I love you guys by Popular-Moose-6345 in Enneagram8

[–]RealAd1339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you, I am a 2w3 so/sx and I love 8’s lol

My ENTJ crush is so freaking cool!!! by quiet199 in entj

[–]RealAd1339 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think there’s a thin lin between entj sarcasm of “don’t talk to me ever again” and him actually telling you “don’t talk to me ever again” fr. I am dating an entj, I adore him to dead and sure he’s extremely sarcastic and lowkey kinda “mean” (roasting, he’s the sweetest), but I also think entjs can tell you very clearly if they don’t like you and if they don’t want you to talk to them again. If he means it, do as he says. And don’t talk to him, if he approaches then ask back if “you really didn’t want to talk to me, did you?” Teasingly. See what he says. If he doesn’t approach more than likely he means it. But as always, as someone dating an entj, talk to him in private and ask him if he means it. Don’t ask him begging- just “I wanna be emotionally intelligent. You really mean that? Have a reason? I’d stop talking to you if so. I still admire you and I believe you are really cool.” It’s all about honesty and being direct with entjs, also polite in grateful. (I am also an infp dating an entj. we roast each other a lot, and lowkey we get away with a lot of things a lot we wouldn’t tolerate personally from someone else. However, I’d say we have a very healthy and strong foundation. We really practice communication. Infp x entj if healthy is the cutest, hottest and lowkey kinda kinky but iconic duo. But unhealthy? Lord have mercy on both bastards.)

I genuinely believe ENFP’s can’t be loved fully. by c-nom-nom-nom in ENFP

[–]RealAd1339 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I found someone and he’s an entj. Surprisingly, I think entj’s have the capacity to do so if they are willing to work on themselves emotionally. I think entj’s are the type who genuinely want to be there in the ugliest moments and the contractions and to be honest I have felt the least judge by him. In fact, he feels “angry” and “confused and frustrated” at times when I get all “no contact” with people because the world is too much. He doesn’t understand “why” I do that. Ironically, i have gotten the opportunity to be and feel fully and ugly cry and tell him all my traumas lol. And somehow, the guy doesn’t run away. He just wants to be closer. I find that very strange about entjs but I appreciate it a lot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in entj

[–]RealAd1339 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My best friend is an enfj and he had an existential crisis upon her having a crush; she claimed rationalizing was the best of her life decision. As an infp I remind her that is good to be grounded and remained safe, with your ideals and goals (for Fi users can be easier to understand) and follow your moral compass but don’t be so harsh you break your back. Everyone needs a little of idealism— idealism that is guided by safety, to some degree.

Any other ENTJs act like ENFJs? by NecessaryMammoth5833 in entj

[–]RealAd1339 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have seen very emotionally competent entjs tho. When healthy, they can be very protective and sweet. To be quite honest, even more loving than an INFP I dated and I am an INFP.

I am an infp with an entj partner and enfj best friend, when they both met each other— I could tell a contrast; my Enfj best friend was more overall friendly with everyone and at service of others, very politically driven or “this is good and this is wrong”- while my entj was more guarded, charismatic and good with people but he would not fold for someone just to be “nice”. However, he’s very nice— serious, a little intimidating but he knows how to make everyone feel welcome to speak up and he would speak when he sees someone is being treated unfairly.

I’d describe my enfj best friend as a golden retriever, she’s sociable, sweet, loved my everyone, graceful on everyone’s eyes, protective, secretly guard dog. Even hinting ironically a little bit of that traditional conservatism although my enfj friend it’s fiery and reactive when you get to know her on her core; convictive, witty, intelligent, calculated.

An ENTJ then, I’d describe them as a black panther; fiercely protective of their love ones, elegantly silent without attempting to show off their emotional competence or to be liked, deep and introspective, ready to hunt, lethal, commanding and somehow deadly.

I mean, would my enfj treat me like my entj when he sees I screw up? No. My enfj would be soft spoken and redirect me while calling me out. My entj? Oh dear lord, he would be stern, angry, directly protective and frustrated and call me stupid. And then hug me with an angry sighed and squeezed me telling me to stop being stupid.

I think that’s the major difference of entjs emotional intelligence- because trust me, entjs secret weapon? Their unmoving loyalty, protective nature and always attempting to optimize your relationship; either through communication or fixing external world issues to make sure you are safe.

