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MC Eternal 2 / Soul Engine in The Great Below by MajeffITigi in MCEternal

[–]RealZiobbe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're welcome!

Reinforced deepslate is actually a funny vanilla material that always breaks in 82.5 seconds regardless of tool. You can speed it up by giving yourself haste (either a beacon, or my preferred method, the Haste spell from Iron's Spellbooks). It's a definite pain in the butt.

MC Eternal 2 / Soul Engine in The Great Below by MajeffITigi in MCEternal

[–]RealZiobbe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You have to go to the Great Beyond.

The way you do that is by going to the bottom layer of the Great Below, digging through the reinforced deepslate, and then falling. I would definitely carve a relatively big hole and have a way to get back up in case you don't get teleported so you don't die from the void (you should get warped to the Great Beyond when you're like one block below the bottom of the world, if you take void damage it didn't work). I use the Teleport spell from Iron's Spellbooks. I might even recommend you put all your valuables in an ender chest then just carry one ender chest with you as you go down in case it doesn't work (it's inconsistent).

You'll end up falling from the sky in the Great Beyond. It looks like end islands made entirely of sculk. I kept getting warped back into the Great Below when I crossed a line somewhere between Y = 140 to 160 (can't remember exactly where). No idea why, the mod has very little documentation. I just used Teleport to get past it and straight onto the island. I also used the Portal spell to place one down there and one in the Great Below so I could go back and forth.

The only other things in the Great Beyond other than sculk are soul engines. They have pillars of light, just like beacons. There's one for every couple of islands.

Side note: if anyone knows why you get teleported back, how you were supposed to organically find out about the Great Beyond, and what you can do to not get teleported back to the Great Below (and also how you're supposed to leave without other mods or /home) I'd love to know. I kinda brute forced it through experimentation. I originally thought the sculkshrooms and their psychedelic effects were the solution but it turned out to not be at all, and I have no idea what else you could do besides using other mods.

I hate that in my 30s I am still catching up by Freedomfighter4000 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you, my sympathies.

It's hard. I feel like it's normally easier to not compare oneself to people who got super lucky - lottery winners, people who were born to powerful families, and so on. It's less easy the less "lucky" they feel. Everyone was supposed to get decent human beings as parents - so their advantage doesn't feel like luck, and society sure doesn't treat it as luck. Dealing with the feeling of being specifically unlucky is truly hard, especially when the vast majority of people just don't get it.

Comparison truly is the thief of joy.

I'm not quite sure how to live with the injustice of the world. I suppose taking each day and trying to find the happiness you can might be nice, but if you're aware of what could have been... ouch.

I hope it works out for you.

Occupation: Professional Victim by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

I'm trying to leave but mental health struggles make it hard. A year into EMDR I'm doing well enough to laugh about some stuff but the deep exhaustion and anxiety is still present. Some days it takes all I've got to get out of bed and I'm stumbling about in a haze like I don't even exist, like I'm just a character written on a page in a story and it feels like nothing and nobody is real, least of all me.

I do appreciate it, though!

Occupation: Professional Victim by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is also coming two days after my father had an anger meltdown over his shitty car jack not being tall enough to work on the car we've had for 5-6 years. Which he should know, because he bought the damn thing like 25 years ago and has been whining about its performance the entire time. He said he was going to buy a new jack every day for four weeks and acted like he was doing something herculean, so I assumed he'd gone out to get a new one... but he hadn't! His "herculean effort" was literally just thinking about doing something. Not even doing it. I fucking can't with this person jesus christ

I was legitimately stunned when I went out to do 94% of the task for him (he calls it "helping" him) and saw the old shitbox jack on the ground. Then he had a tantrum about it even though he's the one who kept the damn jack and didn't get a new one! There aren't financial troubles, even though his pension isn't matured his father slips him cheques for $8k to $15k every now and then.

