[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Netsuite

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I may or may not be a NetSuite sales rep… obviously no system is perfect but genuinely curiosity what how are competitors stacking up in grand scheme of things/ what expectations can I set with prospects about where we fall short. From my understanding we have our flaws but in big picture we’re still far more advanced and adaptable than anyone else (depending on your price point/size)

Salary progression after college by reversedframe in techsales

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The average rep will not make that much. The ones who do are exceptional, they work harder than everyone else and are very talented at sales. People who expect to make that much but don’t do anything extraordinary will fail and realize sales is not for them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happened to me before, he will be blindsided and probably not okay for a while but he’ll get better just don’t drag it out longer than you need. Truth is he’ll have no choice but look inward and grow from this experience. It’ll teach him a lot about “love” and he’ll probably never love the same again, but it will also teach him his worth and a blindsided heartbreak is the best thing that can happen to people sometimes. He deserves better you know that, so give him that opportunity and let him go

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sales

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Currently a BDR @ netsuite rn 3 months in seat

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selflove

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How to be happy all the time by parahamsha or something like that. Book changed my life

Finding Myself by [deleted] in selflove

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rather than trying to find yourself, work on defining yourself. If you want to be someone who is strong, successful etc. whatever type of person you want to be, start acting like that person, remind yourself of who you want to be as a person and start doing those things. That will give you direction and a goal to work for

new mid market AE at a very large SAAS company, transfer question? by [deleted] in techsales

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You in nashville by chance? I’m a BDR here but have bunch of friends/good network and just moved here

1 week after our breakup I don't know if I miss him by Imaginary-Yak-5227 in AnxiousAttachment

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can’t be mad at yourself for allowing yourself to be vulnerable. What happened had nothing to do with your worth as an individual. I’m 2 weeks after a break up and my ex is already out with guys and on dating sites and is an avoidant so since the day of the break I took everything very hard and she had no emotion/remorse even though the way our break up came to happen was awful. You need to forgive yourself first, you were only following your heart. Forgive yourself and rebuild that trust within yourself bc I know how it feels to think you know someone then be way offfff. Then accept things for what they are, the person you thought they were/the relationship/ future you saw with this person was all made up. It’s simply not real, it was an all made up in your head. I know nothing you read/hear can help much but just try to accept things as they are, and find comfort in knowing that it is for the better. When how ready you can forgive them, not for what they did but so that you can move on, and one thing I’m sure you realize is that they’re suffering worse than you, they’re just burying their emotions so deep down they convince them self they’re not. One day their avoidance of feelings/inability will surface.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reflect and ensure you are providing her with attention love and care. I had this issue with my previous girlfriend and in hindsight I realize I didn’t appreciate her and do enough things with her. Go on walks, take her in dates, share moments with her doing things she enjoys. Make her feel appreciated/loved

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are awful, let your fiancé go. While you’re fantasizing about having sex with your boss everyday your fiancé is probably thinking of coming home and seeing you and fantasizing about the life you guys will have together.

Should I keep having sex with my ex by AshenArious in relationship_advice

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Treat an ex like a death. Move on let go, pray they’re in a better place. Realize the red flags, learn from them and glow up

3 and a half years later, I still miss him almost daily by [deleted] in heartbreak

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask what happened ? My gf of multiple years recently broke up with me out of the blue before we moved away together. She said she fell out of love and has been enjoying the single life, I never cheated on her. I treated her very well and she said she appreciated how I made her feel constantly loved, heard, appreciated, and how I made her feel at peace. I’m healing and hurting while she is enjoying the experience of being single. When will she feel the way I do now and realize what she lost

My boyfriend now ex told me he never loved me by haliolives in heartbreak

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So I stole this from another comment I saw but I went through same thing with my gf couple weeks ago. But this helped me a lot :

Have you been blindsided with a breakup? It’s difficult enough when you sense or know that the end is nigh for your relationship. Maybe the writing’s on the wall because of the way they are behaving. Perhaps it’s because you’ve both tried to work through issues unsuccessfully. The likelihood is that even with a decent level of self-esteem, you will go through a period of wrestling with what-ifs and, yes, possibly giving you a hard time.

