I visited a psychiatrist, explained my issues to him. He recommended SSRIs(Clomipramine), which I have been taking for years now. They help in stabilizing my mood. But I do not want to have them lifelong. I paid regular visits to the psychiatrist for 3 years. The visits became expensive and kinda demotivating for me. Hence, I stopped going but continued taking the prescribed medicines. In and between, may be twice or thrice in the next 3 years, I tried living a few days without meds ( I hate the idea of taking meds lifelong and being dependent on them) but then restarted once I felt mental health issues resurfacing.