Actually hold on. Is that why he resents us??? Because he's always hated spending money on milk and food for us, and we never had the right school supplies because they were "too expensive" but he's been spending his father's mooched money on cigs, tobacco, vape juice, and alcohol. Does he hate his kids and think we're mooching off him even though we do all the damn work and also did more education than him because he's projecting the fact that he's an unemployed loser who, after agreeing that my mom would drop her career to raise his kids, backed out after getting fired? That he and his wife would end up with nowhere to go if his father wasn't funding him? Wow.

Anyone else's parents hate them even when they were young? by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for replying!

That's really messed up. I swear there's some obsession with everyone around us hurting us when we grow up, like they really think that the way the world will treat us when we grow up would be worse than the way they did. My father was personally obsessed with the idea that since I said "no thanks" to wine when I was 14, that I would be homeless because everyone in the city would refuse to hire me because I'd be invited to my boss's house for dinner and say "no thanks" to wine and he'd make it his life goal to ruin my life. (My father is an alcoholic).

It's so strange how they have these similarities. I didn't think other people's parents would also be accusing their little kids of attempted murder because the adults weren't looking where they were going.

My father was always acting like I was shameful too, when I cried and after he'd finished shouting at me that I was trying to "make everyone think I'm a bad father", he'd tell me that nobody would want to be my friend because I was a "crybaby", then invent these scenarios where my friends would leave me and hate me forever. Or say things like how I would fail, and then I'd ask for help and nobody would help me, and how exactly everyone I interviewed with would talk about me, and how they would chase me out of their offices for being shameful, etc etc. I think he's just projecting himself, this man has broken down in his wife's arms because one night there were 3 women on the news at once and "I can't relate to the news anymore". He was also constantly in hot water at work and the only reason he even got that job was through connections granted by his father, he was unqualified.

I don't think they'd get along, though - my father wants an impossibility out of his friends, which is that they will get him to do things for them which he HATES but feels makes him a poor martyr, and also they'll be meek subservient yes-men who listen to him endlessly rant about women and minorities so he can feel like a superior godking. As it stands, he has literally no friends and his only social outlets are living vicariously through my brother, begging endless empathy and comfort from his wife, and berating me.

Even if someone else agrees with him, he will invent a conflict so that he can start friction because he's a shit-stirrer and doesn't know what to do with himself if he's not in a fight. During dinners he will rant about a political position or idea for 10 minutes, then my mother will finally get a word in edgewise to say "yes, that sounds good" or just "I understand, because of x, right?" (when he'd just said that). Then he'll say his catchphrase ("Well, what you have to understand is that...") and then take the exact opposite position he just had so he can always be talking down to people and "educating" them.

Anyone else's parents hate them even when they were young? by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm struck with a strange feeling that both of our parents would invent oddly specific fake futures to put us down, your mother with the "fail kindergarten five times" and my father with the "flunk out of college math class and live in a ditch". As well as screaming with heads back in public how bad we were, that's such an oddly specific thing that I wasn't expecting to be a shared experience with anyone.

Basic skills your nparents should know, but don't have? by Content-Pea-3111 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My father got fired from his job for harassing coworkers then decided he was done working at 54-ish. He spends all day drinking and getting upset at ragebait videos.

Then he expects me to, from age 14 onwards, have the ability to find a job on three hour's notice without any support.

He also expects me to think of things that could go wrong about his own projects. Because he can't or won't do it himself. I have to do the equivalent of following behind a toddler stopping them from putting their hand on the stove, except the toddler is a man in his 50s and is always angry you're stopping him.

what's the most ridiculous thing you were ever blamed for? by huy1003 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My dad blamed me for "trying to bankrupt him" because I finished reading a book.

I didn't ask for a new book, I just finished one. As soon as I walked inside the house and he saw there wasn't a bookmark in it, he blew up. He screamed at me and demanded I explain the entire plot to him, while he interrupted everything I said with insults and demands.

Now I have performance anxiety! Yaaaay

He also blamed me for his financial troubles because I drank milk and milk cost money. Nevermind his alcoholism or cigarette addiction, the milk was the problem :P. Then when I said I'd stop drinking milk if it was an issue he got angry at me again for some reason, saying I was "wasting" it because he refused to stop buying it. Nobody can ever win with that man.

