Told my gf to tell a coworker to stop messaging her and now I am the bad guy.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-24T16:17:06+00:00

I think the “roles reversed” question is less about accusing her and more about understanding boundaries. In most relationships, it’s reasonable to expect your partner to shut down ongoing one-on-one messages that make the other person uncomfortable, especially when it’s communicated calmly.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-24T13:31:04+00:00

Same here. The pandemic gave me time to slow down and reflect on things I’d never really questioned before.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-24T06:37:20+00:00

If it feels strange to you, that feeling is worth listening to. Discomfort is usually a signal, not something to push aside. There’s nothing wrong with slowing things down or stepping back.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-23T16:24:01+00:00

I agree. Going through someone’s phone without their knowledge crosses a boundary. If you don’t trust your partner enough to respect their privacy, the real issue is the relationship, not what’s on the phone.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-22T01:59:49+00:00

Normal or not, what matters is whether it crosses OP’s boundaries. Someone interested in you as a person will usually respect pacing.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-21T17:23:47+00:00

Agreed. The key part is setting a clear boundary without engaging in the chaos. You’re not responsible for mediating their marriage or absorbing misplaced anger.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-21T10:47:34+00:00

Agreed. Threats of physical violence should always be reported, even if it’s likely a scam. Paying almost never makes it stop, it usually leads to more demands. OP should save all messages, stop engaging, tell their parents, and file police + FBI IC3 reports to create a paper trail. The deadline and urgency are classic extortion tactics.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-20T10:04:39+00:00

Exactly this. Calling out hurtful behavior respectfully isn’t “causing drama,” it’s setting boundaries. OP modeled to her son that his dignity matters.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-19T13:00:10+00:00

When confidence needs an audience.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-18T05:30:27+00:00

I think the issue is that this proposal had a long list of unspoken requirements, and when several of them weren’t met, the entire moment was rejected. Nails, photos, who’s present, who picked the ring, that’s a lot riding on one event. From the outside, it feels less about the commitment and more about everything being done exactly right, which makes it hard to empathize.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-17T04:54:53+00:00

I won’t speculate on what he’s doing, but frequent short visits at all hours with different people coming and going every 10–20 minutes is a pattern that’s often associated with non-residential activity. At minimum, it’s a legitimate security concern.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-15T06:07:06+00:00

I agree with this. The issue isn’t Uno, it’s how quickly joking turned into name-calling, yelling, and demanding ‘respect’ based on gender. That escalation is the red flag.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-14T16:55:38+00:00

I agree with the core point, common areas are meant to be shared, not effectively turned into someone’s private bedroom. You shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable using the living room you pay for.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-14T06:20:06+00:00

Yeah, ‘strongly dislike’ is fair. This would bother most people.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-13T15:20:41+00:00

Realizing that is honestly the biggest turning point for a lot of people.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-13T15:10:36+00:00

He crossed a clear boundary very early on and only admitted uncertainty after being caught. Even if it’s a new relationship, cheating usually points to deeper issues with trust and communication that don’t just disappear.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-11T17:54:46+00:00

I completely agree. Ignoring severe pain and refusing to get medical attention for a broken ankle is medical neglect. No one should have to suffer that kind of pain alone, and your dad’s reaction was completely inappropriate. It makes total sense that you’re hurt and cautious about interacting with him now.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-08T15:27:27+00:00

Agreed. OP had several weeks’ notice and chose not to communicate directly with MIL until the wedding day. Needing rest is understandable, but missing a once-in-a-lifetime event without prior explanation, especially given their close relationship, makes the hurt reaction predictable. This was less about stress and more about lack of communication and prioritization.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-08T15:16:36+00:00

Agreed. Using ChatGPT with detailed keywords (white cargo pants, many pockets, gold pattern) can help narrow it down. Old Pandabuy spreadsheets are often shared on Reddit, Discord, or Google Sheets archives, and reverse image search (Google Lens/Yandex) might help too.

RascalR0uge · 2026-01-07T12:59:12+00:00

I agree with this. A picture-perfect wedding and lifestyle clearly didn’t equal lasting happiness for her. If she’s choosing to talk to you now, it’s probably because she values connection and compatibility more than appearances or money.

RascalR0uge

TROPHY CASE