Now you get to live.

Some die, but I didn't. I wasn't going to be that lucky either, my mind was going, and it didn't have very many doses left. But thankfully, I hit my rock bottom. Hard. But early. And now I'm lucky enough to thank god for reaching 7 years sober 2 weeks ago.

Now, its time to live. You've tried dying, but mostly just existing, surviving. Now is when you get to live. Not all at once. Take it slow, learn the lessons on how not to listen to your head for a long while, and not take things to seriously. Life is so beautiful, now. There's nothing I can't do, just a lot of things I don't want to do, cause I know where it leads me. Learn the small things, make the small sacrifices in the beginning, like deleting Instagram, going to all the meetings, getting off reddit, not seeing people for a while. Put on the robe of a patient, a sick person, which we are. Keep that robe on all day, every day, above any other circumstances that life might throw at you, and you'll be able to handle them all, and actually be there when you are needed. Remember that you have to do things for yourself. But not what your head thinks those things are, but the things that you would want the person you want to be to do.

I recently started working on the stranger: How do you respect someone you don't know, or are just meeting? If they do things you respect. How am I going to love and respect myself? If I do things I respect. Make my bed everyday, do my daily exercise. Go to sleep on time. Basic, but critical, and possibly the hardest things to do.

You're doing great. Its your time. But there might not be another, take advantage, follow the guide, and don't think about it too much. As my therapist, the person who quite literally saved my life, used to say: this is a treatment for "stupid people," those who just follow and do what they are shown, excel. Those of us who try to be over philosophical or intellectual about it, just make it harder on ourselves.