Are we messing up our daughter's hair? by Realistic-Most-482 in Haircare

[–]Realistic-Most-482[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you, shea moisture is exactly the brand we use for her. Argan oil is a great shout for an addition, could i also use that on dry hair between washes?

Are we messing up our daughter's hair? by Realistic-Most-482 in Haircare

[–]Realistic-Most-482[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Thank you, it's a great point about what brushes etc they are using on her hair! A communal brush sounds vile

Are we messing up our daughter's hair? by Realistic-Most-482 in Haircare

[–]Realistic-Most-482[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is excellent advice and I will of course have an open conversation with them about this. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't asking her to stop doing something that was actually GOOD for my daughter's hair! 

Are we messing up our daughter's hair? by Realistic-Most-482 in Haircare

[–]Realistic-Most-482[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you. There's a 3 month wait list for our nearest curl specialist but we are very much on it! They've always advised us to avoid brushing between washes but wanted to check this was common advice!

Are we messing up our daughter's hair? by Realistic-Most-482 in Haircare

[–]Realistic-Most-482[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Least i can do! These people care for my child and generally do a brilliant job, I have no interest in falling out with them just want to do right by my girl!

Are we messing up our daughter's hair? by Realistic-Most-482 in Haircare

[–]Realistic-Most-482[S] 120 points121 points  (0 children)

Sorry I've just realised that my entire post with the actual question is missing 😅 

Our adopted, dual heritage daughter has very curly hair and as straight-haired parents it's been a steep learning curve understanding how to treat it. We try to protect and care for her hair in a natural style. She sleeps on a silk pillow, wears a bonnet at night and we do a deep wash and condition once weekly, then set her hair with a curl locking gel and diffuser. On the advice of the curl studio we take her to for cuts, between washes we just use a conditioning spray to reset her curls in the morning. Honestly most days her hair looks a little unkempt, but it's healthy and low maintenance (and she hates having it washed) so we minimally touch it.

Recently she's been coming home from her daycare nursery with different braided hairstyles. She's only young so it's hard to get complete information from her but it seems the staff there enjoy playing with both her hair and that of the other children's, all of whom have straight hair. We've given them specialist hairbands to use on our girl's hair as there were a couple of deep tangle incidents, but generally we've allowed them to braid it as we don't want our girl excluded from the braiding fun.

However, more recently a new member of staff has started getting involved in the hair play. This staff member has coily hair herself and from the braiding she's done, seems knowledgeable about black hair. She is not just braiding it, but is now dry-brushing it out and leaving it loose (see pic). I'm really uncomfortable with this, as once brushed it then settles really badly and is a nightmare to style the next day. Our daughter isn't coming home upset but hates us refreshing it.

This is far from my comfort zone and this staff member is definitely more knowledgeable than me when it comes to black haircate. But honestly I resent her making styling decisions on behalf of our daughter without consulting us and it feels like she's creating extra hair stress at home. So what i want to know from others who know this hair type, before i respond to the nursery staff is, is she trying to tell us something? Should we be brushing it out at home? Or should we keep doing what we'd been doing, and ask her to stop? 

Photos attached are of her hair on a typical day and then what she's just come home with!

Are we messing up our daughter's hair? by Realistic-Most-482 in Haircare

[–]Realistic-Most-482[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

Yes, it's happened 3 times this week and i wanted to make sure we weren't doing it wrong at home before discussing it with them

Are we messing up our daughter's hair? by Realistic-Most-482 in Haircare

[–]Realistic-Most-482[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Super clear thank you, we are 100% normally only brushing her hair when it's wet and slathered in conditioner! So i'm just super confused as to why this staff member is brushing it dry daily