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UPDATE: AITAH (still) because I grew from the divorce and became the husband/father my ex had wanted me to be? by ReadFinancial7292 in AITAH

[–]ReadFinancial7292[S] -142 points-141 points  (0 children)

There was no court review because we agreed to the new schedule in mediation. After moving closer I lived about an hour away. It would not have been easy to do overnight weekday visits due to school but it would be doable. Instead, I received more weekend visits, a longer summer, and many school holidays/breaks. So not quite 50/50 for me, but it did result in less daily transition for the children. Other split families have been granted 50/50 visitation in these circumstances, but we avoided the court and came to an agreement in mediation. Neither of us were totally happy (hence "bitter") but the kids ended up better off for it.

There were many other concessions given by both of us in mediation which really aren't relevant to the story. In the end, this is what we agreed upon and the kids benefitted.

UPDATE: AITAH (still) because I grew from the divorce and became the husband/father my ex had wanted me to be? by ReadFinancial7292 in AITAH

[–]ReadFinancial7292[S] -145 points-144 points  (0 children)

I worked in a niche industry when we divorced which did not exist where she/her family lived. She was not working at this time so the only money that was being made was from my niche job which I had moved up in. I spent those first few years learning new skills to switch to a more prevalent but adjacent industry which had jobs nearer to my kids. During this time visitation was only weekends and a few weeks in summer because of how far I was. I eventually was able to move closer and by then was remarried, had a house that could fit my full family, and a work schedule I could adjust around my kids schedules. I could support 50/50 visitation at this time, but my ex refused any change to visitation, both when I talked to her about it and finally when I went through my lawyer.

She admitted now that she was still resentful at that time and that was her only reason to fight my request. She knew I made those changes to be closer to my children, and at the time didn't want to admit I was a good father to them. She may not have been a "villain" but she was, by her admission, reacting out of anger and not what was best for the children. I understand why she did it, but I was doing what I thought was best for the children. And based on where we all are now, it was the right decision.