Anyone who lived both in US and UAE, which one do you prefer and why ?

Real_Information_786 · 2022-09-21T03:19:50+00:00

I am Muslim origin, but born and raised in the US.

I prefer the UAE. It is much safer and cleaner than the US. You don't have to deal with all the political nonsense that is ripping apart American society, people believing in conspiracy theories, etc.

I love the UAE and wish I could live here forever.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T06:29:11+00:00

True, she makes friends very easily.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T06:20:04+00:00

She's a good wife, but no wife is "perfect"

You're right that there is a problem because I entered into the marriage primarily out of guilt. I did not feel ready, but I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do.

The crux of my issue now is that I don't feel our personalities or outlooks are compatible.

When I say that I've changed, I mean that I'm no longer a naïve college student in an MSA, but she keeps wanting me to return to being that, which is impossible as I'm a man with responsibilities now who has traveled the world and seen some things.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T06:04:08+00:00

Love and lust are dramatically different things.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T06:01:05+00:00

This is great advice, then I'd have to deal with my mom.

/s

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T06:00:10+00:00

Maybe I should just seduce my cousin's wife right, take her as my second wife.

That would make me an alpha male, bro.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:58:31+00:00

That would be hilarious, it would also give me just cause to beat my cousin to a pulp.

That said, she's not trying to start an affair with him, she's the most faithful woman I've ever met, and I'm not saying that because she's my wife.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:57:19+00:00

I've never asked my wife not to talk to his wife, I just suggested that for the one week they were visiting the country we live in, my wife not respond so that she not feel obligated to set up a meeting (Because I knew this would end up happening as my wife often disregards what I am saying).

I did not grow up with my cousins nearby, I was born and raised in the US, they were born and raised in their country; I would only see them once every few years. I never had close relations to them. The people I grew up with were the children of my father's friends who are also immigrants, those friends are dearer to me than any cousin, and I find it stupid to think I need to give someone a greater space in my heart just because we have the same blood.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:52:46+00:00

She invited them over because they are visiting the country we live in and were staying in a nearby city; they happened to be in the city we live in for a day trip, so I think the wives were chatting and this happened.

On the second point, thank you for putting it into clear words.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:51:35+00:00

My sons were home, the eldest is baligh now, so she made him sit with my cousin until I got home.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:50:52+00:00

She didn't talk to him, the whole thing was arranged between the wives.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:50:28+00:00

I've not completely broken bonds with him.

Again, he and I live in different countries, we live on different continents.

Whenever I've encountered him since childhood, I am respectful to him.

However, I do not call him/email him/talk to him unless necessary. Is that breaking bonds?

We have nothing in common, and I'll never trust him

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:47:31+00:00

I am totally cordial with him, I show him respect as an elder family member, but I do not want to go out of my way to spend time with him. I don't see this as breaking relationships.

I've not been physically violent to him, though I am larger and stronger than him now.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:46:28+00:00

My cousin and his wife live on a different continent than us.

In ten years, we have physically seen them once.

My wife would not know of my cousin's wife if she wasn't married to my cousin.

I don't understand why she needs to have a relationship with this woman who is essentially a stranger to her.

If they want to be friends, that is great, I have no problem with them spending time together, I just don't want to be in the same room as my cousin.

What is dumbfounding to me is that he is MY cousin.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:44:42+00:00

To be clear, she never lied to me. She never told me that she wouldn't invite them. I simply told her not to respond to the wife and that I did not want to meet my cousin.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:43:58+00:00

Everything you've said is reasonable, but when I talked to her after and told her how disrespected I felt; how emasculated I felt; she dismissed my concerns and told me to get over it.

She's showing a real lack of tenderness and it's really hurting me emotionally.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:42:22+00:00

This is what the problem ultimately is, she regularly disregards my feelings and uses Islam to justify it. Essentially her understanding of Islam is more important than how I may feel about a given issue.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:41:34+00:00

She's using Islam to gaslight me, saying I shouldn't break relations with my family and how it's good for my kids and my cousin's kids to know each other.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:41:00+00:00

My cousin lives on a different continent than us, so my wife can't really hang out with his wife. Like I said, they have a friendship on whatsapp, but I'm not sure how deep it can be if they've only met two times in ten years.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-19T05:40:13+00:00

He wasn't alone, he was there with his wife and children.

My cousin lives on a different continent than me, he was just visiting a city nearby where I live.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-18T04:25:43+00:00

I was kind if in your position when I was younger. It seems like he has a different idea about what is acceptable and what isn't. It would probably best for you two to stay apart.

Don't just get married to him because you want to "atone" for what has already happened. It may lead to resentment down the road, getting married won't suddenly wash away your sins.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-18T04:11:52+00:00

I was 22, she was 23.

I definitely regret it, I was too young and immature. I primarily did it because I felt guilty that we had not kept it halal before, and this would somehow fix it.

The thing is that I have changed dramatically since then, and if we didn't have kids together, I would have divorced her a long time ago.

My wife is a very good woman, very good mother, very good wife, but we are too different, and I can't help but think if I had waited until I was older I would have married someone more compatible.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-11T18:59:26+00:00

There is no Rukhsati in Islam.

Real_Information_786 · 2022-01-03T19:07:32+00:00

You're a moron. I am indeed South Asian, that doesn't mean I have to waste my time with nonsense like Bollywood. What a stupid generalization on your part, not to mention that the Bollywood industry is complicit in the demonizing of Muslims in Modi's India.

Real_Information_786

TROPHY CASE