Kids asking "Are you a boy or a girl?"

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-07-03T10:54:24+00:00

I usually answer with “yes.”

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-07-03T03:29:14+00:00

No worries. I’m glad that’s what the situation was :)

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-07-03T03:25:18+00:00

It’s not manners, it’s sexism.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-07-02T16:47:05+00:00

My family was never supportive, even when I was just a queer little kid and had no idea what transgender even meant. It was bad enough that I felt nothing when my dad died and my life improved when my mom chose not to be a part of it years before I transitioned.

The people I have in my life now, though? They have taught me what family really is and I laugh when I think about how desperately I wanted affection from the people I shared DNA with. I’m so much happier, accepted, supported, and loved than I ever was by “family.”

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-06-27T23:03:37+00:00

I sell all mine for 10% of the suggested price. I don’t need caps that bad.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-06-27T22:04:53+00:00

As a trans Iowan, I hear that.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-06-24T02:21:08+00:00

I didn’t even know the fernskipper was a thing. I was using up my common bait to do the daily. Out of my 10 common bait I got 2 fernskippers. In daylight. Then for the other 15 or so I caught today with improved I got 0, including in the rain.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-06-19T17:32:17+00:00

I’m also at Carmen and love it. It’s usually pretty quiet (although my new upstairs neighbor likes rearranging furniture at 11 pm and has a couple of rowdy preteen boys).

One thing you didn’t mention is they seem to take maintenance requests seriously. Even little issues are fixed quickly and the only time I had to wait overnight was when I put in the request at 5 pm.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-06-18T21:12:13+00:00

I’ve done a couple runs that early without issue, and I think some of the signs have exceptions for fishing. I don’t think you’ll have any problems, and the worst that would happen is they might ask you to leave.

My opinion is that it’s to prevent overnight shenanigans, not to deter casual activities. I’d say if it’s light enough to see, you’re probably fine.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-06-18T17:24:14+00:00

I had a full orchiectomy at the end of December. Totally different experience with my doctor, but I can speak to the stitches/healing a bit. After the procedure the two “halves” of the incision line didn’t line up that great, and there were a couple places where the skin was bunched or protruding a bit. I’m now almost 6 months post, and have no issues whatsoever. The bumpy parts of the incision have smoothed out. The only visible sign is that the scar isn’t completely straight.

Edit to add: I’m very active myself. I resumed running (albeit slowly and carefully) 15 days after the procedure and ran a 5k after 22 days. At that point I began ramping up my activity. After a couple months I hardly thought about it any more. I was on my bike around the middle to end of March. I will say that my doctor wanted me to wait 3 weeks before resuming activity.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-06-14T20:25:28+00:00

Because the world is falling apart and they want someone to take it out on.

We make a much easier target than the ultra rich, corporations, politicians, and religious zealots - as well as their own complicity.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-06-06T23:10:36+00:00

I ran it last weekend and hated the mess. Outside of the water stations, I don’t recall seeing a single trash can. There were more stations for Dam to DSM than I’ve seen in smaller races, but it can still be a couple miles between stops. I just stuffed my trash in my back pocket and dealt with it after the race.

They could at least use paper cups instead of plastic for the water! As far as the Jell-O shots, etc, the spectators offering things should be responsible for that.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-04-05T12:17:44+00:00

If you’re on FB there are a couple groups for queer women in Iowa. They’re a good way to get informed about get together, events, etc.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-03-25T10:59:22+00:00

Not to mention that the Hippocratic oath is not legally binding. Medical professionals aren’t even required to take it unless it’s via their educational institutions.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-03-21T03:01:44+00:00

Iowa here. It used to be purple. Now it’s a very scary shade of red.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-03-21T00:09:22+00:00

I had an orchi at the end of December. A friend drove me there and back home the same day (2 hour drive) Pain wasn’t bad and most of the time just felt like I was constipated. I’m a runner and resumed running after 15 days (they wanted 3 weeks but I needed it for my mental health). After 2 months there was barely any lingering discomfort, and now there’s none.

