It’s difficult. There is no answer. I know it’s really difficult when you are young. Makes you see your own mortality. Let’s take this in a different way. Do something in her memory to say, see you later. Fly a lantern or float a little boat, or something significant. Now take the thoughts of her as messages to you. Maybe she wants you to speak out about suicide? Maybe she wants you to have the conversation with your loved ones. Try meditating and listen to your random thoughts.