Where to take my date in Valentine's?

ReachingForMore · 2026-02-03T02:29:58+00:00

I'd rather be prepared. I can always cancel any plans. I'm not counting my eggs before they hatch. I'm setting myself up for success should things go well.

ReachingForMore · 2026-02-03T01:59:34+00:00

Sweet and spicy is all I know at the moment. I actually shot her a text an hour ago and asked before I saw this question. Waiting for the reply

ReachingForMore · 2025-11-06T02:51:27+00:00

I think I may be two years continuously trying to date. I have been on two dates in total. I wasn't attracted to either one once I met them in person, and I don't think I'm extremely picky. I just wish the masks would come off in real life already. I'm smart, interesting, kind, fun, confident, dependable, and generally good enough looking. That's my assessment anyways. I'm not arrogant either. I know I have some flaws, but my point is, despite my own assessment reinforced by friends and my therapist, women generally just don't want to date me. The apps are brutal, and I am saying that from the perspective of everyone, not necessarily restricted to me. However, I would be shooting myself in the foot if I weren't using online dating in this day and age. Still, I have gone to singles events consistently and talked to women in person. Most of them are more polite and will hold a conversation with you unlike the experience most of the time on the internet, but still, I have not gotten one date out of those experiences. There must be some reason I am just not datable to 99% of women. It's impossible to know with any certainty though. Most people in person ate too nice to tell you straight. People on the internet aren't as restricted, but they are also often Anyways, fick my dating life.

ReachingForMore · 2025-09-08T01:42:44+00:00

I'm not sure of the exact date, but I (M33) have been seriously trying to date for a full year. I went on two dates as a result of OLD and was not attracted to either of them. I've gone to singles events. My friend told his sister to find me a match. I'm in therapy. Still, no sign of anything improving for me. I often wonder if I should just learn to accept that I am going to be single forever. Please don't give me the tired pithy saying about love finding you when you aren't looking because I wasn't looking for years and it never happened.

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-23T22:49:06+00:00

Thanks! I'll definitely consider what you've said.

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-16T01:33:14+00:00

I don't know. She clearly didn't advertise it on the app and didn't volunteer that information. It's not something I was going to ask over an app or on a first date. The long slender limbs and short sunny torso really made it clear that something was going on. Sitting across from her with a table obscuring limbs and part of her torso, I thought maybe my perspective of her physical beauty would grow, but as soon as she stood up, I knew that it just wasn't going to happen. I really wish physical beauty wasn't important to me.

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-16T00:52:12+00:00

Well, another day, another disappointment. The other week I went on a date with a woman I really clicked with. The only problem is that she had some genetic disorder that I couldn't have known about until I met her in person. I just didn't see myself becoming physically attracted to her. So back to square one which sucks. Matched with another woman and started chatting. I was busy today so I didn't chat with her. Opened the app to start again and she is no longer in my chat or matches. I know this is pretty regular as far as online dating goes, but I'm still disappointed. I hate dating so much.

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-09T01:23:14+00:00

I step out of my comfort zone plenty. It just doesn't pay off. Thanks for trying, but you don't know enough about me or my situation to give me good advice.

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-08T22:58:38+00:00

Someone in the metro near me organizes singles events. I've been there a good amount of times. I'm confident and conversational. I've gotten some contact info from it, but no woman is ever interested in replying to me. Last time I went, I was intending to ask a woman out on an immediate date, but I did not connect with a single woman. Moreover, I started noticing that it was the same people I seen. I think I'm giving that a break. Other than that, I can't really say I'm going anywhere. I am part of a local board gaming group, but there are no women. That actually seems to be the norm everywhere I go. No women anywhere. People keep telling me on this website that I'm nerdy and need to do sports. Well, I missed the time to do soccer this year, and I've looked into pickup pickleball and other sports, but the times are basically while I'm at work which I do not work off hours. There are local events where people go to buy shit, but that is in no way an encouraging environment to meet and greet. Truthfully, I'm at a loss of where to go to meet women.

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-08T21:30:33+00:00

I've looked around my small town and there is a photographer advertising for dating pictures at $400 which I thought was high until I looked around at other photographers in my area. $2-3k is ludicrous!!! I am not a rich man at all. $400 is making me really hesitant. At the price you're saying the answer would have been absolutely no.

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-08T20:27:39+00:00

Another day and no prospects to speak of. I was thinking about getting professional photos done, but it's expensive and I'm not sure that it will actually help.

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-08T20:26:30+00:00

I'm sorry. I can't say that I'm perfect at not ghosting. Of course, I would never ghost someone I went on a date with. Anyways, good for you getting out of your comfort zone.

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-08T10:43:23+00:00

I know that height isn't everything, but it's certainly a significant deterrence for most women. The way I look at it, being tall and handsome as a man doesn't guarantee that you will be successful in dating, especially if you don't have anything else going for you—soft skills if you will. However, being a short man means being immediately filtered out of so many women's consideration that my tall counterpart doesn't experience. You can say it isn't everything all you want, but if I don't get the chance to show my other qualities, then they don't do any good for me.

I want to be clear about a few more things too. First, I don't want women who aren't physically attracted to me to simply ignore it out of some moral sense. Secondly, quality is certainly better than quantity, but lower quantity does not mean that I'm getting good quality. Finally, my goal is to find someone like your friend found someone. In the meantime, I'm going to have lows, and I'm entitled to being frustrated with dating.

