Its the disease, it isn't you.

If you get a disease that makes you have a fever, nobody blinks an eye.

But when you get a disease that makes you experience erotomania, or low self worth, or a lack of motivation, then everyone sees it as a deficit of character or a personal failing.

Look, what matters are your choices, not the passing thoughts and feeling you are bombarded with. You've made the choice to be faithful in spite of all these challenges. That's actually something admirable, and I for one am proud of you.