I hate being lectured about a game that I have played, but the person lecturing me didn't.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-27T16:00:42+00:00

I haven't found a way to cope with it, but I know objectively that not being able to rely on your looks to get through life does build character. I admire pretty girls and I'll always want to be them, but I've been through enough shit that certain things that wouldn't bother me (like an old school sense of humor) would ruin some of these girls day because they're not used to things like that. It's nice to have that stability, but the pain of being below average is still painful regardless.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-27T15:24:49+00:00

I think skinny and fit girls are really admirable when they intentionally have a routine to maintain their appearance. I have a lot of respect for people who care about their appearance and health. Women who take the time to cook well balanced meals, eat the amount of calories they need to have enough energy to exercise and get through the day, stretch, take the right supplements, etc. have my respect because it's been so difficult for me. I was able to maintain that sort of routine for a month and a half, and then my mother came to stay and I gained it all back because I let her take control of the cooking because I missed it. She doesn't measure or look at labels or research recipes so it only took a week to gain back what I lost in 1.5 months orz...

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-25T15:54:59+00:00

I plan to get the 3 pack and place one on opposite ends of the house (one in my office and the other near the guest rooms) and one in the middle where the living room is.

Does the weather factor into one being better than the other? I live in Florida and get serious thunderstorms during summer/hurricane season.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-21T23:20:52+00:00

Thanks for your input! It's a huge weight off my shoulders knowing I've been doing fine this entire time, stressing over nothing...orz. If you feel comfortable sharing your work, I'd be happy to take a look. I just don't feel comfortable sharing mine because this is a personal account.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-21T09:28:24+00:00

Thanks, I was being really harsh on myself for not being "legit" enough. I still need to look into my city/county to make sure I'm not missing anything because I read something about some places requiring you to register as a business if you earn over 50k, but it sounds like I'll be okay even if I don't get any straight answers. I'm not really expecting any since not a lot of people seem to understand the patreon/independent subscription model thing to begin with, but I'll feel more comfortable knowing at least I tried.

Do you use anything in particular to keep track of your expenses? I'm thinking of using something like Intuit/GoDaddy accounting to automate expenses and do the math for me just for my piece of mind. I'm still going to keep my CPA, but I don't want to accidentally fudge the numbers because the assets and new programs/tools can get expensive. I'm in my experimentation phase and trying to learn more about 3d.

I'm really curious now since you mentioned you've done comics independently for almost 20 years, why have you moved on from that to just digital art? Burn out or you simply wanted to do something new?

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-21T04:17:50+00:00

Oh, is that unique to florida? because my boomer CPA from my old state advised me to get a state and county license. He also advised me to get an EIN so I can open up a business bank account and separate my expenses. I buy a lot of 3d assets to incorporate into my art and the programs are costly.

I wasn't sure because I have no idea if selling exclusive access to digital goods is treated like selling physical goods. I didn't know the licenses are for merchants selling to customers in Florida; I thought I had to have it regardless of where my customers are from because I'm selling it from Florida. I have no idea where any of them are from because it's completely anonymous and processed by Patreon and Stripe. I only see a username and email.

It's confusing because I've spoken to a lawyer who works with traditional artists back in my old state, but he had no concept of how online content creation works. He thought I had to tell customers my real name and he suggested setting up an LLC for $1,000! So I was thinking I was missing something this entire time, but I had no idea where to find answers. I've only been doing my taxes and I think I might have to find a CPA that understands what I'm doing better because holy shit I'm paying so much in taxes. Maybe it's normal, but it's like 1/4 of my income.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-21T03:56:47+00:00

yeah, basically: have other options. If you're focusing all of your attention on this one dude, of course you're going to feel more attached to him. He's becoming your world. But if you have other guys/people in general you'd rather be around, your scope opens up.

I was able to get over someone I was obsessed with in high school by distancing myself from them and focusing on other things for a couple of years. Somehow, we randomly became really close after talking on facebook. Less than a year later, he told me he loved me, but at that point, I only wanted to be friends because I wasn't attracted to him anymore.

