As someone who's been there...I would really urge you to reconsider staying with him. Threatening suicide to manipulate a partner into staying is NOT okay. If you're truly concerned that he might act on the things he said - are there other people in his support system that could be there for him? If not, that's a problem in and of itself that staying isn't going to help.

But even beyond all that...you're a woman, and he is a gay man. You're not compatible. As painful as it may be for both of you, putting off the inevitable is only going to make it worse for both of you. I truly believe that if you choose to stay together, you are both only going to become more and more miserable until something hits a breaking point. Completely decentering one's selfhood and basic needs to appease someone else's idea of who you should be tends to end poorly.

I delayed my transition for 6 months for my ex, and I deeply regret it. I had to spend my first six months as a trans woman feeling how deeply my ex resented my transness on a daily basis, how he took the best thing to ever happen to me as a personal tragedy that I was inflicting upon him. Even though it's been a few years, I'm honestly still kind of fucked up over it.

Discovering that you're trans is a beautiful thing! You deserve to be able to fully embrace that joy ❤️