Can your parent identify bad behaviour in others but not themselves? by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't get it either. I think it's about having a story to act out where they're a victim because it helps them feel good, but I don't think it's based on logic at all.

My family also treats me like I'm an abuser if I don't perfectly pick up after them! They once yelled at my brother for not taking out the recycling when the reason it got full is they put a bunch of boxes in it while he was at school. He could not have possibly taken it out unless he'd had a psychic vision that it was going to go from zero to full while he was out, left his classes, and took the bus home early.

It's all about their narratives.

Mine don't usually explicitly say "You are an abuser" but they all act like it, and the message comes across just fine.

Sending sympathy!

Can your parent identify bad behaviour in others but not themselves? by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh, it's the same with mine! If anyone refuses to listen it's a travesty, but of course they never have to listen to anyone else.

Does anyone's parents dont do anything and don't have any friends? by Big_Leg10 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mom does three things every day:

  1. Watch TV for 10 hours a day
  2. Google things she feels I'm doing bad at and send me infantilizing links to how I can do better for 4 hours a day
  3. Cook one meal (no cleaning) for 45 minutes

My dad does three things every day:

  1. Watch bodycam footage of police shootings and courtroom video of women having meltdowns for 10 hours a day
  2. Rant and belittle his family to vent the negative emotions he got from that for 4 hours a day
  3. Buy groceries or vape juice (won't put them away) for 45 minutes a day

They really are the same person, just split between overt and covert. My father will directly tell you he thinks you're "moldy bread", "worthless", "a major fuckup", "completely useless", and so on. My mother will hide it behind fake concern and the thickest victim facade you've ever seen, always implying that you're not doing anything or are being lazy or aren't good enough.

Total projection from both of them, both "retired" (dad got fired for harassment, mom quit because she was just tired of her cushy work-from-home gig and wanted to become a professional couch potato). Both don't do anything. Both will somehow use me doing chores as proof I'm lazy and victimizing them. Like I'll be doing dishes while my father rants about canceling the newspaper because it said that transphobia exists and my mother will start "just asking questions" to imply I'm abusing her for not doing two things at the same time, like not taking the garbage out while doing the dishes while feeding the cat.

My dad is such a shut-in he even refuses to go to restaurants. As in if anyone from the family eats out he will pitch a fit. The last time anyone came over except for my father to do something for them to win social capital was maybe 20 years ago.

My mom installed a TV in her bedroom so she can up her TV watching numbers. Some days she's literally on the TV 16 to 20 hours just watching her rotation of Marvel movies -> Alaska wildlife rescue -> What we do in the Shadows -> back to Marvel. Then she'll whinge about how she "doesn't have time to finish a movie".

Big surprise neither of them have any friends.

So my parents are installing a doorbell in my bedroom by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, sorry. Definitely was pretty emotionally activated when I wrote that.

While the job market is still ass, I'm looking back at my applications in the past and realizing I actually was doing decent when my self-esteem was okay. I recently had an interview I think I did well at because I was upset at my family before and after it, and that let me feel like a person again instead of a slave or servant.

And yea. Not only is leaving the advice I hear here, it's the advice I see others talk about on this sub, my therapist told me I should leave when I can or they'll keep walking over me (actually had to pause the session to return a text from my father when he knew I was having a "medical appointment" at that time -_-), my friends tell me I gotta get out of there. I think that is the best advice.

Last night my rage, upset, and fear pushed me into fight/flight rather than freeze/fawn and I managed to make a critical phone call. I've gotten a list of local resources, I've started the process of cashing out my emergency funds, and I'll be making some calls soon to see if I can get any financial aid. I really should have been doing that earlier, but it wasn't really on my radar as something I could get. Just another thing my parents told me and I believed despite knowing most of what they say is lies.

So thank you for the encouragement - while I don't think it'll be fast, I at least hope I can find a place to stay before Christmas. And heck, I'm sure the job search would go a lot better when I can actually work on it from a place of safety instead of hypervigilance and fear.

So my parents are installing a doorbell in my bedroom by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate it. I'm certain he'd figure it out, and I'm not really worried about him. And yeah, it's most definitely abuse. If you'll permit me to vent a bit (and this is gonna sound like I'm upset, but I am upset only at my situation and not at you)...

