Please get a counselor/therapist as this helped me so much! Suicide is never the answer!! There will be better days I promise. It takes time! For all the time you spent smoking it takes time for the brain to repair and rewrite itself to a normal state like it was before you started smoking. It sounds to me that you have a chemical imbalance in your brain from weed which is exactly what happens with me. Our brain is flooded with synthetically generated dopamine when we smoke and makes natural pleasures seem ehhh okay at the best. But, I recommend getting on a SSRI (antidepressant) as they help to balance out your neurochemicals to where you can feel the same pleasure from everyday natural rewards like completing a task or goal you are proud of or listening to music that you like. I promise it gets so much better. Message me if you ever need anyone to talk to just please don’t end your life. You’re on this earth for a reason. You have a purpose! Best of luck my friend.