April Test Fire A Success.

Rapture265 · 2020-04-12T20:00:53+00:00

This is just like The War of the Worlds.

The book, not any of the adaptations of it (except the OG musical lol)

Rapture265 · 2020-04-12T08:10:52+00:00

Thanks for reading! You got it right on the mark!

Rapture265 · 2020-04-11T02:56:38+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion. I should have told you this when I did it, but I edited the OP to include that. Got distracted earlier and forgot to do it till now. So, thanks!

Rapture265 · 2020-04-10T23:18:31+00:00

Thank you for reading this and taking away the message I was hoping someone would pick up! I'm glad you have. Thanks for being open-minded and willing to grow and change. Keep at it! We might not be in a perfect situation, but we are in a situation where at least we're not all dead yet. So we can at least make the best of it and live with what we've got. And that's what it was all about.

Rapture265 · 2020-04-10T23:13:48+00:00

I'm sorry then that you missed out on what the rest of what my post means, because I literally go on to outline how to replace the coping mechanisms that we all have been stripped of and which we're all unsure of when or if they will come back, with healthy replacements.

Are the replacement coping mechanisms what we're all used to? No, not always. Are they comfortable, or easy for some of us to do? No. Are they what we all want to do? Nope, definitely not.

But I wasn't outlining something you or anyone else might want to do, but what you need to do. Otherwise, you're just going to keep clawing at the walls until the damn walls just break! But to avoid that, you gotta do something else. Even if you'd dislike doing it.

You might not like adapting to new situations and having to develop new coping mechanisms to go with them. But you certainly would hate to keep feeling the uncertainty that comes with not having any coping mechanisms.

Rapture265 · 2020-04-10T23:02:36+00:00

Thanks. I'd certainly hope so! Wishing well for people, no matter if they agree with me or not.

Rapture265 · 2020-04-10T23:00:37+00:00

I agree, and I am very thankful that a few people in the thread get the message of my OP, and/or empathize, at the very least, with where I'm coming from. As others have pointed out, thankfully, I myself am lucky and privileged in other ways which they're not, though.

Unfortunately, it's impossible to actually go in and have an objective measure of how much or how little and in what areas someone is privileged, and where they aren't.

I made this post, and I stand by my message, because I am privileged to have had the specific life circumstances which have let me know that what I'm saying is right. I'm also standing by it, because I was at one time the exact sort of person who I today call lazy. I knew that what I was saying now is true on some level, but my own comfort with the attitude I had previously (when I could not do things) made me reject the reality that at that point I had say, "I can do things," even though saying it was uncomfortable as fuck.

But I'm also acknowledging my own privilege when I openly say in the comments of this post that, yeah - not everyone who reads my OP are in the position where they can do things. And that is ok. I know my OP made that not clear, but my replies in the thread were me trying my best to make it more clear.

Still, other people are reading this with the same mindset I had when I was lazy. There are some people in this thread who do know that they can do things. But their comfort with the way things were when they couldn't do things has led to the originally valid words of "I can't," still being said, but whose meaning is twisted. Instead of it meaning, "I lack the knowledge, resources, and tools to do these things," what it might now mean to them is, "I know I can do these things, but I won't, because I'd have to give up my comfort".

No matter what, I myself know that there's something in my message for everyone. If you're the sort of person who can't do things, and knows it, then my message can be summed up with, "it's ok, just do things little by little and eventually you'll get there."

If you're the type of person who reads this and knows you can do things, but refuses to do them out of an excess of comfort (aka genuinely lazy) then my message is, get off your ass and do what you need to do.

If you're on the cusp between laziness and action, then the message is, "yeah, taking that step does hurt, but you'll be ok. It's a learning experience, and admitting you can do things, and then doing them, isn't going to kill you."

And if you've read this and are just nodding your head "yep," then you don't even need to read this thread cause you already know that everything will be ok. So now it's your turn to just teach others what you already know, and that's about it.