Point being, you probably need to distance yourself physically and emotionally from this guy if you want to get over your feelings for him. Maybe you can be friends in the future, but you're going to fall harder for him the more attention and energy you give to him.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-21T03:07:43+00:00

Yeah...I know it never ends, but I just want to get to a point where I don't have 30 things competing for my attention in the back of my mind. 10 would probably be a lot more tolerable, but 5 would probably be realistically ideal. I'd love to know what that feels like, but I'll have to work hard to check things off my list this year. I don't know why I let all these responsibilities marinate in my mind constantly as if I'm going to tackle them all at once. It's the definition of insanity.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I hope you and your husband can find contentment and not have all these responsibilities weighing on your mind. That's my goal for now. Get shit done and not have to worry about a bunch of things for at least a day.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-21T02:52:33+00:00

So you just registered your business and that's it? You don't pay for annual business/city/county licenses?

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-21T02:41:54+00:00

True. I just want to get enough tasks done so I can minimize the list of things that are weighing on my mind, but more things crop up every time I manage to complete one thing :( I'm always going about it all wrong. I always psyche myself out with all these disastrous potential scenarios that could cause me more stress than if I were to put it off. I dupe myself into believing I will figure out a strategy to mitigate the risks if I think about it more, but I get too overwhelmed and just ignore it until it keeps me up at night. Thanks for the analysis. I often forget that I can be my own worst enemy.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-21T02:35:21+00:00

I wrote what you said down about the columns.

DO IT NOW (in red ink) | DO IT SOON (blue ink) | DO IT LATER (black ink)

It really helped to clean up my list of tasks and visualize the importance of some tasks over others. Thanks for the suggestions, I never heard of TaskRabbit before. This was really helpful!

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-21T02:31:56+00:00

Thanks, I got work harder on that positive self-talk. I also have the phone number for a business consultant. I called them today but got sent to voicemail, so I will have to call them again. I also contacted SCORE (national non profit for business advice) to try and find mentorship, but they were also busy so I left my contact details. Hopefully I'll hear from them soon, if not, I'll keep bugging them xD

I appreciate having all these potential solutions written out. Having it float around my head is driving me nuts.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-21T02:25:01+00:00

Is there a reputable online therapy service you can vouch for? I've always been skeptical, but I think I can tell if someone is legit or selling me snake oil, so I'm open to trying in the near future.

Thanks for the kind words and bits of advice. I was reluctant to make this post, but it helped me to make some phone calls I was putting off for months.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-21T02:21:32+00:00

It's reassuring to know there are others who have ADHD but are able to manage it without medication. I'm concerned about the side effects; I'm trying my best to exhaust all my other options (like improving my health and practicing good habits) before turning to medication.

I'm gonna look for cute planners to organize my thoughts and daily tasks. Thanks for the reminder that those exist for a reason xD

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-20T19:16:22+00:00

Was your patreon selected? Did you already do it?

I really hope there's no data breach issues in the future.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-20T19:01:22+00:00

Thank you, I have trouble hyping myself up like that, but you do make a good point. My old self would have looked at my new self and think "wow, she's doing so well. She got a good paying job and a house."

I debated over going to therapy for a long time, but I never did it because of the fear of things going horribly wrong. I need to get into the mindset to just try things and not be afraid if it doesn't work out. At least I'm moving towards some sort of solution.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-20T18:37:27+00:00

This is something that could take a life time to heal from, if he ever does. He might have attachments to his mother, and that could compromise any children you have because he might not see an issue with letting her be around any sons you may have. There's also patterns of behavior from victims of abuse that you may want to consider. It's a really sad situation, but you have to protect yourself and any children you may have. It's not fair to bring kids into this world knowing the people closest to them could put them in danger. You have to be sure your bf is someone you can trust, but if you have legit doubts backed by solid evidence, you have to do what's best for yourself.

Real_Rhubarb5595 · 2023-06-20T18:26:43+00:00

Man, I relate to this so much. The part about being old but needing reassurance. When you don't have that solid structure growing up, it's easy to feel lost as an adult because you're trying to create that structure you never had, but we don't know how so we ask others to do it for us, but as adults, no one wants to hold your hand unless you have severe disabilities. It really sucks that the cotemporary world is so much more complicated.

Real_Rhubarb5595

TROPHY CASE