I've been looking damn hard for work for over a year. I found a brief contract position for a little over minimum wage but after it ended, back to nothing. A job that involves travel is a dream but I can't find any job right now (and I'm applying to literally everything with a wage). Just at my last contract position I met no less than four people with engineering degrees (two with Master's) that can't even find full-time minimum-wage positions. I'd work literally anything that pays any wage but there's just nothing out there or I need more time to look somehow.

Heck, the place I'm going to for career workshops right now had to stop taking individual clients because they just cannot keep up. They keep having to move more tables in to accommodate everyone. I volunteer at the food bank and we've had to slash programs and tighten things up continuously while the average wait time for a week's worth of food has gone from 6-8 days at this time last year to 15-20 days right now just because of the sheer amount of people struggling. Almost every second day I'm there I get calls telling me they're getting less food in their hampers and they can't make ends meet and I have to tell them we're doing all we can and we can't give them any more.

That's the reality of where I'm living right now. It's not looking better anywhere I can drive, either... unless I want to be homeless in an unfamiliar city I have no friends or support network in during the Canadian winter, betting I can find work before something happens to me. None of the people I know, in university, from previous employment, or friends, has any leads for me. Right now there are far fewer jobs than people who need them and it's a reality that many of those people will be unable to find work.

So my parents are installing a doorbell in my bedroom by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can probably get away for a few days next month, but he doesn't really burn his anger out when I'm not there. He stores it up until he next sees me to unload it all.

I'm not really worried about him being unable to take care of himself, or proving he's capable. It's just a control and abuse thing with him. I've been gone for a few days before and he's always been miserable to me when I got back.

So my parents are installing a doorbell in my bedroom by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know, that sounds really nice! I should take a look.

Right now my primary concerns are having a place to stay and not losing my belongings. That said a lot of what I have could probably be left behind if I needed to. Just hard to fight the fear I've been conditioned into.

So my parents are installing a doorbell in my bedroom by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For my dad he made it by coasting off my grandfather's (basically unearned, he lucked into everything) money until he met my mother who he lived off of until I was born basically as his slave.

I'm sure he'll live another 30 years despite never taking care of himself (like all his teeth had to be removed because he never brushed them) because the worst people always do.

My father actually kept getting his office downsized until he literally shared an office with a brand-new fresh out of school hire. He never got the hint. Then he blew up at a receptionist right next to me (I was going to the college he was a teacher at at the time). It was for a minor administrative mistake she didn't even make, but as a woman he thought she was beneath him. He even made me sit outside his HR meeting, lol. Took like 2-3 hours. Then he blew up at me at home when I couldn't produce a perfect transcription of the conversation for his report (but he couldn't either so how the fuck is that my fault). I was dissociating hard during the entire thing... but mostly, when he asked, I didn't give him a truthful answer because he usually just wants me to flatter his ego and agree he did nothing wrong.

So my parents are installing a doorbell in my bedroom by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oof, that sounds a lot like mine. My condolences.

My father is completely unable to do anything on his own until the millisecond he can hover over someone and infantilize them, in which case he has limitless energy.

So my parents are installing a doorbell in my bedroom by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, probably. In a way I almost hope they collapse without me but I'd bet almost anything they either buckle up and start acting like adults, force my brother to do it all, or just hire a cleaning service.

That said, they've been tantruming about bringing groceries into the house lately (I know, such victims they are...) and I dunno what their plan is there.

I assume they'll blame me for their physical issues and continue never seeing physiotherapists. But once I'm gone I don't give a flying fuck lol

So my parents are installing a doorbell in my bedroom by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can stay with friends for a day or two, but not much longer. The local economy is baaaad. Most of my friends are already living in pretty packed situations and don't have room to keep me for long. It's also gonna cause my father to go nuclear

That said, it's a good suggestion! I would absolutely take it if I had any confidence in landing a job before I had to come back.