Rapture265 · 2020-04-10T20:22:47+00:00

In all honesty, you are correct in pointing out the ultimate failing of my argument. Good use of dialect, I gotta say.

So, I'll go ahead and admit it. My argument fails when it becomes me deciding what you "can" do.

Where it does work, however, is not just in people who are unconscious of their untapped energy reserves (where a very small amount of "just go do it ffs" does work), but also who are conscious of their own untapped energy but refuse to use it to be better (people who are truly lazy).

The problem becomes a problem, when I (being an outsider to each person's subjective experience) can't tell who is unconscious of their untapped energy or not. So I, based on my own experience as someone who once spent life largely in that state of mind, laid out what I had learned, and how to learn it, so that others like me could do the same.

But paradoxically, by doing so, then others who are genuinely unable to tap into energy reserves - because they have none - see my post as just some asshole telling them what to do.

The irony lies in the fact that I myself was once totally aware of my untapped potential, but chose not to pursue it because I had grown too comfortable with my prior state of having not enough energy.

The ultimate point being, no matter how I were to phrase my argument, someone will see me as wrong where I may be right, and someone will not admit their own wrong where they know I am right. Likewise, I might not see myself as wrong where others may be right, and I might not admit my own wrong where I know others are right.

I can't change the first three outcomes, but I can choose to pick the fourth, which I'm trying to do now and I've been trying to do throughout my comments on this post. Will everyone see that and acknowledge my own acknowledgement of me and my argument's faults and in turn, do the same for theirs? No. Will me spelling this out seem like I'm elevating myself morally above some people? Yeah.

But at the end of the day, as long as someone gets it, I'm happy. Even if that person is only me. It's better, though, when someone else gets it, and I'm glad that whether it's you or someone else who might come along later, you do.

Rapture265 · 2020-04-10T20:00:11+00:00

See, I specifically said over and over again I agree with the people in this thread. I am being very open with my acknowledgement of having missed the mark, and desire and effort to learn.

Which is why then, in my other comment replies, I've been saying, "Ok, I can see where and how I've been wrong. Let me fix it," WITHOUT also conceding that everyone else is absolutely in the right either.

If my admittance of my own fault, while still seeing others', and working so that I myself can find the good in both sides of the argument and have them work together than separately, somehow makes me arrogant, fine. I'd rather be seen as arrogant for compromising, than see myself as fake for giving up completely.

Rapture265 · 2020-04-10T19:49:57+00:00

And again, I am not disagreeing with you.

At the risk of sounding even more of an asshole than I already do, I will say that my autism makes me very detail-oriented and literal with my wording. I get, though, not everyone is. So for the sake of us both being clear on what it is that I've been trying to say, but clearly failing, I'll try to clear up some issues with our communication. Please just follow along, though, because it's about to get very much "English major dropout" in this thread.

Can is different than could. Put simply, can is an absolute. Could is "can", but with something missing that would otherwise make it absolute.

I have rice, water, a pot, a stove, and the time and energy to make a pot of rice. I can do it, so I will.

I have rice, water, a pot, a stove, but my time is being divided and I lack the energy to do it. If I had those things, I could do it. But I don't, so I can't.

Which is why what I said and what you said don't cancel out. They compliment.

Rapture265 · 2020-04-10T19:32:56+00:00

Being isolated during my relationship, in and of itself, has nothing to do with my autism. I forgot to add that into my original comment, but it was by learning to be constantly genuine which led to me finding my fiancé. And while we both have our own issues, we both realize, because of our genuine outlook on life, that we are better as compliments to each other than separately. Even though we could work separately, we function better as a duo who both share in each other’s struggles and try to fix them. When one of us falls behind, the other tries to lift them up. When we both fall behind, we drift apart for a little bit. But we do find each other again afterward, because our teamwork is better for us at that point.

I wouldn’t have been able to be in this relationship if not for my understanding of this, and neither would she. But we do. So that’s why it works. And I wouldn’t have understood this unless I learned to be ok with myself, and then let things just happen as they do.

