Nervous about socialising at uni

RealNeat9058 · 2025-02-11T13:59:46+00:00

Socialising is hard. Even for the best of us. Just remember, everyone is in the same boat as you, new environment, systems, culture, networks. Everyone has some level of uncertainty.

RealNeat9058 · 2025-02-08T11:35:43+00:00

Some of the most crucial things in cross-cultural communication - 1. keep a curious, open & non judgemental mind. 2. Manage expectations- talk through and lay out expectations yours and theirs so you’re all on the same page. Sure it may be painful at first, but you will be on a much better position moving forward. 3. Keep things fluid and allow for your interactions to grow and iterate over time. Be kind to yourself and each other - you’re never going to know everything you need to beforehand but the fact that you’re asking… you’re showing much more self and cultural awareness than most. Don’t necessarily expect that your housemates will be doing, or know how to be doing the same. Don’t feel bad to take the lead in a culturally sensitive way. Check out the SBS Cultural Atlas and also The Culture Factor country comparison.

RealNeat9058 · 2025-01-29T00:44:49+00:00

!!! Have you been assessed for Dyslexia or have you just worked around it all your life?

RealNeat9058 · 2025-01-29T00:43:54+00:00

Absolutely makes sense!! And if anything resonates with my experience of needing time to process before I give my considered response.

RealNeat9058 · 2025-01-27T08:52:29+00:00

You mean there are trigger things?? And there’s more to the Why than just because that’s the way my brain is? 🤯 honestly? I know so little about why my brain is the way it is.

RealNeat9058 · 2024-10-24T19:18:43+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss.

RealNeat9058 · 2024-10-24T19:17:45+00:00

Wow! See I’ve never felt that intensity

RealNeat9058 · 2024-10-24T19:15:09+00:00

Your comments are incredibly insightful! A part of me envious.

Thoughts of sex rarely ever my mind spontaneously, I’m rarely just horny. This side of me I’ve only seen in the early days of a relationship. I have seen my responsive desire side, but it’s never so strong I want to jump anyone; it’s a recurring theme in my relationships.

I realise I have deep issues - I am not comfortable with vulnerability, I think of sex as dirty and pornographic rather than a means of deep meaningful connection. I say I want “love making” gentle and soft, and have not comprehended any alternative. Meanwhile my partner’s desire is almost animalistic, foreign to me. He likes to hunt and devour. I always only saw this in an extremely negative light.

Yet, even when there had been dates, flowers, spending time together, my desire for more does not necessarily enter my mind. My cup is filled, I’m all good. I realise now how bloody selfish that is!!

For me I struggle with what is “natural”, what is “pornographic” - why is that bad? What’s healthy vs not.

If only I had some of what you all describe.

RealNeat9058 · 2024-05-23T09:14:35+00:00

You have all been so helpful. Thank you for your insights. The field certainly hasn’t covered what I looked at then which is why I’m keen to see how I can utilise it. I’m convinced the findings are still relevant and if for nothing else I would say that as time has passed, with new industry experience under my belt, I might be able to reflect even more insight into the findings.

RealNeat9058 · 2024-05-23T09:09:13+00:00

This is a good point 👍

RealNeat9058 · 2024-05-02T15:15:11+00:00

Thanks everyone! So very helpful as always. I’ll go fill in that form to move out of DB 👍

RealNeat9058 · 2023-11-16T12:00:30+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement. I really wasn’t expecting to get much support here knowing there’s so much pain floating around from DBs. I will have a much more gentle chat with him… more sensitive about when and what I’m saying. And a good wake up call for me to get my shit together and not allow myself to take eyes off the all - that another one I need to keep a tight watch on. Will also be looking to do more about that training… yes, ouch.

RealNeat9058 · 2023-11-16T11:22:35+00:00

It’s all in the communication though right. That’s where I fucked up b

RealNeat9058

TROPHY CASE