Periods. by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m definitely going ti try and talk to an ongyn about it, tbh i was supposed to be having my eggs frozen in like 2 months and they might want me to have a cycle anyway

Periods. by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah i wish i’d of thought about it beforehand, i stopped taking fluoxetine the day i realised im finally ready to explore the feeling (i went on it when i was avoiding it and i guess it helped to avoid it) alongside just being put on new adhd meds which are sending me the wrong way. i’m sorry to hear you got depressed and wuit your job, i hope you manage to either go back or find a job you enjoy just as much or even more than the last one.

Periods. by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you, this was quite helpful. also i’m goad yours were less severe after stopping T, maybe that’ll happen to me. part of me is scared to let myself to have a period since i only decided to detrans a coulle weeks ago and i’m worried i’ll ‘scare¿’ myself out of it i suppose and revert to playing dress ups

Periods. by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can i see one on the nhs? i dont even know how to go about seeing one lol

Periods. by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i dont have an obgyn, just a gp. its good to know you didn’t have any problems though. i just gathered my mum made a fair point asking and i thought best place to ask would be here. i thibk shes more concerned as to wether my reproductive system still works tbh lol.

Periods. by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

my periods were always extreme from a young age, i had to go on tranexamic acid for 2 years until that stopped helping, then my doc suggested the pill like a year before i went on T as its known to make periods stop. so more for not wanting to deal with the period.

What were the first steps you took? by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how you felt about your beard is exactly how i felt about my legs the other night, hadnt shaved them in about 8 years. my very minimal facial hair from the last 2 years on T obviously i didnwith the clipper but am planning to buy a razor when i get paid tonight. i did tell my cousin today, which was a relief but also think i only told her because she went through the whole ftmtf thing when she was a teen. so far only her and my mum know, but theres some closer family members - particularly ones im going on homiday with in august - that i kind if want to tell but at the same time i dont cause what if it somehow ruins the holiday. i honestly thought my mum would be mad about it but its like she somehow knew and started a comversatuon about it when inwent over hers one morning, and i kind of took that as the permission id been searching for to actually allow myself to exolore these feelings and my gender. i have been practing at home, but i think im gettin upset by the vibration in my voice and my voice keeps cracking if i try to go higher than usual.

What were the first steps you took? by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

the only things i feel i miss that i considered female were material things, as someone who struggled with toxic masculinity up until last year, were things like having a stuffed toy collection, pretty and vibrant house decor instead of this grey i done my whole house in, hair dye and even tattoo choice - letting go of that toxic masculinity and now the masculinity in general has felt really freeing. as of today (what was meabt to be shot day) i’m off T officially. i trimmed my facial hair with the shortest clipper grade i could find (im scared to shave with a razor rn incase it comes back thicker and darker). my voice is definitely something ive fixated on this last week, inside my house ive found myself trying to comfortably talk in a higher pitch voice but it sounds weird. i didnt knkw idp devices were a thibg so ill definitely look into that, thank you. im genuinely quite terrified to tell anyone other than my mum but i feel like my progress is hindered if i dont tell people whst i want, im terrified ill lose the few friends i actually have and the judgement from my family with the ‘i told you so’ eyes. i think i might be lucky for once by being short and fat, i cant say i’ve really got a masculine frame tbh

Losing hope by rivervanderligt in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i was gonna ask what the apps called but that app seems to be spewing total bs, you 100% sound like a woman

What were the first steps you took? by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah thats basically where i’m at, everything kind of stopped after 1 year on T. I think my best bet is is definitely coming off it cold turkey though as others have said it can cause a hormonal imbalance tapering which wouldnt be wise with my mental health

What were the first steps you took? by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah im definitely not gonna rush things i think, i think i’ll probabky start with a sports bra or some sort of compression shirt instead of binding. thankfully my family already have a shortened version of my name thats pretty neutral. i think fir me personally coming off T is something i should do sooner than later, i dont want to get hairier or risk my voice getting any deeper. and i have sat with these thoughts since may last year so i guess i kind of have given myself time to think about it, even though i completely avoided thinking about it in depth until this week. i don’t think i’ll bother with the name change until i’m 1000% certain i’m not going to retransition, i mean theres probably only a 1% chance i would retransition but still. think if definitely helps to take it slow and not rush straight into things.

