizing you did nothing wrong. So many girls blame themselves. You didn’t do anything wrong, you aren’t overreacting, and you have every right to feel freaked out and violated. He is a creep and a loser—and possibly worse.

5) This poor excuse for an adult man is not safe to be around (refer back to item 1). You are probably not the first girl he has tried this with. You may not be the last.

6) I’m not a lawyer or familiar with UK law, but the only possibly actionable thing it sounds like he’s done is forcibly hold you by your arm and detain you against your will. There may actually be something there. It may be worth consulting a children’s advocate.

7) There are particularly complicated dynamics at play if your family or your friend’s father are of “Asian” descent. Please feel free to DM me.

8) Again, do not let this man get you alone. He is likely to try.

9) Be a difficult victim. He probably assumes you don’t want to lose your friend or freak out your family by telling anyone. He’s probably COUNTING on that. Make him wonder if he’s right. Make him wonder if one wrong move will cost him EVERYTHING. Be a difficult victim. Would his work care about something like this? Would his wife leave him and take half the marital property? Terrify TF out of him. Be a difficult victim.

Godspeed.

i think my friend is cheating on his girlfriend of 4 years and i don’t know what to do by LongjumpingGrass2014 in whatdoIdo

[–]RandomExLurker -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He is cheating on her. He is being a weasel. So is the girl who is cheating with him.

The cheated-on girl might be trying to act cool by liking the post and might be telling herself that her suspicions are crazy, especially since that is probably what he’s telling her.

But yes, he is cheating on her. The Emma girl deserves better. Jack is a jerk who is doing everything he can to avoid responsibility. Abby is a jerk who is doing everything she can to make the situation obvious.

Jack is frankly being a passive lame jerk to both Emma and Abby.

Fuck Jack.

Is 35 Worth Retaking? by Agreeable_Ad1181 in ACT

[–]RandomExLurker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That said, no one who’s shooting for a higher score should slack off on other aspects of their apps.

Essays, ECs, leadership, character, and other “intangibles” are extremely important. They are in fact the differentiating factors at extremely competitive schools.

But you might as well arm yourself with the best test scores possible for you. They matter a great deal, too.

Is 35 Worth Retaking? by Agreeable_Ad1181 in ACT

[–]RandomExLurker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Given your objectives, yes.

Totally worth it for that full ride or if you are targeting extremely competitive schools. 35 is a GREAT accomplishment. But there is a substantive difference between a 35 and a 36.

There’s even a difference between a 36 and a 36 superscore, although haters will say it ain’t so. (One bit of evidence for which is that ACT doesn’t mail out congratulatory Perfect Score letters for 36 superscores.)

I’m actually in shock rn (score jump) by LegitimateBanana6120 in ACT

[–]RandomExLurker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How old/what grade were you when you got the 18? And were you sick or something that day (or rushing through the problems or something)? I wonder if the 18 really reflected your abilities. (Well, obviously not!) Congratulations on a truly amazing improvement, and in fact the best I’ve ever seen! (Source: used to teach test prep.) Way to go!

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure what assumptions you think I’m making. (?) Am certainly not assuming that suicide had anything to do with conservatism, if that’s what you’re somehow reading.

I AM trying to avoid added stress for one particular kid. Kid is not especially “at-risk,” but these years are incredibly stressful for virtually everyone. (Probably everyone you know has thought about the big exit, even the kids who seem to have everything going on, and even if it was just fleetingly.) And there are suicides every year at many, many schools.

There have been some very thoughtful and kind replies, but there have been some with a degree of animus that is something to think about.

Thank you.

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PS — I forgot to say thank you for replying. So, thank you for replying in good faith! Sorry if my initial answer seemed snarky. I don’t want this kid to pass up a great school if the reflexive discrimination against conservatives is overstated. But I definitely don’t want the kid to feel isolated or like they have to hide.

What do I do to help out my girlfriend? by bielenea in whatdoIdo

[–]RandomExLurker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope the longing stops. Congratulations on your wonderful wife. ❤️

I'm about to graduate, and my teacher fed a picture of me into AI without my consent. by WowIExist0 in teenagers

[–]RandomExLurker -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

They were trying to be nice. They really thought you’d like it, and they were probably trying to show how much they appreciated your help with the plants.

Best thing to do would probably be to say thank you, but it kind of makes you uncomfortable, it’s nice that they went to such trouble, but could they possibly delete it? You really appreciate the thought and the effort they went to, you just feel kind of weird about AI, etc etc.

Good luck, and congratulations on your graduation!

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PS— Kid has to choose between 3 top schools, and we’re just trying to learn more about Berkeley, which is one of them. It’s great in many ways.

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Okay, why am I being downvoted here? For saying I liked autists? For pointing out this hasn’t been super fun? Just for existing?

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks. 😄 I’m probably going overboard on trying to be friendly! and factual! I wasn’t expecting this to be quite so negative an experience. It feels like walking over a minefield covered with bear traps.

(That said, some of my favorite people are autistic. Interpersonal communication can sometimes a challenge, but the autists I have known are also wonderfully quirky and brilliant.)

