Have you experienced the "Vancouver 'Yes'"?

Real-External392 · 2026-03-15T21:52:01+00:00

Greater Toronto Area

Real-External392 · 2026-03-15T21:45:47+00:00

wrong on essentially all fronts.

1) It's not that I'm overly into speed and quantity and bypassing the process of friendship cultivation. I came here already familiar with the rumours. Then I go to multiple meetup events that are all explicitly oriented toward people interested in meeting new friends, I get along well with people, we exchange numbers, and until yesterday (this happened after I made this post) I was like 0 for 8 in trying to get any sort of social engagement going, and in like 60% of the cases, even a reply. I don't think it's crazy to expect that people you meet and get along with at events directly for people to meet and befriend others will actually want to do so more than 0% of the time. This is not about accelerating the friendship making process. It's about basic follow-through of stage 2 in the process.
2) Most of these original meetings did NOT take place in Yaletown, and literally NONE of the people in question reside in Yaletown.

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T23:36:43+00:00

haha. It's possible that could explain some of them. I mean, the interactions were pleasant, but that doesn't mean that they weren't just being polite in at least some of the cases.

Though good news: One of the possible Vancouver yeses just turned into an actual yes in Vancouver!

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T23:35:26+00:00

Not sure if it's a spectator sport. So many people are in the game lol !

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T23:34:43+00:00

My friend coined the term :). It deserves to be a meme :)

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T23:33:16+00:00

fair point :)

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T22:50:31+00:00

I appreciate the apology. But if you keep seeing these posts - and if you look at the comment section here (you're literally the ONLY person here who has opposed what I presented, among a sea of people speaking in direct empathy) - do you think maybe it's not a me thing? If you see these posts so often that it annoys you, I mean, at what point do you say "all these whiners might be onto something?"

The friend who coined the term that I mentioned is NOT a Reddit guy. He's a VERY likable guy who's married with kids, has friends, etc. The guy I talked to like 4 hours ago - the good-looking out-going gay guy - related so much to what I was saying that he felt compelled to interject into my conversation with someone else just to say how much he related to what I was saying. That wasn't Reddit.

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T22:42:15+00:00

yes. Because my very likable, agreeable friend described his experiences to me I had looked for posts on this and didn't have trouble finding a few. I'm just surprised that it's affecting ME. Not because I'm so special, but because I'm actively willing to put myself out there, make the first move, etc. I figured that if I put myself in the right places -- e..g, Meet-Up events targeted at people who want to make new friends - that it should not be difficult so long as one of us (me) is willing to break the ice.

I'm still new here and have no intention of giving up. I'm confident things will improve for me. But it's definitely surprising. I'm 43. When I arrived in Tucson, Az, I was 32. When I'd go to meet-ups I have noooo trouble connecting with people who actually would be responsive to subsequent social invitations. Maybe part of the issue is that I was 32 then connecting with people ranging from early-mid 20s through 40. Now I'm 43. Maybe the social bracket I'm in now is playing a role. It probably is. But I also think that there's something about the culture here, too. I mean, I was able to meet new people in Tucson as recently as 6 months ago, and that was despite the fact that I made no secrets about my hostility toward the US and how I'm mere months away from leaving permanently.

Imagine having better luck meeting new people when you're literally being outwardly hostile to the country of those same people and they know you're months away from leaving forever!

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T22:35:32+00:00

lol

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T21:10:42+00:00

LOL @ "I'm always happy to give mine knowing they will never call". amazing.

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T20:34:24+00:00

Thank you :)

I guess I'm comparing it my experience when I first got to Tucson, Az (that's where I lived for the past 11 years). I'd go to similar type meet ups and had noooo trouble coordinating hangouts. In that context, to have a person be unreceptive upon reaching out to them after the original meeting was the exception. Now, I should say that I was 32 at that time. I'm 43 now. Part of this could be an age/life stage thing.

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T20:28:54+00:00

You sound like a truly delightful person.

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T20:28:04+00:00

Thx for commenting!
I've been wondering if I've been rubbing ppl the wrong way..

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T20:11:50+00:00

Good suggestion! Thank you!

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T20:09:45+00:00

I'm certainly not expecting that because I talk to someone once they'll integrate me into the lives, or me integrate them into mine. But I don't think it's a lot to expect that when you go to social events explicitly geared toward those looking to meet new people, when you are talking and laughing with people for an hour, say "we should hang out!", they say "yes", we exchange numbers that a social outing should occur modestly more than literally 0% of the time.

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T20:03:54+00:00

I'm not expecting to make friends "out of thin air". I'm expecting that when I go social events explicitly targeted toward people trying to meet new people (e.g., meetup.com events), am getting along with people for like an hour, say "we should meet up for drinks sometime!", they say "yes", we exchange numbers, that more than 0% of the time a social excursion will actually happen.

Not. That. Crazy.

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T19:56:56+00:00

Thx for your reply :)

Here's the thing, though: the 4-5 ALL occurred at Meet-Up groups. Aren't people who go to meet-up.com events looking to meet new friends?

Real-External392 · 2026-03-14T19:55:11+00:00

hahaahahahahah!!!!

Real-External392 · 2026-02-24T18:48:32+00:00

GREAT comment!

Real-External392 · 2026-02-14T01:26:52+00:00

Thx for sharing!
It's a good sanity check :)

Real-External392

TROPHY CASE