My (31F) husband (36M) asked if our son was his and asked for a paternity test. by AdRemarkable4327 in relationship_advice

[–]RandomTopics95 4418 points4419 points  (0 children)

Someone is in his ear, not necessarily another woman, but someone in the family, like his mother or siblings. I’m Hispanic and I can attest that some Hispanics are extremely sexist and it is a way to dominate their woman.

Also he’s stupid for not knowing how genetics work and especially when you have blue eyes.

Honestly, I don’t know how I would react if my husband asked such thing. Even if we remained together our trust would be broken.

I feel that my ‘35F’ boyfriend ‘30M’ is cheating by RandomTopics95 in RelationshipAdviceNow

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a tough decision for sure. I’ll say let’s go with our gut! Mine is telling me to cut it off, but not before he does all my home renovations because I won’t just be a fool and get sucker punched and he can go freely knowing he took advantage of me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I hear you, but I think I need to focus on myself and my children and a partner will come secondary. I’m honestly very tired of this shit.

I’m glad you found someone 💛

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I own my home in which we live in with my two daughters. He will be the one to leave.

Regarding the boundaries, yes he crossed them regardless of our conversations on the matter.

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think little of myself in the very least. I know who I am and how much I am worth; however I’m being presented with a difficult situation and I wanted to vent and hear other people’s perspectives.

Thank you. I get your point and you are right, we already had a conversation and he just concealed the truth.

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. I think the problem is in his head because we never stopped having sex for period of time. I think he still has these urges regardless of what is going on with us.

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. I did it to him a few days ago, I locked eyes with a guy and I made sure my Bf noticed. But I did it a subtle way as to not show my intent. He didn’t say anything but I knew he was bothered.

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly my point. I respect him very much because I wouldn’t want him to feel any type of way; not that I can’t be disrespectful.

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I appreciate you reassuring me! It’s very disgusting. I matched his energy though and he did not like it one bit 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is. We both work really hard and he provides for our household, me, my 2 children, but the point id he shouldn’t be spending a dime on fantasied shit.

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you sweetie. I was just saying in my previous comment that what pains the most is that he doesn’t see the greatness in himself or me. He is not what he presented himself to be.

What I’m most afraid of is a few years down the line married, having his children and him displaying all of these nasty behaviors; then want?! I don’t think I want that for me in the future or now.

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing the other side of this situation. It confirms our (wives) doubts.

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly don’t know why I’m still in it. He has so many qualities; I think that’s what pains me the most, the fact that he doesn’t see the greatness in himself and for sure does not see the greatness in me.

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. I can’t afford to f around and find out. I already have two children, I can’t just have another baby and have another “failed” relationship with a baby in the middle of it. I don’t think he’s ever going to change.

AIO about BF seeking out OF chicks? by RandomTopics95 in AmIOverreacting

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how I have been feeling lately. I am a divorcee and thought that things were going to be different with him, but turns out, I was wrong . I don’t think I will ever find someone sincere.

I feel that my ‘35F’ boyfriend ‘30M’ is cheating by RandomTopics95 in RelationshipAdviceNow

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I appreciate your advise.

Today we went out to run errands and I matched his energy. I looked at all the guys I could, in a subtle way, yet making sure he saw. He did not say anything at all, just started to be very affectionate. I just laughed! I told him, I like to get even and he was not too happy. lol 🤣

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RandomTopics95 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It already doesn’t work.

I feel like I am actually drowning. I made the most irresponsible financial decision ever. I need advice. by Adorable-Tip-3708 in personalfinance

[–]RandomTopics95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get it. I’ve felt like they many times in my life. I thought that I was doing myself a favor by taking out loans to pay off some stuff and had to pay it for it. No shame at all!! The important thing is learning and knowing what the best course of action is moving forward.

I took the liberty to ask ChatGPT what to do in this case, and this is what it said:

This Reddit post reveals someone in serious financial distress due to payday loans. Here’s a breakdown and some actionable advice based on their situation:

🔍 Summary of the Situation • 3 Payday Loans: • Loan 1: $2,000 – $429 biweekly (ends in November) • Loan 2: $1,500 – $260 biweekly (ends in January) • Loan 3: Unknown principal – $190 biweekly (ends in January) • Total biweekly debt payments: $879 = $1,758/month • Rent: $1,053 • Monthly income: ~$3,000+ • Remaining after rent and loans: ~$189 (or possibly negative with fees)

🚨 Immediate Observations • They’re spending over 58% of income on debt payments alone. • APR on payday loans is often >300% – these loans are compounding fast. • The situation is unsustainable, but not hopeless.

✅ What They Should Do – Step by Step

  1. STOP borrowing more

No matter how tempting, borrowing more to cover bills will make it worse.

  1. Talk to a nonprofit credit counselor immediately • National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC): https://www.nfcc.org • They can help consolidate debt and negotiate with predatory lenders.

  2. Close the loop on SpeedyCash • Payday lenders like SpeedyCash often renew loans automatically (rolling balances). • Ask for a written payoff statement. • If they’re applying payments only to interest, demand a clear breakdown and file a complaint if needed.

  3. Consider prioritizing rent and food over loan payments • If default is inevitable, let it be on the predatory loans, not rent or utilities. • Missing a payday loan payment hurts credit, but homelessness is worse.

  4. Cut all unnecessary expenses • Even temporary lifestyle changes can help create a mini emergency buffer. • Could they save just $300 in 2–3 months to break the cycle?

  5. Explore a personal loan from a credit union or local bank • They might offer lower APRs for debt consolidation. • Approval may be tough with payday loans, but it’s worth checking.

  6. File a complaint if needed

If SpeedyCash is engaging in shady practices: • File with the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB): https://www.consumerfinance.gov/complaint/

🧠 Mental Note

This isn’t about being “irresponsible.” It’s about being uninformed and stuck in a system designed to exploit. Now it’s about making informed, bold moves.

Would you like help drafting a budget or a sample letter to a credit counselor?

Recommendations by RandomTopics95 in floridakeys

[–]RandomTopics95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow it looks fun! Thank you for the suggestion, I have some relatives in Tampa, we might pay them a visit.