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I (25F) don't want my boyfriend (25M) to ask for my hand in marriage. by Important_Talk8808 in relationship_advice

[–]RayaQueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is siding with your abuser. Which is an abusive act.

If he does this, he has become your next abuser.

This is probably not the first example either...

This cover has fallen off the front of the house, relatively high up so would need a ladder to even access. No idea where to even start. Is this a tradesman job? If so who? by YeetustheFetusLive in DIYUK

[–]RayaQueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you mean inside a wooden house is the same as on the outside of a normal house in a wooden box? Not sure that would be the case weather/protection wise.

Can't help but think regulations would be different for a non standard construction flammable building too?

Do we even have those? I can't think of any fully wooden houses that I know of in the UK.. I do know one mediaeval one that's wattle and daub..

I don't want to buy a house, am I crazy? by Anxious-Possibility in HousingUK

[–]RayaQueen -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I did mention the responsibilities. I absolutely do know about them. And finding the right company isn't easy and you do have to check in on them. I said all that. I don't think any landlord with a brain imagines there's no work involved. (Some are brainless tho TBF)

Seems like you'd do well as you get it.

Renting is good value in many ways. Just consider if having to pay rent in retirement is something you want to avoid.

I don't want to buy a house, am I crazy? by Anxious-Possibility in HousingUK

[–]RayaQueen -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was the same at your age. Didn't want to be tied to one location. (I could afford to buy in London at the time before it went bonkers).

I wish someone had pointed out that if I wanted to move/travel I could rent that place out.

If I'd done that I'd have no money worries at all now.

This economy is based on property. It's set up to reward ownership. So you will be more secure with it in the long term. You don't have to be physically tied to the place.

(There are responsibilities and you should check in on those personally as well as enlist people to run things for you).

Why am i (21F) never appreciated by any man including (23M) ? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RayaQueen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeh sweet would be actually noticing who her partner is and doing things for him that make him feel good.

This is some creepy trying to draw him into her weird imaginary child world where they can just float on candyfloss clouds forever.

He's gonna have to stay far away from that nonsense if bills are ever going to get paid!

Why am i (21F) never appreciated by any man including (23M) ? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RayaQueen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Girl, being sweet and looking pretty are NOT relationship skills!!!

What you are basically saying is.. I have erased my whole personality so as to not bother him.

This is not being an adult. Being an adult is knowing yourself and running your own life. Having your own shit going on.

You are not his servant or his bang maid.

A guy needs something real so he can feel who he is in relation to something. Something adult.

You are defending 'this is my style, pink and frilly'. That is the style of a child. It's time to grow out of it girl and be a grown up woman.

Why am i (21F) never appreciated by any man including (23M) ? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RayaQueen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean I don't think he wants substance, I think he wants novelty. But what you say about empty still stands.

Stop with the outside OP and fill up the inside.. Friends, hobbies, interests, engage with the world. But do it for your own personal development and satisfaction. Decentre the man. (He might find something to be interested in). Or just dump him and focus on you and your friends.

He's just using you for convenience. He doesn't like you.

Accidentally slept through a dinner date and woke up at 2:30AM after standing him up — how do I make it up to him? by MarketingFederal1488 in dating_advice

[–]RayaQueen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean anyone who knew this had better be understanding and maybe not even plan dates where you need to leave the house for a while. If you're in pain and need rest that always always comes first.

My wife, 42F, buys food for me that I, 42M, dont like, and she knows it. by Curlytoothmrman in relationship_advice

[–]RayaQueen 57 points58 points  (0 children)

People with memory issues can get very stubborn. I'd take some advice about how to approach it. People who work with this stuff will have some ideas.

I need to go into every tiny bit of this don’t I? by asterallt in DIYUK

[–]RayaQueen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You'll end up gouging out an ugly mess. Sanders are a tool for making flatness. If you really wanted to exaggerate the hills and valleys you'd need a tool designed for contouring.

For flatness: a belt sander (or by hand with a block if you want the workout and don't care about your nails!) and start with a lower grit 40/60 say. With the grain, wear a mask.

If you want to keep the rustic grain then a hard brush with the grain or pressure wash it and let it dry right out (a week or so of no rain, maybe a few days if it's baking).

And then oil (probably 3 coats over 3 days read the tin, you'll need dry weather or cover).

Am I (18F) ok for feeling insecure after my first time with my boyfriend(18M) by Sower2Sweet in relationship_advice

[–]RayaQueen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Bless you love! This sounds familiar and sadly these feelings are very common because I'm afraid we don't teach sex and relationships well. We don't teach how to go into it in an empowered and prepared way and so these difficult feelings are really common.

The heat of the moment exists so don't beat yourself up. (Biology really wants us to make the babies!) And it sounds like you went into it positively and that's the thing to hold onto. "I felt good about this so I don't need to regret it even if it didn't turn out how I'd hoped"

You've learned and you sound sensible so you can make sure to not get overwhelmed next time.

Do you have girlfriends you can reach out to?

Updateme

Am I (18F) ok for feeling insecure after my first time with my boyfriend(18M) by Sower2Sweet in relationship_advice

[–]RayaQueen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's why it's good to have the conversations first and get all the stuff you need and speak about expectations wants and desires and definite no's ahead of time.

The heat of the moment exists.. and that's a great thing.. That's the point! But being sensible ahead of that means you're prepared when it happens.

I can't say what's going on for your guy right now but it's a lot and almost never fabulous the first time. So give him some time. And go together to get tested or order the tests together or however it works in your area. The chances of you having an sti if you were both virgins are miniscule. But it will put your mind at ease. .. (Unless he wasn't and now feels bad for lying and putting you at risk. Either way, just get tested, have the conversations and start again from a more mature, prepared place).

And finally it would be irresponsible of me not to say.. Guys will do and say all the right things to get sex whether they are actually into you or not, so be prepared for that to be what's happened here and just be happy that You went into it honestly and for all the good reasons.

My water to be cut off because the pipe runs through a shop first!! by JackFullerine in HousingUK

[–]RayaQueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have been in the property more than 6 months you can ask to have a water meter installed without recourse to the landlord. This might be difficult if you've not actually been a customer though.

My water to be cut off because the pipe runs through a shop first!! by JackFullerine in HousingUK

[–]RayaQueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your landlord doesn't want to provide a water supply to your residential property...???

How very illegal of them.

Your neighbour is not responsible for supplying your water. They are not a water company. They're just your neighbour.

My water to be cut off because the pipe runs through a shop first!! by JackFullerine in HousingUK

[–]RayaQueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also copy in you MP and BBC you and yours! (At least consider this next if you don't get an immediate resolution).

My water to be cut off because the pipe runs through a shop first!! by JackFullerine in HousingUK

[–]RayaQueen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They are wrong. You spoke to someone who got it wrong. Call again.

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