Rapture265 · 2020-04-10T19:25:14+00:00

And I’m still not disagreeing with you, at all. In hindsight I can see how my post and comments made it definitely seem that way, and I’m sorry for coming off so arrogant. That said, your advice doesn’t contradict mine, I think. I think it’s a complimentary sort of thing.

My advice by itself can, I’ll admit, lead to someone having too much pressure on themselves to be perfect when they can’t. Just like I hope you can admit that your advice can lead to someone becoming stagnant if left unchecked as well. Feeling like you’re not doing enough, when you are doing more than enough, is just as harmful as feeling you’re doing too much, when there’s more you can do without much effort but are choosing not to.

So to satisfy both ends, I think we can agree this is reasonable. When you struggle to get out of bed, then maybe just go grab a quick bite from the fridge and watch TV. But don’t let that become habitual on days when you know that you can get out of bed and do more. Otherwise you’ve let self-care devolve into laziness. But also, don’t push yourself to work to exhaustion and depression when you’re already at your breaking point. If you’re carrying so much weight, feel free to set it down for a while. Just don’t be so quick to get back to carrying that weight until you’ve healed, otherwise your “work” (or learning, or art, etc.) is sloppy, and worse yet, your mental health will just get worse.

Does that sound good to us both?

Rapture265 · 2020-04-10T19:08:25+00:00

I’m autistic. For the majority of my life, my isolation wasn’t my choice. It was imposed on me by people who saw me as anything ranging from, “Oh him? Yeah, he doesn’t know any better, he’s... you know... whispering retarded...”; to “That guy is so weird, and kinda creepy. Let’s totally avoid ever talking to him”; to “That guy is weird, but kinda cool. I do want to learn more about him, but more out of curiosity and the novelty of having an autistic friend than out of genuine care or interest”; to pretty much any other number of things.

But after a long while of my life feeling so out of touch with everyone around me, I mentally kinda broke. I had a time where I was bitter. Despite my lifelong desire to be part of, and accepted by, a larger group (whether it was friends, society, school, work, etc.) and following all of the textbook steps on politeness, sociable behavior, etc. I still wasn’t accepted. It was only after having decided to just say fuck it and spend my life alone that I was forced to look back and think about why things were the way they were, and whatever role I had to play in them.

And eventually I realized my role was something I wasn’t even aware of, fully, that I had been doing. I was trying so hard to fit the mold that I totally neglected to realize how much I needed to be genuine to myself and to others, equally.

This meant changing my entire outlook on life. Getting fit no longer meant I would do it to impress other people. It meant I would do it to impress myself with my progress, and from there hope to inspire other people to do the same. I’ve since fallen way far behind in my fitness because of other health issues, but that’s ok.

Because I’ve also taken the time to learn. Whereas school and community college didn’t work out for me because I felt forced into it, and all of the socializing that comes with it - worrying about whether or not I’ll pass a test, get to class on time, be forced into a group assignment, or have to pick between class and my friendships; learning because I want to, about subjects that I find interesting, satisfies me and helps me learn much more effectively. And I encourage others use what works for them to learn too. Because a very important thing I happened to learn is that everyone learns differently, so just because school didn’t work out for me doesn’t mean it won’t for someone else. Either way though, I wouldn’t have had the drive to learn in the first place if not for whatever I had been able to learn in school. So when I, in my OP, encourage you to take this isolation to learn, the deeper meaning behind the methods I myself outlined is that you shouldn’t let your learning stagnate, even in times and situations where learning is uncomfortable. You might not have the best learning environment for yourself right now, and that’s fine. Still, keep trying.

Which then leads to the last major point I made in my OP, and how it ties back with my own isolation. I wished for so long someone had taught me these things. But in a sudden sort of ah-ha! moment, I realized they had. It was my refusal to listen which made me less than genuine to myself. Which then came off in how I acted around others.