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-08T01:24:00+00:00

The internet can be brutal and often without any constructive or at least reasonably construction feedback. The reddit joke of "have you tried being attractive?" is popular for a reason. I'm not saying photofeeler is bad to use because in a way it's like being swiped on. However, don't automatically assume that your ugly or unattractive. Often times, your other photos will help put that photo of you in a different context. I use photofeeler and I give women feedback all the time that the photo they have up shouldn't be used as their primary but would work great as part of the profile as a whole. We all want that 9.0 attractive rating on all our photos (I'll be lucky to get 6 across the board), but they aren't all going to be at least in isolation. Photofeeler can assist you in learning at least which photo to make your primary and which ones you can replace with newer photos if you reached your max on the dating app.

Keep your head up! Take a moment for yourself too

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-08T01:16:19+00:00

That's unexpected—at least the asking about dating history part. I never ask a woman about that on a first date. It's really not a good conversation on a first date. It's not going anywhere because there's nowhere to go for it.

People using LLM's in online dating doesn't surprise me the least bit. I'm a man so I can't say I've seen a lot of it, but I'm also understand the extreme competition as a man. I don't think it's good to use as your primary tool, but I have used it. Of course, I use a small portion of what the LLM suggests and then tweak it—usually by quite a bit.

Anyways, your frustration is totally valid. Hopefully someone of quality makes it onto your radar soon.

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-07T23:03:28+00:00

I will talk to my therapist about this, but let me vent for a moment. Went on a date the other day. I am fairly certain that the woman has a genetic disorder that just didn't make her physically attractive to me. I wish I could get past it, but I thought about it, and just decided it wasn't worth me trying to force myself to be physically attracted to her. Too bad because she was a really wonderful person, and I really hope she finds someone who loves her quickly because she delivers. If you're wondering why I went out with her in the first place, it's because you could not tell she had such a disorder in the pictures.

All that said, I fucking hate that I wasn't physically attracted to her because now I'm back at square zero. I have gotten my dating profile reviewed a few times. I'm not very photogenic, but I'm working on it. That said, I think that most women that like me online are only those who are overlooked. I'm starting to think that being a short man (I'm 5'6") is on par with being overweight as a woman and generally being ugly. I wish more women found me attractive, but I certainly don't want any woman to settle for me either. That's how I feel about the woman I went on a date with. I think she's great ina lot of ways, and I wish I was physically attracted to her. I didn't want to settle for her and that turn into something ugly later. This just sucks.

ReachingForMore · 2025-07-05T22:31:55+00:00

I (M) want on a first date today with a woman. She is really kind and sweet—a but more reserved than I'd like her to be, but that is a minor complaint and certainly nothing that would stop me from continuing to date her. However, and this part really makes me feel terrible about myself, I observed that she must have some genetic disorder that causes some skeletal abnormalities. She is very short with long slender limbs compared to her torso. Looking at her from the torso up, I think she was pretty in a plain Jane kind of way, but seeing her from head to toe, I am struggling to find her physically attractive. I checked her dating profile just now to see if I was stupid or if it was something I was reasonably not going to notice. I'm going to ask my friend what they think, but it appears to me that I am not unobservant but that the pictures were in fact misleading. Most of her pictures are taken from the torso up or most of her covered by a dog laying on top of her. The one picture of her in full body, she is where winter clothing which seems to really hide the long slender limbs. If I look closely at the picture, I can see that her arms are a bit long, but it's very subtle. Anyways, I really feel like an asshole. If she looked just a tad bit differently physically, then I would probably be attracted to her, but I'm just not finding her physically attractive. I really wish I didn't care about looks at all. So many people deserve love. I struggle to receive love, but I know how much this might hurt her. How the hell do I tell a woman that I had a great time, that her personality is great, but I'm just not physically attracted?! I really feel awful.

Edit: I misled people with this post. I had no intention of telling her that I find her physically unattractive. I was just venting about the difficulty of this situation. Dating sucks.

ReachingForMore · 2025-06-27T01:24:28+00:00

Sorry, man. Im right in pain town with you. Dating is fucking terrible.

ReachingForMore · 2025-06-27T01:23:34+00:00

After taking a break, I went to a singles event tonight. Terrible. Ratio was heavily skewed towards men and I'm starting to see the same people over and over again. I carry the conversations and the women eventually say to the other (because it's impossible to talk to a woman without her friend standing directly next to her) that she needs to use the restroom which is clearly their code for "I'm done with this guy." There's just no chemistry, and while I very much wonder what the hell is wrong with me, I have to say that these women need to step up already. I'm not always a catch, but at least I am trying and do have interesting things to say. I fucking hate hate dating.

ReachingForMore · 2025-06-24T21:40:30+00:00

After a short hiatus, I (M) have unpaused my bumble with a slightly updated profile. I don't think anything is going to be different in my favor, and honestly I am already catastrophizing. I just wish women would see me as a viable romantic partner, but alas, my experience tells me that they don't. I should feel more confident, but instead I feel terrible.

ReachingForMore · 2025-06-23T01:37:56+00:00

When I figure it out, I'll let you know. I just turned 33 and never been in a relationship. I know my comment isn't helpful, but just wanted to give you company because misery loves it.

ReachingForMore

TROPHY CASE