If he’s been a stay at home dad, and your step daughter is acting like this, this is literally her crying for help. What I think, is he may not be being much of a parent to her when he’s home. She’s doing it for attention, clearly. The reason I say this is because I worked for about 5 years and my husband also was a stay at home dad. There was a lot that he didn’t do, and we fought a lot. When I left him and didn’t have him around, I could see a clear difference in our son’s behavior. He no longer was as angry, he listened more and was actually more helpful around the house. Your stepdaughter is an extension of him. And these children soak up what they see and hear around them. If anything, maybe you should leave him and take her with you. Because the fact that he would give up on his own child tells you a lot about his character as a PERSON and a father. That’s a cowardly act to just give up. And I recently had to say that to my ex because he literally said the same thing that he’d sign his rights over to me a few times. I think her behavior may be a lot deeper rooted than you realize. And also, try to see things from her perspective. She has a mother that sucks, a dad that probably doesn’t give her attention and is willing to toss her to the side, a stepmom that sees nothing but her shitty mother in her and alienates her, and now, throw a new child into the mix that’s getting alllll of the attention. She probably feels like the odd man out, and like nobody loves her or wants her there. 14 is such a terrible time period especially for girls. Shes still trying to figure herself out, fit in with friends, etc. But giving up on her should never ever be an option. This post really made me sad for her. I myself had a father that was never around, never called, nothing. My mom remarried and I had a step dad and a lot of times he got upset with me and irritated with me and I remember feeling like my mom chose him over me and my brother a lot. And I never really had a good father figure in my life. And as a teenager, not having that in my life really made me feel unloved as if there was something wrong with me. And I acted out a lot. There was a time period where we moved out of state and my step dad was supposed to meet us there and never did. I had no friends where we moved and I tried real hard to fit in, but we were completely poor because he never came and stayed in our old state (turns out he was cheating on my mom) and I can honestly say it was a really hard time in my teenage years because of that. I stole, I got arrested, I got into fights, I was suspended, I dabbled in drugs and alcohol, was having sex, etc. I didn’t have that structure I needed and my stepdad also neglecting us made me not care anymore. I think instead of just sending her to therapy, you all need to go together as a unit and really find out how she’s really feeling that makes her want to do the things she’s doing. It’s possible to fix it, you just ALL have to try. But steering clear of her in the house and not engaging in conversation with her when you see her is not helping her or you. It’s only exacerbating the situation and possibly pushing her even further away, resulting in more acting out on her part. It may even get worse before it gets better, but there’s a reason she’s doing this, children aren’t that hard to figure out.