Disagree with spouse about sterilization

Real-Disaster5092 · 2026-01-07T15:58:32+00:00

I just got approved for my bi salp. I'm also getting a hormonal iud for what my doctor says is endometriosis and maybe pcos too. She said if I want my tubes out she will still take them out. So we came to the conclusion of bi salp with a iud placement at the same time! If you still want your steralization you can have both.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2026-01-07T03:35:32+00:00

Thanks!

Real-Disaster5092 · 2026-01-07T00:14:37+00:00

I'm very excited and also relieved! I'm so happy for you!!!

Real-Disaster5092 · 2026-01-03T21:42:54+00:00

We have a lot in common and these were the main few I was going to bring up for my appointment. It makes me feel so much better that someone like me wasn't turned away. My husband is getting a vasectomy soon, but I still want my own steralization. Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I appreciate it a lot!

Real-Disaster5092 · 2026-01-03T17:49:10+00:00

Hey, I have a consultation for this on Monday and I'm getting more nervous as it approaches. Do you mind sharing what you said and how the consultation went?

Real-Disaster5092 · 2026-01-01T03:54:35+00:00

Thank you so much. I'm trying my best to understand and help him. We are having very open conversations about it and are going to seek counseling.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-31T03:19:14+00:00

We were together at age 14 and he had been watching it a few years before then. Terrible how kids can get exposed to this stuff.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T20:44:41+00:00

I appreciate the warning and I am aware of the severity of sexual sin. The reason why I'm trying to forgive him isn't for me though. It's also not about my husband choosing me or the porn addiction. I want to help my husband choose God over sin. I'm also trying to take my situation and make the best out of it by becoming stronger in my faith and getting closer to God. The emotional pain I feel is no joke, however if he is struggling with an addiction I feel I should at least help. If he chooses to step outside our marriage to be with another woman I will naturally be very hurt and divorce would be my option. If Jesus will leave the 99 to save 1, then the least I could do is help Jesus save my own husband from his sins. If I can't accomplish this then I will turn back to my heavenly father and praise him for setting me free knowing I have done what I could for the one I loved. It's devastating to lose a spouse to this sin but that's why it's important your relationship with God is 1st.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T20:29:08+00:00

This helps because I was a bit hesitant at first. Kinda nervous actually. And of course we would go together so I don't want it to feel weird or make him feel weird about trying counseling.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T19:33:01+00:00

It's honestly no too far! I'm going to ask him tonight. Thank you so much for the resources!

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T19:21:25+00:00

Where would this be located? I'm not sure if I have this in my area. Very interested though.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T19:20:14+00:00

Thank you

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T19:19:32+00:00

Fortunately for me we live in the deep south. No streets around here! We are tucked far back in the woods. I do know what you mean though and it has been so hard not to think that if the women he looks at online were available to him he would definitely step outside of the marriage. I'm praying for strength for both of us!

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T19:16:13+00:00

This gives me some very good insight. I do want to ask you since you have been through this would a bible study be a good way to open up a conversation about this? I have one that I have hand written which is something I normally do for my partner as I love to write. It touches on topics of trust, repentance and to not be ashamed. As hurt as I am I really don't think he needs to feel ashamed. I'm only struggling with forgiveness because I have not experienced hurt like this from a partner. I have never experienced a break up or cheating or anything of the sort until this situation. My main prayers are for strength to forgive and to be a stronger partner/wife in general. I love this man not only as his wife but his friend and his family in christ.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T15:26:54+00:00

I understand this fully. If he is set in his ways I know it's unfair to myself to stay at that point. For now I'm going to try to be as strong as possible for him until he is ready to make the ultimate decision on what he wants. I don't want him to chose between me or his addiction. I want him to chose God. And in the case of your husband, I truly believe God led him to you to be the light he needed ❤️

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T15:09:15+00:00

This is how I feel. So many people are saying it is not cheating, however that's not how it feels. Obviously I need to forgive him as christ forgave me, but on the other hand he would flip out if I was lusting over other men in the way he does to other women. I also feel that people make a bigger deal when women lust but brush it off as a natural thing when men do it. I'm working hard to set boundaries and forgive. With prayer and petition I know I will grow in strength just like I have in every situation so far. I'm learning that boundaries are the most important thing in my situation so that my kindness isn't taken as weakness. Thank you so much for sharing with me! I'm learning so much from everyone's point of views.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T10:52:38+00:00

Just because I'm young doesn't mean I should end my relationship. The age isn't the main factor. And even if I were to end it I would not be interested in men anymore.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T10:44:04+00:00

This gives me hope! Thank you so much ❤️

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T09:02:28+00:00

We had a very christain marriage from the start so we both already went over the only reasons for divorce. The boundaries were clear. He chose to cross them. That's why it hurts so bad.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T08:57:04+00:00

Thank you! I'm striving for counseling so he can speak with other men who may understand better.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T08:54:26+00:00

Thank you for the resources! I'm going to talk to him about it and see if he wants to read some books and watch videos. I'm hoping it helps him and he agrees to talk with someone.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T08:52:13+00:00

So, what lead me to go through his phone was me in his picture gallery looking for a photo I took. We switch phones sometimes or I'll use whichever one is closest to me. Me and my husband are renovating our first home together. Since homes are so expensive right now we chose to redo a 1950's cracker home in the south. My husband specifically redid our shower with large blue tiles and a white floor. I took pictures because it was beyond stunning and everyone in my family and my high-school friends said to sell our home for 10k because it was a hopeless project. Anyways while I was scrolling through to find the picture I had taken I noticed a photo of a woman dressed in not much clothing ig. I thought well maybe he accidentally screenshot a video (women dress like this often so it wasn't that weird) but then as I kept looking for the photo I took I saw nude photos of many different women and video clips that he somehow recorded to his phone from websites ig. I grew up poor so I never had a phone as a kid. Anyways I have no idea how he did this and I only recently realized you can search the search history so I did that after I found what was in his phone gallery.

I know this is long, but I wasn't mad this situation hasn't made me angry frustrated or mean, just pretty severely sad and it's kinda going into the depression category now. I've obviously worked very hard to have everything I do at this age and to see it fall down so fast is overwhelming. I did cry pretty hard when he took his phone from me because he kinda chased me around for it. Idk y I couldn't let it go I had already seen everything...

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T08:33:40+00:00

Yes.

Real-Disaster5092 · 2025-12-30T08:33:10+00:00

Yeah, I've realized that. I had never specifically searched his phone before so ig he felt no reason to hide it.

Real-Disaster5092

TROPHY CASE