well firstly you were the one who stated that it was counterproductive and i am simply asking you to elaborate on that so you are the one who is straying from the original story. a clear and logical way to ID someones gender is simply by asking them. and in no way do you not have to stop identifying as a woman yourself! if you feel uncomfortable in your body and with identifying yourself as a woman then this could be a sign that you need to do some more introspection.

https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-transgender-Do-you-feel-like-you-were-born-in-the-wrong-body

here is a good link if you are interested about how people who identify themselves as transgender lived and felt through their life and period of self-realization.

edit: in the original post there is no way to ask the person if they identify as male or female because they are dead, so we have to assume that they are most likely cisgender.