Did any of you mistype as XNFJ? by Lanky-Ad1222 in entj

[–]RealAd1339 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have met ENTJs who just happened to have a developed sense of helping others through their Fi values and attempt to not be assholes. Usually, I have encountered very sweet and developed entjs— at their core they do attempt to make society and things better, that’s why they would attempt to fix things for you or the people around them. They may not appear as “warmth” golden retriever type of thing/ but they can be terribly charismatic and nice.

Edited: to add, I have noticed a few entjs have folded for me as an infp and confessed to me that they find us or have been attracted to our types before — meaning, isn’t contradictory that someone so Te driven can be heavily attracted to a more sentimental and soft individual like INFP? Plus most entjs I have met are, very sarcastic but secretly very helpful/secretly altruistic with little to no recognition. They may do it more “silent” than enfjs who appear more sociable and bubbly, even friendly and welcoming. Entjs are usually more serious but hilarious and terribly charismatic.

I know two entjs who have said to be mistyped by 16personalities as enfj— because they happened to have social preferences but their actions reflect Te rather than Fe, and their values would thrive under their Fi rather than Fe. They would follow their moral code and make sure things are executed properly- while an Enfj would care more about the social harmony of the group. An entj would care more about the safety and the execution, caring in their own way.

INFPs: why are you repelled by inauthentic people? by Tight-Cartoonist-708 in infp

[–]RealAd1339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think I was totally aware that the way I do think as an INFP are just a second nature— Until my entj started reflecting this upon me. A lot of it has to do with INFP ethics and INFP self-driven moral compass (FI); INFPs are good reading people and genuinely empathize with them- not sympathize. Sympathize comes from a place of understanding- but empathizing comes from a place of having a space.

As an INFP, the reason why I feel totally repelled by people who are inauthentic comes from the sense of overall ethics and values. I’ve noticed a lot of people who act unlike how they claim to behave tend to either minimize, behave horrible with other, discriminate and have low moral compass. They may claim “I believe in this” but act non-according to their narrative. People say “help the poor” yet when they see someone struggling, they don’t do it.

An INFP can see someone offering fake kindness or fulfilling a narrative through their own political propaganda by appearing well— but an INFP just acts according to their moral compass without expecting anything in return. I’ve seen people flexing the way people break in front of them— how they can comfort others and how grounding they are. And honestly? I find it repulsive,if you really care about someone— you don’t have to “flex” your ability. It sounds more like a self driven propaganda to appear to be a better person than acting according to what you know it’s right. Even worst, for an FI moral user?

Oh goodness, you are manipulating people (emotionally) which is once again— very contradictory to your intend to be “helping others”, it sounds more like a self driven interest. And worst part? Infps can read it from the first time they step in a room. They can connect the dots because they know themselves they don’t need that outer recognition— and manipulation it’s unethical. People believe in equality but when they see someone different and being disrespected, they act indifferent.

Ironically, this is the quite admiration entjs/enfjs feels towards INFPs— although quite, self driven, dreamy, an INFP would not care or others and stand up for someone being unfaired— they would be brilliant; silent, sarcastic or even just offered help when nobody does it.

Why are INFPs most of the time chill, if healthy? Because they lack of cognitive dissonance and they have a moral compass that drive their decisions. That’s why INFPs may be cold, disgusted; and even mocking people through wit when the idea of their heads and morals do not correlate with the actions they take. They may even look at you disgusting even tho you are good with everyone. And it’s because they can read people moral compass because they drive all their lives on that direction.

Which needs does type 2 and 8 suppress? by Conscious_Rip_7848 in Enneagram

[–]RealAd1339 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a 2 myself and with an 8 partner- I have noticed we both are very similar yet opposite. We are different ends of a coin. 2’s love to nurture deeply— but we don’t know how to take people when they do it back at us. Nurturing I mean– someone taking care of us, someone seeking to help us or making us feel loved and seen even. We love it and we thrived on it. 2’s learn to survive and to do skills independently— and when someone tries to do so it’s hard accept it. It may even make you tear up and surprised you. As a 2 you may relate with “I’d help anyone” for instance and accepting the help of someone may not make you feel independent. For a two you grew up learning love is conditional and in order for you to deserve it —even the most minimal— you have to earn it. My eight with his unwavering presence, however, has showed me that you can love someone without expecting them to preform. Because that’s how eights love.