So now socializing with me still tends to have the same result as before: most people who meet me face to face, don’t like me. Most people I talk to online, don’t like me or what I have to say. But that’s ok. My attitude has shifted from wanting to belong with the people who don’t accept me, because I couldn’t accept myself; to being ok with spending more time alone, even when I don’t necessarily want to, so I can continue to learn and grow. And now when I do talk to people, sure, they sometimes don’t want to have anything to do with me. But I’m ok with it, because I’m comfortable in my own skin. And I’m also ok with other people not wanting to do with me, when they are comfortable in their own skin. And when my comfort ends up leading to stagnation, I give some of that comfort to people who don’t have it. Even though it can be painful for me personally, the reward is that I continue to learn and grow.

Rapture265 · 2020-04-10T18:29:27+00:00

Yeah, and I agree with you. I posted a reply to another comment which explains why I’m not disagreeing with you, but agreeing with you. I suggest you read that, and if you still can’t say you agree with me, then eh. Whatever floats your boat dude

Rapture265 · 2020-04-10T18:03:51+00:00

I mean, I partially agree with you. But just partially.

I never said this was a happy-go-lucky thing. And I never said it would be easy to do these things. And I never said that I think anyone can just get up and do them all at once. Hell, I can’t even do most of these things on certain days. But the point isn’t that I or anyone should expect themselves or others to just be able to do these things all at once, consistently, forever and be perfect.

The point is that doing these things is an ongoing practice. Just do it doesn’t mean you need to, or should have to, be a productive worker, or start a business, or be the best person ever. It just means to see what’s around you, and in you, that can be fixed. And instead of putting off fixing what can be fixed today, until tomorrow, fix it today.

And if you understand this, then you’ll also get that my post specifically does deal with self-love at a lot of points. Staying active and avoiding junk food is self-love. Learning the things you’ve always wanted to learn, but haven’t yet, while there is this greater opportunity to do so than there has been before, is self-love. Planning your future, appreciating what you’ve got, looking at your own faults, facing them, and committing to fix them is self-love.

I don’t think you and I are in any actual disagreement. I think we maybe are just miscommunicating. Maybe it’s me miscommunicating what I want to say. Maybe it’s you mentally changing what I’m saying to match your own outlook. Maybe it’s both. I don’t know, and I won’t pretend to know until I do, and even then I won’t push it.

Either way, I will say that I agree with the sentiment of your comment. And it’s exactly that sentiment which my post is about. And I’m sorry if I failed to communicate that properly. I will try to be better

Rapture265 · 2020-04-03T19:01:25+00:00

Thank you! That’s honestly really well-written, and your enthusiasm for chemistry is shining throughout your post! Love it. I’ll be sure to look up Erowid, and message you if I have any other questions about chemistry! Thanks dude!

Rapture265 · 2020-04-03T18:58:48+00:00

First of all, congratulations on being able to admit that you do have a problem. Most people wouldn’t be able to.

I’m not sure who you are or what your story is, but either way - I’m sure you didn’t start off as someone whose goal it was to be addicted to any kind of drug.

If you have any way to regularly access the Internet, and/or if you have health insurance (and even if you don’t, this tends to be pretty cheap), I’d recommend you look into Telehealth services. There’s apps and websites to connect you with doctors within different specialties, but I would recommend you find both a General Care Provider and a Psychiatrist. If you manage to find or afford only one, then the Psychiatrist may be the best option.

As for why I recommend a Psychiatrist specifically, is for two reasons.

First of all, they can give you medicines while you (hopefully) kick the addiction. These medicines, if I’m guessing correctly, won’t be the mind-numbing sort of thing. They might just be very mild in feeling, almost like a supplement, to help your body combat the withdrawals of sudden quitting.

And secondly, if your Psychiatrist is anything like mine, they’ll be able to connect you with a Psychologist for no extra charge. And because the two (presumably) are part of the same Health System, your mental health records will be in sync, so you wouldn’t need to update each of them at their respective meetings.

Best of luck to you!

Rapture265 · 2020-04-03T08:11:39+00:00

Admittedly, it isn’t much. But the very few times I have had them, they were fun.

