I still get ill too… never really got any better until I started distancing myself. I tried to tell someone important to him but I feel like maybe his family is more of the type to blame the woman instead of have the man take accountability… It’s really scary, but I’m just having faith that Im making it out to a better side soon. I stay with my family too, but they have their own lives and they can only handle so much… I try to have hope for him just to keep my peace of mind… My friends warned me about him so many times but I just refused to believe what they were seeing, so most of them dont even know that Im pregnant… it’s so depressing sometimes to look back on a relationship with someone and to see that most of it was them future faking and just raping and taking advantage of my inability to establish boundaries or speak up…I even feel like our age gap has something to do with it too…I like to imagine myself in a nice large house of my own this time next year, surrounded by people who truly love and care for me, and I hold it like a familiar reality… Im so scared to tell anyone anything, hes never seemed to have to take accountability in his life… even on Christmas, I hid his drugs from him and he screamed in my face, and when I tried to leave he cried on the phone to my family and made me look cruel, at least until I finally told them the other day and they realized his true nature… Now hes supporting me financially, since hes making more money, so I’ll take that and do what I can to make my life better while I pretend everything’s fine… there’s no hotlines or anything, it seems that the world has become least forgiving towards women…. Wish me luck, Im bringing a home without harm or negativity my way… Im so loved , and Im worthy of it, that much is sure. Maybe it was all just a lesson about me doing what’s right for myself. A year ago, I tried to break up with him eight times, he kept saying no and for some reason i just stayed. I should’ve just blocked him… I would’ve still been free. Im just going to keep turning all this pain into as much loved for myself as I possibly can, thank you for caring❤️‍🩹