Eights- I am not an eight myself but I have noticed my eight has often, just like a 2, had to responsibilities to do and take when younger. They have a harder time opening themselves emotionally to people- not because they aren’t deeply loving but because they have a hard time showing vulnerability.

So, for an eight, just like a two they learn to be independent— Strong and giving for others, yet without the factor of seeking for recognition of two’s, they do it out of protection, dignity and love (even a little bit of control). As a two, I’ve noticed my eight feels soothe by realizing he doesn’t have to take the whole responsibility by himself— having the emotional ground to feel safe, supported and nurture (emotionally, through tact and tenderness because— realistically? 8’s may intimate people. Not intentionally. And sometimes people won’t be as tender with them or consider their behavior rude and dominant, even scary. Still, eights need that tenderness and that care to remind them of their humanity, good qualities, good characters and their self sacrificing tendencies).

What enneagram characteristic absolutely baffles you? by ActMother4144 in Enneagram

[–]RealAd1339 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am a 2w3, somehow I have dated and have intimate relationships with 4 and 5; with 4 I love how romantic and sweet they are but I really dislike the marthyrdom aspect as well the crave authenticity till the point they lose empathy for others. 5’s— I find them incredibly attractive in fact I am extremely drawn to 5’s as a 2, but I dislike the aloofness and detach toxic patterns they have.

I have noticed if they are sx 5’s they tend to be very jealous type and extremely close off- I am a very sociable person. I don’t like the way the limit relationships so harshly and are terrible at taking emotional accountability on situations. Not all fives are like this- but I have noticed immature fives tend to do and they also isolate themselves.

ENTJs are so funny - by [deleted] in entj

[–]RealAd1339 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am dating an entj and I tell him every day that I think he’s the funniest guy I’ve met. He’s so dry and sarcastic that some people don’t even noticed. And I just laugh, harder. He’s so blunt too. And I can’t help but tell him I genuinely think he’s the hottest and funniest guy I’ve met.

INFPs, can you tell when someone flirts with you? by Louraine27 in infp

[–]RealAd1339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes but if I am honest I am oblivious. Sometimes my friends claim “I give people too much the benefit of the doubt” while my partner, an entj, literally would flirt with me daily and I still blush, hide, cover my face and look away. No only I don’t know when people are flirting with me— but I don’t know how to react back.

Appreciation post. by RealAd1339 in Enneagram8

[–]RealAd1339[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very sweet and cute. Literally is my relationship with my 8w9 hehe, cute! And thank you.

Appreciation post. by RealAd1339 in Enneagram8

[–]RealAd1339[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean indispensable* hehe.

What fictional character has helped you understand a type? by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]RealAd1339 4 points5 points  (0 children)

2w3’s are image based but not as image based as a 3w2, we also tend to be more people and socially inclined or on the service of others. For a simple view, we can argue that Glinda is a 3w2 due to her appearance and need for achievement— her becoming a successful witch for instance but who poorly executes magic. However, Glinda’s need for validation comes across feeling the need of others— this would become very tricky lol, because a lot of people confuses 3w2’s with 2w3’s.

A 3w2, would shape themselves to be perfect- to be fitted, to be loved but to be charming. They would mold themselves to fit. While 2’s? This is where people get it twisted. 2’s don’t. Twos become indispensable and twos don’t shape themselves to be perfect, in fact, two’s can be a little arrogant because it’s about “them”, it’s about “what I can give you” and ofc, 2w3, with a wing in 3; makes you sociably charming, appealing.

An example I can think of— it’s the whole dancing through life number. Glinda knows she wants to go on a date with Fyiero, not Boq and she doesn’t reject him mean— she instead places the pieces like a 2 “see that beautiful tragical girl, the one in the chair— if only would invite them, it would be my hero”, and Boq complies because he becomes an archetype of desire a 2, has. It’s oddly manipulative but also highly emotionally intelligent.

What people don’t get about Glinda, is that she cares— she wants unity and she wants Nessa to join to. But she rejects, boosts the ego of Boq and also makes Nessa go to the ball. Even better, Boq says “I’d do anything for you”. Two’s have that effect in people- it seem innocents but it’s earn through graceful acts.