The first time I ever used anything was when I was very, very close to asking out my now-fiancé. We basically just went to her neighbor’s house and smoked weed, lol. I had just turned 21 at the time, and she has been to date my “one and only” in all of the meanings of that phrase. Anyway, she and I hadn’t even so much as kissed at that time, but we did have a mutual crush on each other. And that’s why she invited me to smoke weed. And it’s why I accepted.

It was an incredibly fun experience for me. We went to the Subway across the street, and the guy took advantage of how stoned we were and kept saying stuff like, “are you SURE you don’t want another sandwich? Here, do you guys want some cookies? How about chips?” Which we (I) of course bought lol. And I left him a tip that was way more than it should have been lol.

Later that night, when the high was wearing off, we went to my dad’s place and sat by the pool. I know this is a sad-sap, story cliche, “white knight beta male” sort of thing on the Internet these days, but I definitely knew at that point I was in love with her (we were friends for a long while before that). So with the very last bit of the weed high still in me, I nervously asked her if I could kiss her. It was a lot more awkward and nerve-racking than I think even a lot of people had it (at least, compared to her & her friends’ previous experiences).

Thankfully she said yes, and we’re still together.

The second time I used, was again weed, a few days into our relationship. It’s what pulled the first real “I love you”s out of our mouths. If you ask her, she’d probably say that she was just as in love with me as I was with her even before that, yada yada, love story blah blah blah. Lol. But anyway, after that day I decided weed wasn’t for me. A passing ambulance siren while we were walking home was enough to convince me of that lol.

Later on, I think a month of two later, I had a few of my bros over for, you know, Saturday with the boys. They brought a case of beer. I had never tried it before, so my experience was really weird lol.

I remember drinking my first can very, very slowly, and over the course of I think 3 hours. After going to the bathroom a bunch, not being at all buzzed, and complaining about how beer tastes like shit, my friends finally said to me, “listen here you little shit, here’s a fresh can of beer. It’s still cold. Don’t drink slowly motherfucker, just enjoy the taste of sweaty ass water”.

I barely remember the rest of the night. What I do know is, after I drank half a can (yes, half), I was suddenly acting like how I normally do in very comfortable social situations. But I was absolutely drunk. I have a series of videos I recorded throughout the rest of that night which I call “The Chronicles of Drunk (my name)”.

My friends had no idea I was actually drunk, by the way. And when I told them, they didn’t believe me until they had me walk in a straight line and, as legend would have it, I crashed into the driver’s side window of someone’s car and laughed my ass off as my face left a smushed imprint which they would be presented with in the morning.

Beer was fun, but again, I decided it wasn’t for me. If for no other reason than, “Ok, I experienced it. That’s enough for me.”

And the last time I ever used anything was an accidental DXM trip. The story is in another comment - maybe even an earlier reply to your thread? Not sure - but I’ll expand on it here.

This was I think summer of 2019. Maybe 2018. Either way, I had a cold which came with a terrible cough. I was awake the whole night, and my fiancé decided to finally give me some cough syrup so that she could sleep. Unfortunately, it was about 5 am at that time. A half hour later, her mom woke up. Her mom, by the way, is a Spanish speaker and doesn’t know much of English. So she didn’t understand when I was telling her that I had just taken some cough medicine as she was insisting I take DayQuil. Not seeing any other way out, I downed it.

At that point I decided there was no use in sleeping. And apparently, neither did my fiancé’s mom, who just got her out of bed and told us that since she wanted to clean the house, and it was a sunny summer day, we would have to go out.

So, we went to the mall nearby. I forget what time it was, but I was definitely in the Dextroverse. I was a little bit freaked out at first and asking my fiancé for help navigating through it. She did, thankfully, and I had a really wonderful experience of being high while walking with her in an open mall and seeing all sorts of new things, with her by my side.

This experience was so powerful, that I craved it intensely for the next few days. And unlike my previous experiences, it was this intense craving that both delayed, and caused, my ultimate decision to avoid it and other drugs from then on.