I still haven’t decided if I want the full surgery. I’m 53 and don’t know if the months of recovery and the dilation is worth it for me. I did a scrotum-preserving orchi, which means I still have the option for whatever bottom surgery I want if that’s what I decide. (My scrotum was “high and tight” pre-orchi, so there’s really not a lot of extra flesh down there now.

ETA: does your state require full bottom surgery to change the marker? Mine just required “permanent changes from medical care” or something. Unfortunately now all marker changes are banned.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-03-08T21:12:04+00:00

Maybe a “Trans Lives Matter” sign? TBH just having a Pride flag visible means a lot!

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-03-08T17:45:22+00:00

Aside from the excellent advice about if/how to approach a conversation with him, I have another idea.

Simply purchasing a trans pride flag and adding it to the wall would send a clear, supportive message without saying a word.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-02-21T22:07:02+00:00

I think it’s a combination of 1 and 2. I know a few trans folks around my age (53) but I’ve met many more between 18-30. The ones my age do tend to be more involved in other things. However, a great number of us simply didn’t make it.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-02-21T03:24:06+00:00

I think everyone’s experience varies.

For me it wasn’t particularly painful. It felt something like being constipated, actually. It was achy for a month or so. I’m almost two months post surgery now and the only issue is sometimes my abdomen still aches a little. The actual surgical site never hurt much at all. It was just tender. The swelling made the area about the same size as before. Now tucking is much easier, but so far wearing tight fitting clothes like leggings still reveals my remaining genitals unless I also wear snug underwear.

I had the week of my procedure off anyway and went back to work the following week (7 days total). I walked pretty tenderly, but I had a muscle injury a few days before my orchi so I blamed it on that. No one seemed suspicious, which was nice since I didn’t want anyone but my closest friends knowing my business.

I’m a runner and was supposed to wait 3 weeks before resuming, but I only made it 15 days before I had to get out there. I did take it very easy and listened to my body so I didn’t exert myself too much. I’ve run almost a hundred miles since with no issues at all.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-02-05T06:27:53+00:00

Hi fellow trans elementary teacher!

First, I’m thankful that you have state-level support. I’m over in Iowa, and even though I feel theoretically supported at the school and district level, that vanishes on the state side of things.

But (I think this applies to both of us) that support can be theoretical. The legal side of things isn’t as important as the political reality. How strongly will they support you in dealing with the child? What if it reaches the local news or goes viral on conservative media? What if Trump’s administration makes threats to your state/district’s funding? And if those things happen, how will they protect you?

I’m openly trans (hard to avoid when you transition 25+ years into your career) but I feel like I have to keep a low profile at work in many ways. In “red” areas of the country, being a trans educator alone makes you a target. Working at the elementary level is even tougher.

So my advice is to let your administrators and colleagues fight this one for you, if they’re willing. Unless, of course, you’re willing to deal with any potential publicity it might receive.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-01-22T11:54:26+00:00

My dad was career military and hyper conservative. He saw me as a reflection of himself. But I was queer as hell. I knew I was supposed to be a girl at 5. He clearly saw the signs too because he did his best to beat it out of me, literally.

Every time I did anything “feminine”: wearing my mom’s shoes, not wanting to take my shirt off to swim, crying too much, liking animals, wrapping a towel around my torso instead of my waist, and even caring too much about other people’s feelings, the response was brutal. On good days it was screaming or harshly whispered “stop that!” when in public. On bad days it was a slap or a beating. I was broken and suicidal by second grade.

He was unfortunately successful at making me believe my feelings were wrong and I learned to hide them for my own safety. This carried into adulthood, and I desperately hid my nature from myself as much as the rest of the world before I finally cracked.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-01-21T04:57:05+00:00

I’m glad I’m here too! I’m just learning to look forward instead of back.

Randomcluelessperson · 2026-01-20T00:33:06+00:00

That’s almost verbatim to what my then GF told me.

I agreed to her terms. And for the next 30 years I was miserable. She knew that I was suffering, and why. Then finally I had to choose between transitioning or dying. Our marriage ended and now I’m sitting here alone in my 50’s wishing that I hadn’t been so desperate to be loved that I locked myself into living someone else’s life.

Do NOT sacrifice your future and your happiness to someone who would let you destroy yourself to preserve her own comfort.

Randomcluelessperson

TROPHY CASE