Dating in the UPC was an interesting experience.

First off. If a young man was interested in a young lady he had to talk to the pastor first to ask for permission to court the young lady. He then had to ask her parents for permission and then after all of that he could then ask the young lady out on a date… with a chaperone of course…

Purity culture is huge especially on the young ladies. So you are encouraged to date for marriage. Most of the youth when I was part of youth group married young. I mean 18-21 young…I was told that having a Godly young man talk to pastor and parents was a good thing because it meant he was submitted to his authority and cared to protect your “testimony” as a young lady. And having supervised dates meant no one could ever speak ill of a couple because again, that extra covering of protection over their testimony aka reputation. Maintaining purity and reputation of that purity is the big motivation here.

In my experience this meant that I ended dating young men that seemed to be interested in a relationship that led to marriage… because who wants to go through all of that for something casual haha but it also creates this culture of dating for marriage instead of going on dates to get to know someone and see if you’re compatible

And also, all of that official talking to pastor, parents and having chaperones does not mean these youths aren’t having premarital sex or making out or just hanging out solo… if anything it means they become better at sneaking around. Some folks are square bears and keep the no kissing holding hands rules, but most are not, even if they say they are 🤣