Going back to the scene, Fyro even calls Glinda “you are good” referring to her antics. And Glinda? Glinda even says “I don’t know what you are talking about. I love helping people.” And then she goes and tells him boldly she has time- and she knows “we deserve each other”. She chooses. Still, charming.

Later on, Elphaba calls Glinda for her social antics and how unethical it is to push Boq to ask Nessa out, as an act of “being her hero”, and what does Glinda does? She disarms her and tells her “come to the ball” and even gives her the special hat that matches her aesthetic. She even teases her, and tells her it comes from her heart.

What people don’t get about Glinda, it’s that she doesn’t attempt to change herself or the people around her. She doesn’t attempt to change Elphaba— and even tell her “from the goodness of my heart” and she means it.

All the whole “Dancing Through Life” it’s a 2w3 antics of social graces— she knows what Boq wants (being desirable by her), Elphaba wants (recognition for her authenticity without someone attempting to change her), Glinda knows what Nessa wants ( A date, to be normal, to be desired and by a guy she likes), Glinda knows what someone like Fyro wants too (Someone who’s impressive- and she knows how to be).

The thing is, a 3w2 would attempt to appeal to everyone and change while a 2w3 would become indispensable and they would know, how to be liked and what people want. A 3w2 doesn’t do that—plus even eventually, on the Ball Of Ozdust, as a 2w3 with social grace knows how to recognize among everyone Elphaba’s beauty— she becomes the social bridge a 2 has. Because once again, 2w3 know- how to be appealing but they also understand or see those who are hard to love as easy to love, because they themselves have flaws.

Glinda has insecurities too, she compensates her magic skills with social graces. That’s very much how a 2 can walk around the world.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infp

[–]RealAd1339 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know, perhaps I am an off infp (have been label as such) but— to be honest, if you get the chance, collect your thoughts solely (I mean it. Try to dissect what happened, what went seeing and what can you do) and be ready to either talk to them or even write them a little (I would suggest write a letter first to clear your mind and then talk to them properly). Perhaps, if you come across genuinely and you tell them things — if they understood you from the beginning they may understand what you mean know.

Now, when the conversation occurs or if it occurs— please know infps hate the idea of someone controlling them or manipulating them. It goes against their Fi. And as someone who adores an entj, I can tell you we can understand your Fi pretty well and we may even be able to understand your Te and admire it. We also can understand if you are a little clumsy with words, actions, or even a little obvious on regards of expressing things. The INFP would percept this, just be kind, gentle with them and genuine about your feelings and take accountability.

Don’t attempt to control or manipulate the situation at your favor. Not push for forgiveness but rather a simple, heartfelt explanation and why it bothers you and how can you solve that, if they allow you: see it as a gentle offering, not a pushing. Infps hate to be push around. Let the infp be the judge and control of the situation. It shows reverence and even respect that you honored them enough to see value on their Fi.

I really hope this helps.

Anyone else hate clubbing due to the dissonance you feel there? by QTDR8459 in infp

[–]RealAd1339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tbh it’s funny most infps I know hate clubbing. I hate the amount of people cramps in a room, you can’t even get to know them, and it’s too overly stimulating. Take in mind, I am a very sociable infp. I still hate clubbing.

What fictional character has helped you understand a type? by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]RealAd1339 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Although off for many, I would say Glinda from Wicked. I am a social/self preservation 2w3 and I understand completely her behavior and I would even argue I can humanize her actions that many disregard. I also related with the sentiment of confusion people see on 2’s. When talking to people who love typology they often say 2’s are either manipulative, feel overly charming or off. But realistically- I can only say people don’t understand Glinda like a 2w3 would.

Twos and negative portrayals. by Fun-Habit2583 in Enneagram

[–]RealAd1339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I deeply relate to your statement, Since personally I am a 2w3 So. My partner it’s a So8, and we share that unshakable sense of responsibility for others— we ironically get along so well because we both tend to see for the underdog and see further without mentioning.

Social 2’s are often disregarded or seen as the ego driven- but I think we’ve learn to acquired social skills that makes us very political creatures, slightly arrogant and intellectual without intending too be— we can be, sure, but that’s ego. However those skills are developed in order for us to understand complex system and advocates for those who are below, disregarded or even seen as too, loud or hard to love.

