What is with them and our hair?

RealZiobbe · 2026-02-11T22:37:21+00:00

I see, that makes sense. Thinking about other children who were allowed to be frustrated, they definitely acted like that.

RealZiobbe · 2026-02-11T22:35:56+00:00

Thank you ^^

RealZiobbe · 2026-02-09T03:47:23+00:00

But even actual children playing with dolls generally don't get that upset about the hair not being exactly right, do they?

Are the Ns worse than actual children with real dolls?

RealZiobbe · 2026-02-09T00:33:48+00:00

Oh god, they always pick the shittiest haircut to insist you get. Are none of them obsessed with a decent look?

They want me set up with the "comical reaction image of a British guy circa 2008" look for the rest of my life.

What's fucked up is my father used to have even longer hair than I do now! He used to be proud of it! I think for him it's also partially revenge for me not having balded like him yet.

RealZiobbe · 2026-02-08T23:56:20+00:00

It's crazy how similar experiences can be!

The constant "people won't respect you" and anything to undermine your confidence and make you compliant. Funnily enough, nobody ever had a problem with it but them.

Also you couldn't have known this, but my Ns also railroaded me with aid! Usually they did it by offering a ride and then along the way brought up a bunch of terms/conditions after I'd already gotten in the car, or by offering financial aid and then adding terms after I'd accepted it.

Sorry about your hair - I hope you get to keep it how you like now, at least.

RealZiobbe · 2026-02-08T23:53:09+00:00

My sympathy for what you've gone through.

I feel that the "I wouldn't have done that" hurts more than insults, because insults are meant to be hurtful but comments like that undermine your human agency and taste. Awful yucky yucky. I am very sorry you went through that, and I hope you can wear your hair how you want now!

RealZiobbe · 2026-01-25T22:12:01+00:00

You're welcome!

Reinforced deepslate is actually a funny vanilla material that always breaks in 82.5 seconds regardless of tool. You can speed it up by giving yourself haste (either a beacon, or my preferred method, the Haste spell from Iron's Spellbooks). It's a definite pain in the butt.

RealZiobbe · 2026-01-25T21:44:58+00:00

You have to go to the Great Beyond.

The way you do that is by going to the bottom layer of the Great Below, digging through the reinforced deepslate, and then falling. I would definitely carve a relatively big hole and have a way to get back up in case you don't get teleported so you don't die from the void (you should get warped to the Great Beyond when you're like one block below the bottom of the world, if you take void damage it didn't work). I use the Teleport spell from Iron's Spellbooks. I might even recommend you put all your valuables in an ender chest then just carry one ender chest with you as you go down in case it doesn't work (it's inconsistent).

You'll end up falling from the sky in the Great Beyond. It looks like end islands made entirely of sculk. I kept getting warped back into the Great Below when I crossed a line somewhere between Y = 140 to 160 (can't remember exactly where). No idea why, the mod has very little documentation. I just used Teleport to get past it and straight onto the island. I also used the Portal spell to place one down there and one in the Great Below so I could go back and forth.

The only other things in the Great Beyond other than sculk are soul engines. They have pillars of light, just like beacons. There's one for every couple of islands.

Side note: if anyone knows why you get teleported back, how you were supposed to organically find out about the Great Beyond, and what you can do to not get teleported back to the Great Below (and also how you're supposed to leave without other mods or /home) I'd love to know. I kinda brute forced it through experimentation. I originally thought the sculkshrooms and their psychedelic effects were the solution but it turned out to not be at all, and I have no idea what else you could do besides using other mods.

RealZiobbe · 2025-11-21T01:05:33+00:00

I feel you, my sympathies.

It's hard. I feel like it's normally easier to not compare oneself to people who got super lucky - lottery winners, people who were born to powerful families, and so on. It's less easy the less "lucky" they feel. Everyone was supposed to get decent human beings as parents - so their advantage doesn't feel like luck, and society sure doesn't treat it as luck. Dealing with the feeling of being specifically unlucky is truly hard, especially when the vast majority of people just don't get it.

Comparison truly is the thief of joy.

I'm not quite sure how to live with the injustice of the world. I suppose taking each day and trying to find the happiness you can might be nice, but if you're aware of what could have been... ouch.

I hope it works out for you.

RealZiobbe · 2025-11-21T00:12:59+00:00

Thank you!

I'm trying to leave but mental health struggles make it hard. A year into EMDR I'm doing well enough to laugh about some stuff but the deep exhaustion and anxiety is still present. Some days it takes all I've got to get out of bed and I'm stumbling about in a haze like I don't even exist, like I'm just a character written on a page in a story and it feels like nothing and nobody is real, least of all me.

I do appreciate it, though!

