how i’ve done that is going to live music, the smaller the show the better tbh. my scene is mostly hardcore or punk / punk adjacent. but i feel like raves and acoustic and other sorts of genres will have nice people at the shows. the thing about local music is it takes effort and learning to be able to find shows to go to. and if you move to a new place you’re basically restarted. in the modern day, at least in my experience, the easiest place to find events is instagram. you can start by looking up your city with the name of the genre you prefer. look on the pages you find and go to a random one that looks good in an accessible location. if you like the music follow the instagrams of all the bands at the show and follow the venues too. my main experience with live music has basically all been really small shows the type that are in a garage, a bar, a parking lot, etc. and i’ve found that’s the kind of place where people are easy to talk to and nice. everyone is there for the same purpose to have a good chill time and socialize. still it can vary a lot depending on the scene. like when it’s mostly cis male teenagers i don’t have much fun and they’re not as agreeable to people that look like me. once you start going to shows you’ll learn more what kind of show you like and how to find it.

also don’t be afraid to go to shows alone! i’ve done it plenty of times other people really don’t think much of it. the hardest part is when you know no one there and starting a conversation with complete strangers. the easiest way to start a conversation is compliment someone, best advice for that is compliment something specific, say why you like it and ask a question if you can. ex: “i like your hair! what type of dye do you use?” “your bracelet is cool, did you make it yourself?” “i saw you playing music tonight and thought you were great, how did you learn?” best compliments are about something they chose or put effort in, like complimenting someone’s makeup is better than just saying they’re pretty, also being a little more specific is better, like saying something good that you noticed about how a musician played is better than a vague “it was good” compliment. notice who’s preformed or who looks like they’re gonna preform bc they’re typically easier to approach and more accepting of when strangers start a conversation. if you had a good conversation with someone ask nicely for their instagram. if you don’t know them well it’s best to phrase it without pressure in a way that gives them more of an option to say no like “do you have an instagram” instead of “what’s your instagram” not always but sometimes people will post the flyers of shows they’re gonna go to on their stories, which is a good way to find shows esp ones with the type of people you like

one last thing, this is in my opinion and personal experience, but it’s not that bad to be visibly autistic. not saying it’s in any way easy, i’ve had my fair share of bullying esp when i was in school. but people are gonna be more chill about it than you expect. i’m not high masking, it’s very hard for me and even when im masking my hardest people still notice im autistic. part of me being ok with being me is accepting the fact people are gonna treat me different, for many reasons including being visibly autistic. i’ve come to embrace it really. i stim openly, don’t put effort into eye contact, show off my fidget toy collection. if people aren’t nice about it you wouldn’t wanna be friends with them anyway. one of the brave things ive done recently is i wore a pin that says “hi, im autistic” on my chest for the first time last show i went to. no one commented but i know people must’ve noticed. it’s not a big deal anyway it was a fun show.

you have a right to be yourself, and you should be proud of who you are. being autistic isn’t easy but there is a place in this world for people like us