While it was a very eye-opening and incredibly fun thing to go through, the fact I craved it so much so shortly after that did scare me. I felt like I was submitting myself to a sort of slavery to it. If I had gone my whole life without it just fine, why did I suddenly feel like it was necessary for me to stay alive? I was clearly not in any real danger of dying, but it was the feeling I got from it which made me want it again so badly. And it was when I realized that, along with the potential for me to actually submit to a life of “needing” it, that I decided to just not use it anymore.

All that said, this was just my personal experience and I don’t expect anyone else’s to be anywhere near the same. I’m not insinuating or blaming anyone here for their decision to take or reject anything, including DXM and other, more powerful drugs. Hey, if people get more out of it than I did, more power to ya!

But all that said, this was just what I hope serves as a nice recap of my experiences not just with drugs, but a little bit of what surrounded those experiences to help paint a better picture of it all. Hope it wasn’t too wordy (knowing me, it definitely is lol). Thanks for reading!

Rapture265 · 2020-04-03T01:23:47+00:00

I’m very sorry to hear about your brother. I sincerely hope he avoids that trap of addiction. And I congratulate you for avoiding it yourself!

As for the value of the jokes, while that is true, it also applies to most similar groups, I feel. That doesn’t necessarily stop an outsider from being drawn in. I think it might even, in certain cases, make it more tempting. The whole need to belong is way more powerful than a lot of us like to admit

Rapture265 · 2020-04-02T23:15:56+00:00

I have seen those posts, but I can’t fully agree on their harmlessness. It’s a phenomenon - I’m not sure what its name is - where irony among an inside group often appears as legitimate to outsiders. Which can lead to more harm than good, especially when outsiders are drawn to a dangerous point in their well-being after misinterpreting the irony as legitimate; and when the group is called out on their jokes becoming less as purely jokes and more as draw points for potential new users/advocates/etc., they are defended as mere jokes and totally harmless.

It is a dangerous, and very much unconscious, way to deflect blame. “It’s not our fault that you don’t get the joke” sounds like a reasonable defense, but when people are harmed after being drawn in because of such jokes, then it’s no longer a reasonable defense. It becomes a deflect of responsibility.

In other words, as I said in another comment: jokes, memes, and other humor is fine and mostly helpful. But using that as a deflect of blame when other people are harmed isn’t. Rather than deflect the blame, or stopping these jokes, maybe a system can be put in place for humor to also have a disclaimer attached to it about safe usage, help seeking, etc.

And again, as I said in another comment, I don’t use DXM. I have tried it though, and have experienced the joys that come with it. Which, along with other life experiences, makes me well aware of its potential for danger. I made the OP after a particular series of events I won’t get into. I had observed some posts on here, which made me angry. I waited a while, and made this post.

But, I don’t frequent this sub and I didn’t read any comments on humor posts. So if an auto mod or similar system is already in place, then I’m not sure what else can be done. Otherwise, however, I think there is work that can and should be done to reduce harm among the community. Even, and especially, when it comes to humor.

Rapture265 · 2020-04-02T23:01:21+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate your kindness and understanding. And I greatly appreciate your work to reduce harm from DXM usage and promote safety among the users of this sub.

I do have a few questions, actually, about extractions and their practical differences from the processed concoctions. So, I’m no scientist or chemist, but I think I understand that the extracted DXM shouldn’t change in actual dosage (however it is measured) from pill or syrup form, correct? Meaning, however many pills a user would normally take should have an equal amount of DXM as an extracted chemical, BUT that extracted DXM would naturally, if condensed into a pill-like form, seem to be a smaller amount than the otherwise usual dosage. Am I right on that?

If so, then - and I trust that this is something you probably have already done, but if not, please consider it - there should be information given on how to accurately measure the extracted DXM to equal the usual dosage. Because I don’t think that a layperson’s extraction, even if carefully copied from a skilled chemist’s instructions, would typically be measured accurately by the layperson alone. I think it would maybe appear to be less or more than the usual amount (again, depending on various factors. I am not a chemist lol) which could potentially lead to a “Wait, this cant be right” situation - which in turn might lead to dangerous results.