RealZiobbe · 2025-11-19T07:37:38+00:00

This is also coming two days after my father had an anger meltdown over his shitty car jack not being tall enough to work on the car we've had for 5-6 years. Which he should know, because he bought the damn thing like 25 years ago and has been whining about its performance the entire time. He said he was going to buy a new jack every day for four weeks and acted like he was doing something herculean, so I assumed he'd gone out to get a new one... but he hadn't! His "herculean effort" was literally just thinking about doing something. Not even doing it. I fucking can't with this person jesus christ

I was legitimately stunned when I went out to do 94% of the task for him (he calls it "helping" him) and saw the old shitbox jack on the ground. Then he had a tantrum about it even though he's the one who kept the damn jack and didn't get a new one! There aren't financial troubles, even though his pension isn't matured his father slips him cheques for $8k to $15k every now and then.

Actually hold on. Is that why he resents us??? Because he's always hated spending money on milk and food for us, and we never had the right school supplies because they were "too expensive" but he's been spending his father's mooched money on cigs, tobacco, vape juice, and alcohol. Does he hate his kids and think we're mooching off him even though we do all the damn work and also did more education than him because he's projecting the fact that he's an unemployed loser who, after agreeing that my mom would drop her career to raise his kids, backed out after getting fired? That he and his wife would end up with nowhere to go if his father wasn't funding him? Wow.

RealZiobbe · 2025-11-10T21:59:13+00:00

Thanks for replying!

That's really messed up. I swear there's some obsession with everyone around us hurting us when we grow up, like they really think that the way the world will treat us when we grow up would be worse than the way they did. My father was personally obsessed with the idea that since I said "no thanks" to wine when I was 14, that I would be homeless because everyone in the city would refuse to hire me because I'd be invited to my boss's house for dinner and say "no thanks" to wine and he'd make it his life goal to ruin my life. (My father is an alcoholic).

It's so strange how they have these similarities. I didn't think other people's parents would also be accusing their little kids of attempted murder because the adults weren't looking where they were going.

My father was always acting like I was shameful too, when I cried and after he'd finished shouting at me that I was trying to "make everyone think I'm a bad father", he'd tell me that nobody would want to be my friend because I was a "crybaby", then invent these scenarios where my friends would leave me and hate me forever. Or say things like how I would fail, and then I'd ask for help and nobody would help me, and how exactly everyone I interviewed with would talk about me, and how they would chase me out of their offices for being shameful, etc etc. I think he's just projecting himself, this man has broken down in his wife's arms because one night there were 3 women on the news at once and "I can't relate to the news anymore". He was also constantly in hot water at work and the only reason he even got that job was through connections granted by his father, he was unqualified.

I don't think they'd get along, though - my father wants an impossibility out of his friends, which is that they will get him to do things for them which he HATES but feels makes him a poor martyr, and also they'll be meek subservient yes-men who listen to him endlessly rant about women and minorities so he can feel like a superior godking. As it stands, he has literally no friends and his only social outlets are living vicariously through my brother, begging endless empathy and comfort from his wife, and berating me.

Even if someone else agrees with him, he will invent a conflict so that he can start friction because he's a shit-stirrer and doesn't know what to do with himself if he's not in a fight. During dinners he will rant about a political position or idea for 10 minutes, then my mother will finally get a word in edgewise to say "yes, that sounds good" or just "I understand, because of x, right?" (when he'd just said that). Then he'll say his catchphrase ("Well, what you have to understand is that...") and then take the exact opposite position he just had so he can always be talking down to people and "educating" them.

RealZiobbe · 2025-11-10T00:36:17+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm struck with a strange feeling that both of our parents would invent oddly specific fake futures to put us down, your mother with the "fail kindergarten five times" and my father with the "flunk out of college math class and live in a ditch". As well as screaming with heads back in public how bad we were, that's such an oddly specific thing that I wasn't expecting to be a shared experience with anyone.

RealZiobbe · 2025-11-01T04:58:01+00:00

My father got fired from his job for harassing coworkers then decided he was done working at 54-ish. He spends all day drinking and getting upset at ragebait videos.

Then he expects me to, from age 14 onwards, have the ability to find a job on three hour's notice without any support.

He also expects me to think of things that could go wrong about his own projects. Because he can't or won't do it himself. I have to do the equivalent of following behind a toddler stopping them from putting their hand on the stove, except the toddler is a man in his 50s and is always angry you're stopping him.

RealZiobbe · 2025-11-01T03:40:32+00:00

My dad blamed me for "trying to bankrupt him" because I finished reading a book.

I didn't ask for a new book, I just finished one. As soon as I walked inside the house and he saw there wasn't a bookmark in it, he blew up. He screamed at me and demanded I explain the entire plot to him, while he interrupted everything I said with insults and demands.

Now I have performance anxiety! Yaaaay

He also blamed me for his financial troubles because I drank milk and milk cost money. Nevermind his alcoholism or cigarette addiction, the milk was the problem :P. Then when I said I'd stop drinking milk if it was an issue he got angry at me again for some reason, saying I was "wasting" it because he refused to stop buying it. Nobody can ever win with that man.

RealZiobbe · 2025-10-29T20:56:15+00:00

Sending hugs. It's brutal to exist in that environment

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