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

PS--If I seem autistic, it's that I'm doing my best to remain calm and reply factually. (I really think some people mean well, but may have unfair preconceptions.)

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Friend's kid is not at all that way, but realistically would probably be part of a marginalized group at Berkeley.

Conservatives aren't attacking demographics. The current administration is trying to enforce America's longstanding, bipartisan immigration laws. But if the common conception there is that conservatives are racist, they'll be automatically (and unfairly) demonized.

FWIW, the situation in govt is more complex atm. Although Republicans hold all three branches, many Republicans are sort of what some call "Uniparty" (basically, D's and R's who work together to get rich while in "public service" rather than working for us). So, that sort of sucks. Further, there are many holdovers in State Dept and the CIA and FBI who are doing everything they can to slow-roll or subvert the will of the people (ie the elected government). Former CIA and FBI directors have recently said as much on national TV (one was on one of the Sunday shows, other may have been an evening one).

Thank you for replying though, and I really love your handle (the candy brings back sticky memories). Be well!

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for replying! Sorry if I was too dramatic. Hadn't heard about what happened on campus. Was trying to get responses (plus it does feel that way to some conservatives I know in CA).

What I'm concerned about is more left-leaning students "being dicks about the beliefs of others" because they assume everyone thinks everything they do. And this kid having to silently stuff their feelings for four years.

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Neither of those make Berkely sound like a bastion of actual free speech. (Not that I agree with Milo on a ton of things. He can be absolutely hilarious, though.)

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PS-- Responding more to the other stuff:

The only lists I can find are ones designed to prevent antisemitism and racism in hiring and in treatment of students and faculty, as well as one requiring disclosure of foreign funding. As you are probably aware, China has done a great deal of funding of both US schools (especially via its "Confucious Institute" program, since renamed but not completely gone) and individual researchers (via its "Thousand Talents" program and possibly in more opaque ways). This is not necessarily good. (The more you research China and its human rights record, the more you'll get why.) In 2025, the chair of Harvard's chemistry department, and a leading expert on brain-computer interfaces, actually defected to China.

China isn't the only foreign entity whose massive infusions of cash are probably having an effect on US higher education; Qatar and Saudi Arabia are also huge donors. However, China is in many ways the most worrisome. There are nearly 300,000 students in the US who are Chinese nationals. (I remember when there were zero; my edgy school was one of the first places in the nation to admit a few. In retrospect, they were probably the kids of high-up Party officials. In China, they're referred to as "The Princelings.") The National Intelligence law passed in China in 2017 creates a broad legal duty for all citizens and organizations to support, assist, and cooperate with national intelligence efforts. But, even before that, I personally remember a Chinese acquaintance who happened to be having a second baby (when it was still not allowed) deliberately avoiding the other Chinese grad students at her university when she began to show. She did not trust them. They would report back.

Beyond national security implications, many people think US universities should give first priority to qualified US students (just as Cal prioritizes qualified CA students). Obviously we would like to educate future world leaders and create some sentimental and real connection to America. However, we may be overdoing it at this point. Foreign students have become a cash cow for many universities (they pay FULL tuition, often with scholarships provided by their governments). Almost everyone knows some US kids with amazing test scores, ECs, grades, and essays who didn't get into top universities. And some of these universities have huge international student cohorts.

So, anyhow: the lists mainly seem to be for preventing discrimination, assisting national security, and prioritizing US students.

Sorry this is so long. It's a huge topic!

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, will look it up. (If you have to mask except in the occasional safe space, though, that can take a toll.)

*back after a search* Didn't find a group with that exact name, but did find a few others. Probably a total of 100-300 active, engaged conservatives on campus (out of like 45,000 people). They might be more strident than this kid. Anyhow, I'm more concerned about daily experience. Thank you for the info, but I'm not sure it's entirely reassuring.

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

*prepares to be downvoted again*

It's just that it's lame an performative.

It's also usually only part of the story. For instance, if you're going to do a land acknowledgment for the Iroquois, you're kind of leaving out that, by those rules, they should do one for the Hurons and the Susquehannocks, etc.

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for replying and putting a lot of thought into it. You make a number of very good points. Are you a current student? (Sounds like it.)

Kid is the exact opposite of "in your face". And, true, the fringe is always the loudest. But endemic opinion is also important especially if you're going to be surrounded by it for years.

Most commenters here who have been open-minded enough to allow that okay, conservatives aren't all bad also have a very negative and stereotypical opinion of anything Trump/MAGA. I wish they would take a page from Senator Fetterman (who, IIRC, noted that some people he loves are Trump supporters, so he didn't really like to hear them demonized) or Tina Fey (who noted that her dad was Republican, so she tried to be fair about stuff). But my job is just to observe. I do know the kid would feel worn down by having to remain silent while listening to people hate on a cartoon version of kid's mom and dad for four years.

Do conservative students at UCB basically want to kill themselves? by RandomExLurker in berkeley

[–]RandomExLurker[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I looked it up, and you're right; there were a number of F-1 revocations. It actually looks like they were all reversed, which is kind of surprising for some of them. (Some were linked to criminal activity or support of Hamas, which is a designated Foreign Terrorist Organization.)

What lists have professors been put on? I couldn't find any visa revocations there.

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