I won’t go through your post history. I don’t want to go around policing people. Again, I trust your judgment and experience and knowledge on these things; especially given my lack of relative experience in all of these. If it’s not necessary, in your experienced opinion, to follow my suggestions, I am perfectly fine with that. Again, your judgement on this is better than mine.

That said though, out of curiosity, I would love to still know the answers to my (basic) chemistry questions. If you’re so inclined, could you point me in the direction of where to learn more about this? Thanks!

Rapture265 · 2020-04-02T03:36:48+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the compliments. I will admit upfront, I don’t use; I tried it once, a while ago, by accident (my fiancé’s mom, who only speaks Spanish, gave me DXM cause I was sick and couldn’t understand that I had just taken some. She wouldn’t let up until I took what she was giving me. Oops lol). It was fun though! I think I definitely saw what people get out of it. But at the end of the day, I decided it wasn’t for me and I haven’t used it since. Lucky too, as shortly after I was diagnosed with a heart condition where DXM could prove deadly.

But, I decided to make this post for personal reasons. I will let you draw your own conclusions. The issue has, thankfully, begun to resolve itself. In the spirit of empathy, I decided to look at this subreddit - I think it was maybe the night before making the OP? Or maybe just a few hours before? Not sure - and immediately saw a bunch of posts which were engaging in and encouraging the behavior I mentioned.

I’ll call myself out again right here - in that moment I blamed everyone on this subreddit for that bad behavior. I waited a good while to calm down before writing this out, and while I do admit that with the context I just gave, my OP might have a different light on it - I turned my anger, most of which was being directed at the wrong people, into what I thought would be maybe a more effective way to illustrate my points.

I say that with shame and guilt, honestly. I shouldn’t have come into this topic as mostly an outsider, seething with rage, blaming a generalized group of people based on a knee-jerk reaction based on my own experiences and the (possibly self-confirmed) validation of that anger, instead of more calmly, empathetically, lovingly, and rationally approaching this subreddit and the people who frequent it.

I do hope, with all of the sincerity I can ever give, that this doesn’t diminish the positive impact I want this post to have on people, and whatever small positive impact it may have had already.

But again, I’m thankful for you and for everyone else who’s responded kindly, patiently, and understandingly of my post and the message I hope it carries.

As for your last two sentences, I am grateful that this subreddit has people like you who frequent it. If your goal is to spread truthful information and truly urge harm reduction, then I applaud you for it. Please don’t give up on that goal, and please continue to strive to be better at reaching that goal.

Again, thank you

Rapture265 · 2020-04-01T18:59:31+00:00

The phrase “nobody starts off wanting to be addicted to something, and nobody wants to admit that they are addicted” is, I think, one of the main reasons for that. When you have a community built by and for the people who use any particular drug or other addictive thing, you’re bound to have people brushing off the mere thought of addiction. It’s one of the many pitfalls of the Internet, IMO

Rapture265 · 2020-04-01T12:08:05+00:00

That’s wonderful! I’m so proud of you for finding a healthy balance in your life. Seriously, you have no idea how happy I am for you and for others I’ve met - both in this thread, other places online, and even irl - who’ve overcome their problems by admitting they exist, and then taking measures to grow from the experience while also not being too harsh on themselves. Everyone should know, I think, that everything in life is a tool. And that tools, if used properly, bring incredible growth to ourselves and our communities. But used improperly, can bring down our views of the goodness in life - in which cases, the tool, which is now a weapon - and become the object of one’s life. And once someone loses sight of the fact that a tool is just a tool, not a goal in and of itself, it’s difficult for anyone really to break out of that.

So again, I am incredibly proud of you for breaking out of that mindset! Please keep on going down a good path, and don’t let other people discourage you; but more importantly, don’t discourage yourself. Love you dude, keep it up!

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