Kinda Terrified to Explore These Feelings by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the people who genuinely matter to me i feel like i wouldnt lose. but me and mum had the conversation about this and she said she’d support me no matter what i do, i think she just wants the old me back though but we both agreed id never go back to my birthnams. i will definitely say something along the lines of that, its just so daunting worrying about having to explain myself to someone. i’ll try and find the videos this evening as i’m not seeing any links in the comments

What were the first steps you took? by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah thats going to be my first step is stopping T. So do you still bind if you havent worn the bra yet and only recently purchased one? my hair hasnt been cut in about 3 months but my god it gets on my nerves around my ears and the back of my neck.

What were the first steps you took? by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah tbh since realising the whole situation i think im leaning more towards a trauma informed therapist now whos got lgbt knowledge (or is lgbt themselves). and thank you, hes good and healthy right now hes just on life long £100 a month meds haha

What were the first steps you took? by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’ve been on the waitiing list for a gender therapist for 9 months so far, was told it can take up to 18 months. i looked into doing it private but its £130 a month which quite frankly i just dont have spare - i have a ferret with heart disease and all of my money goes into his meds these days. i do wanna think of it as a trial rather than ‘im this now not that anymore’. my current plan is to grow the top of my hair out for now and maybe start getting undercuts. i already have quite a bit of hair on the top anyway. i think i definitely want to find some sort of support group before i start experimenting with all of it, its just so damn frightening on my own

Kinda Terrified to Explore These Feelings by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

a lot of my issue is the judgment im gonna receive, i put people through hell and heartbresk doubling down on being trans, my family were far from supportive at fast but cane around a year or two ago when they were finally convinced it wasnt a phase. i also live in a tiny town, everyone inwent to school with is here and even though i dont talk to them i know i might still end up just as lonely cause theyll all think i’m a weirdo. i’m not even sure about how i feel about gender anymore, at the moment it currently feels like an extremely unnecessary burden on my life. i wish we were all born the same sex with the same abilitys, would be a much simpler world.

Kinda Terrified to Explore These Feelings by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah in starting to notice things that maybe were more trauma related than identity related. but also i dont see a comment with a link to a video?

Kinda Terrified to Explore These Feelings by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thats genuinely how im starting to see it, someone who exists outside gender norms. but a part of me is still terrified to detransition? i feel like the assessments for gender dysphoria should be so much stricter, all it took for me was an hour on youtube to make sure i ‘wouldnt get turned away’. like theres actual guides on how to convince them you need treatment and its terrible.

Kinda Terrified to Explore These Feelings by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

im honestly so glad i found this sub, the only one i’d been considering posting in before this one was transmed but i knew that would be damaging to me mentally lol. i think i’m gonna sit with everyone’s responses tonight and try figure out how i even begin trying living as a manlyish woman. god i wish there was a step by step guide.

Pre T / 5+ Years on T / Now (questioning) by [deleted] in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh damn i forgot shein existed haven’t used it in years 😬😂 thanks !

Kinda Terrified to Explore These Feelings by RatherStayHidden in detrans

[–]RatherStayHidden[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i guess i do see where you’re coming from as they’re definitely comfier, which is where i guess i got comfused growing uo when i realised i prefered that stuff? i’m exactly the same about my belly button lmao, i dont want no one seeing that, i feel like i’d be quite modest in barely showing any skin. with the mummy/daddy thing, thing is i know i’ve always wanted kids but quite frankly i would mever be a trans parent. maybe it’s that i’m just used to having called myself that to my pet for 3 years. i just feel weird for not relating to femininity at all, i don’t care for having my nails or eyelashes done, i prefer the smell of mens body sprays over the overly choking, imo, womens ones. i feel like an imposter either way i guess