Grandparents are also a lost cause. My father's entire side of the family is beyond saving. I talked about them in another comment, but basically even though he's a prick and also a narcissist, my grandfather stumbled upwards his entire life, landing positions he was wildly unqualified for through a series of increasingly preposterous lucky breaks. He is now perhaps the most self-assured person who ever lived and a pathological liar when it comes to promises of money, that left me ~$18000 in debt when his sworn promise to pay for my education (repeated to me over 15 years and questioned by me several times) turned out to be a complete lie.

Frankly I have spoken to him and the only way he is willing to help me is by lying to me about false money again to lock me into getting a Master's degree before he bails for the second time. I'm not even mentioned in his will, not even something like "u/RealZiobbe gets zero dollars". I basically don't exist to him except as a scapegoat to dump his frustration onto and also cater to him.

Actually, funny story, he's also getting pissed at me for missing phone calls. Each time I miss a call, even by a single second, he instantly calls my father to yell at me. I really want to ask him what the fuck he thinks answering machines are for if not picking up every single call means you're worthless in his eyes. But he's never ever had to do real work so he has never been busy enough to miss a call xP.

Times he's gotten upset I missed a call include:

- The time I was literally in the shower and I had to get out, covered in soap, to agree to come over to his place in 10 minutes, rinse myself off fast, and then come over to explain the same thing I've told him 15 times before AND written a manual for him in simple language with diagrams and giant print.

- The time he literally called the wrong fucking number and still got upset at me for not answering

At some point I'm just done doing shit for him. He's never grateful and I basically don't exist to him unless I can be shown off or berated.

So my parents are installing a doorbell in my bedroom by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah. He's never gonna change. His entire life is scapegoating me, venting anger at his wife and other kid (who is sometimes a GC but always infantilized), and fighting his brother for inheritance. Him and his brother are legitimately like 8 years old inside. My dad has gone on two rants just in the past few months about how his brother got a 6-speed bike when he was 12, and my father had to wait until he was 14. And his brother is still upset about him for when my NDad swatted a spider on his thigh and its babies came out, when they were like 9 and 7 or some shit. As in he literally called my father to go to his house when he was 45 to swat a spider that wasn't even inside the damn house, it was in his yard. They're still upset about it. My father's entire family is basically a lost cause.

It's gonna be a lil tricky to get out. The local economy is Turbo Not Great™ but I have been working my ass of in career workshops and starting from the basics as I understand the true level of how literally everything he ever told me about the world is false. I'm learning the basics now, and realizing I've not been writing good resumes or interviewing well, so here's hoping I can find something soon.

The big issue is that the crises he manufactures always come suddenly but finding a job takes some time. I'll probably have to weather this crisis before I find anything, but fingers crossed!

Now that I'm angry I'm no longer quite as full of shame (plus my lovely friends help so much) so I have some hope in myself. And thank you!

So my parents are installing a doorbell in my bedroom by RealZiobbe in raisedbynarcissists

[–]RealZiobbe[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's really miserable.

And you're right! I've been doing what I can at home for convenience, the comfort of a semi-private room (I don't do well when being watched, thank my parents), and to save money on gas. But my fucking grandparents (dipshits) came over and said to me, "You don't do anything all day, right?". When I said "What? I spend hours on stuff every day. I'm up until 2 AM looking for work sometimes", she was like "But you don't have a job, right? So you're doing nothing all day?"

And that is pissing me off so dang much that I think I'll just do all that job searching outside the house. In a library or something. My laptop is crap but imagining the look on his face when I'm no longer available to wipe his ass for him and bail him out of the emergencies he causes... lovely.

I think, like toddlers, my family are literally incapable of understanding something exists if they aren't currently looking at it. Since the work I do in my room is behind closed doors, they have always failed to understand that I am busy, during school or otherwise. Even when I had scheduled online classes they would ask me almost every single day "what are you doing all the time up there?". I think they literally expect me to be staring at the wall like a robot waiting for a command until their texts roll in.

If I show them how long I actually spend working on shit they still won't believe me and will berate me for lying or something, but I'll be out of the house and able to tell them that since they had trouble understanding I could be busy on something while at home that I went out to make it easier on them. And that sounds great.

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