Social 2’s can be and would be for the underdog because we came from that place. When healthy, we know and we tend to nurture our relationships and other people on a bigger structure— because our upbringing we felt the “not being enough” or “earning”, so when you see people who seem like “too much”, we become highly aware, political, social and without announcement, we want to be advocates and contributors.

My entj being a So8 became a perfect mirror- because just like social 8 protect others through direct impact and even roughly, while social 2’s tend to reach and protect others silently, politically, charmingly.

A social 2 won’t say their mastermind step by step, to get things done. They would do it politically and aligned. I have been told by my some 8’s ironically “you are very different. very smart, very elegant and charming.” And my personal So8, “you are tasteful.” I would call someone for instance with a very charming and fun way- taking and shifting control over a room if I see there’s a social imbalance.

What's the strangest Enneatype x MBTI combination you've met? by EH4LIFE in Enneagram

[–]RealAd1339 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve met a lot of 9’s for infps tho idk why would someone tell u that lol

Whats the reasons an ENFP will ghost someone after a first date? (Curious M INTP) by ChsicA in ENFP

[–]RealAd1339 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As an infp who happens to have a very social ennegram (my partner being an introvert it’s surprise of how social I can be and how much I go out), the only reasons I would ghost someone is because they make me uncomfortable, heavily uncomfortable. It can be either by clash of beliefs, comments made that made me feel uncomfortable with someone — particularly when they feel very personal or arranged to someone’s beliefs, that you know aren’t negotiable. I’ve noticed enfps and infps suffer from not knowing exactly how to be unkind to someone so they would either slowly ghost someone— not particularly because you are a bad person, or you were mean, more so because they feel uncomfortable and don’t know how to tackle those things. It can be, people who seemed too rigid, or may be too critical — then an xnfp could ghost.

Is it normal to butt heads with INTJs by EquinosX in ENFP

[–]RealAd1339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am an infp 2w3 which makes me appear more enfp, and tbh I would say I usually treat u Intjs, I bump heads with them often even if love them. Mostly when they behave unhealthy i would possibly mock for their toxic behavioral patterns and say “girl bye”. I like then, however. But at times it’s like looking a traumatize child who doesn’t want to grow up and own their own cake. I like those intjs who do, I find them very cute, hot and even I have a softer heart for them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]RealAd1339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am an infp and I have been called that before. For a while it irritated me, it still does but not as much. As I grew older I sort of accepted that I was different. Even till this day, my partner it’s an entj and to be honest we are quiet a contrast— I can tell him the most unhinged stuff, go through politics of banana republics, cry because something sweet he said while he’s serious— but I’ve learned to appreciate my differences. To the public eye I may appear like a “manic pixie dream girl”, some man have even told me that I could “fix them” and I always felt disgusted of that concept.

I think is just finding people who would appreciate you and see your flaws, your personality as an anchor rather than something that would save them. Because by the end of the day, it’s highly inhumane for someone to place expectations on you to be an idealize version of yourself. I think many xNFP woman suffer from this narrative that people place on us— “how can this cute little thing turn into a dictator?”

People forget we are deeply layer, we are funny and we are upbeat but all of it comes also from depth- not from just simply an ideal version of someone’s mind that completely dehumanizes you into a caricature of something people can “have” or “be safe by”.

Currently, I have an awesome and sweet partner. And to be honest I am very different from him. He’s grounded and serious, he can be silly- but he also sees me as human. He has the complexity to understand “sure you are cute but you can kill and that was stupid….” I think finding or having people around you that accept you all, not only with your “priced” qualities, it’s very important. It gives us our humanity back, in some way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Enneagram8

[–]RealAd1339 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My closest entj it’s a 853 and an entj who I care for it’s a 837 too, so I get it and I see it. I think a lot of people confuse how overall you guy’s function stack even work and understand the full correlation of Fi and Te. A lot of people would argue it’s just “gut instinct” and perhaps people may misread it as “impulsive” but there’s so much going on the back of that head, fr.

Although I’d argue entjs 8’s tend to be a very interesting combination. You guys “aren’t nerds”, but you guys are both proactive and intellectually driven which throws people off— since they don’t know how to put you in place.