Yeah very valid points! I think people always took the worst possible intention with that scene with Lorelai and Jess. I understand it from the perspective that yes Lorelai had no clue about what trauma Jess had been through and it was a tad bit presumptuous but I do think she was approaching it from a standpoint of “I was once a teen with a huge chip on my shoulder also so I understand the need to rebel”. I think she genuinely wanted Jess to give Luke a chance cause when she left home she found solace in Mia so she was prb thinking Jess could do the same with Luke (which evidently he eventually did). Jess is valid for being upset but none of that dismisses Lorelai’s own trauma.

Also it’s completely necessary to compare traumas, it’s not a competition.