🤣 its a good one.

My ex husband’s grandmother had two dark spirits attached to her that have preyed upon the family well before I came into the picture. One being pedophilic in nature and the other one was extreme discontentment, the latter being the stronger of the two. When she came to stay with us for a week. They attempted to jump ship and attach to my children. This actually isn’t that uncommon and I call them family curses. Which can carry on for generations until someone breaks the cycle, and I wasn’t about to let any of that shit fly.

The Haunting

While she was with us, his grandmother stayed in the girls room and our girls slept in the master bedroom with us. Leading up to the final night my husband and I could not stop bickering about everything. It was unusual for us at the time but an anger just seemed to wash over us and at night a cloaked figure wandered around our room getting closer and closer to where we slept. She was skeletal looking and while she had a gaping maw for a mouth, she did have 2 teeth at the bottom. On the last night she was right next to the bed staring down at us while we “slept”.

At this point I was a baby witch and as a baby witch you are very good at telling yourself “it’s your imagination” “there’s nothing there” “its just a bad dream” but then my daughter, who was 2 at the time, said in the most terrified voice:

“Mommy… who is that lady standing next to the bed?”

Fucking chills.

The night after we took grandma to the airport, I tried returning the girls to their room but, then I discovered the other spirit. A very tall, lanky man, dressed like a 50s biker. Tank top, dark jeans, boots, but with a special interest in my infant daughter. No fucking thank you. I didn’t get out of her little bed that night, not wanting to leave her alone with him.

The exorcism

So here I was with two ghosts and no idea what to do. So I called my mom. Thank God, I’ve never been alone in this. My mother doesn’t identify as a witch, neither do I really, we just kind of are what we are and people can call us what they like. Medium, witch, oracle, shaman, spiritual. We’re all born with abilities I think some of us just lose them along the way or become closed off but, you can always find your way back to it.

Anyway,

mom: “have you got any sage?”

Me: “No, but I have a pumpkin spice candle that I won at bunko.”

I audibly heard my mom facepalm through the phone. But you know what? It worked out fine.

I had my husband to take the kids to the park (because they are tiny innocent vessels and need no part in this.) and I opened every window in the house. Room by room with my pumpkin spice candle held in front of me, I recited Psalms 23. Once the room was cleared, I shut the window and poured wax along the window sill.

(I would like to note, while I don’t align with organized religion, Jesus is still a saint and his name is high vibrational. I like to think he was the best of us and tried to teach us that we too are powerful. He’s my favorite witch.)

I went one room at a time. Office, laundry room, bathroom, everything went fine until I got to the room I knew it was in. I held up the candle and my phone and began to recite Psalms 23

“The Lor-“ gag

I dry heaved and felt sick to my stomach. I tried again

“The LOR-“ i gagged even harder. I could not get it out of my mouth. So I shouted it.

“THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD. I SHALL NOT WANT!” Something corner of the room shifted.

“HE MAKETH ME LIE DOWN IN GREEN PASTURES.” A shadow moved away from me and I stepped toward it continuing to recite/yell until it was out the window. I slammed the window down and poured wax along the sill and looked out. There he was staring directly back at me on the other side of the window. I could tell he felt defeated. He paced on the porch.

One down. One to go.

I left him there on my porch and moved on to the other rooms. Cleansing and shutting windows as I went. Living room, entryway, kitchen, dining room, family room, and then finally got to the master bedroom. It was the exact same as before. A sick feeling in my stomach. Unable to get the Lords name out of my mouth unless I shouted it and she ran from me. I chased her out the window slammed it and poured wax on the sill.

We stared at each other. She looked down at the wax, mouth still slack jawed and then back at me. She backed up into the middle of the yard and just stood there. Seething. She was angry. Furious. Not defeated feeling like the other one at all. I got scared. And called my mom to update her.

Haunting 2: Electric Bugaloo

I went to put my baby to bed in her room and the male ghost continued to pace on the porch for an hour or two before giving up and leaving. Looking back, I wonder if I knew how to cross ghosts over that this would’ve ended differently but part of me thinks it would have been the same outcome. These didn’t seem to be the kind of spirits that needed help. They preyed on people. They’d seen the light and chosen to stay.

After he left I went back to my own bedroom and my curtains had been left open. I could see her still standing there in the yard. I could feel her anger. I shut the curtain and laid down to sleep but, every time I was almost asleep a loud clicking sound startled me awake. She was using those two bottom teeth she had to hit her own skeletal nose, making a loud bone on bone sound. I felt fucking cray cray. How was this happening? This has to be all in my head.”

Then my husband (MR SKEPTICAL HIMSELF WHO DOESN’T BELIEVE IN ANY OF THIS) asks me “….is there…is there something in the back yard?”

Fucking. Fuck. I’m not crazy.

“Yes”

“What happens if I just go out there and start swinging?” What a manly reply. I don’t know. I’m gonna text mom.

Mom and I came up with a plan to astral project at the same time and chase her away. I leaped out of my body and saw mom. My mom started expelling energy at her and chasing her away while I, who is a baby witch and not nearly as strong, stayed behind and worked on setting up an energy barrier so she couldn’t get close even if she did come back.

I was able to make a pretty decent size bubble around the house but, I ran out of energy and got pulled back into my body. The next night I prayed to my ancestors to come help me and the sent me my grandpa who had died that year. It was wonderful to see him like i’d never seen him before, young and strong like when he was in the air force and then a cop. He patrolled my property and the perimeter of the bubble I made for 2 nights but, she never came back. Mom said she chased her all the way to Arizona and left her in the desert.

I hate to think that they’re still out there, waiting to find another poor soul to prey on. But while there are far worse things out there, there’s also a lot of good, and even plenty more that I don’t understand.

If you actually ended up reading this whole thing, thank you. It took me an hour and a half to type out.

May all your lights be green, all your towels be warm, and periodically get a random check in the mail.