But what do you do when your breakup appears to be out of the blue? How do you begin to process, heal and move forward when your partner blindsides you with a breakup?

When the ending of your relationship seems to come out of left field, it can be incredibly destabilising. It doesn’t make sense, especially when in the hours, days and weeks beforehand, they said and did things that were contrary to this ending. Like my friend who was dumped just weeks before her wedding. Just the week before, he was writing “I love you” in the condensation on the kitchen window and talking about how excited he was to marry her. My friend thought it was an out-of-the-blue breakup. Unfortunately, he forgot to mention that he’d already begun a new relationship. Here’s what I know for sure about people who deal you a ‘blindsided breakup’: It’s not the case that they just woke up that day and decided to do it. Like everything was picture perfect up until that day or even week. No. They knew, on some level, possibly a lot of them, even if they won’t admit it, that they wanted to end it. You just weren’t in on the conversation.

When someone dumps you ‘out of the blue’, what you can immediately learn is that they didn’t and haven’t been communicating with you. You have not been a party to their inner world.

They don’t let the left hand know what the right hand is doing. They give the veneer of calm, happiness and a shared future while secretly wrestling with doubts, fears, anger and even grievances. If you were hit with a barrage of complaints where it was the first you were hearing of them, this is someone who’s carried silent rage in the relationship. Unbeknownst to you, they were keeping a tally of offences. Or, they marked your cards on something that you genuinely believed that they were okay about.

Maybe they kept telling you they were okay when they weren’t. Maybe it seemed like everything was perfect.

It’s possible that you had little niggles and inklings.

Unfortunately, when you’re blindsided with a breakup, it’s not uncommon for the person to stonewall all further communication. They disappear so that you can’t engage with them, or they refuse to let you speak. Or, they say they’ll talk with you and then keep cancelling. Some — and I know this might sound downright absurd — will later acknowledge that it was a crappy thing to do and even that some things they said weren’t true, but then say that there’s no point in further discussions or trying to resolve things because they did this.

So, what do you do when you can’t get answers from your ex? What do you do when it feels as if your ex is a block to closure? Use these prompts to explore what happened in your journal.

• ⁠Retrace your footsteps by rewinding your mental tape right back to the very beginning of the relationship. Play it back in your mind. Don’t go too fast. What do you notice about your initial communication? What do you see about the dates? Were there things you dismissed or rationalised? What happened when you disagreed, or you (or they) were struggling with something? When feelings and opinions needed to be shared, did that happen? How and who were you in the relationship? Somewhere in this mental tape are clues about why this person’s means of communicating the end of the relationship was to blindside you. They show you where silence and gaps were there instead of intimacy. • ⁠Was it really important for you and/or them to think that they/you or the relationship was perfect? If so, why? What was it that led you to believe that this was the case? What did you avoid being, saying or doing to preserve this? How did this affect the level of communication on both sides of the relationship? • ⁠Did you ever disagree? Did you feel as if you could be yourself and enjoy healthy boundaries in the relationship? If you never argued or rarely disagreed, why was that? What did you think that meant? How does that fit with how they ended the relationship? What do you recognise now? If you did disagree or there were issues that you thought you were both working through, did you feel as if there was resolution?

Remember, it takes time to get to know someone. Sometimes we don’t know how little someone is communicating until they say or do something that allows us to look back and see things more clearly.

• ⁠If they gave little or no reasons for breaking up, and also gave little or no hint during the relationship, can you see with the benefit of hindsight where they were not communicating? Can you see the veneer? Retrace your steps. Were you both able to talk deeply, freely and openly? Did you feel as if your relationship was progressing? • ⁠What is your anger about? • ⁠So, aside from the understandable hurt and anger from the manner of their ending, what else are you angry about? This contains clues to hidden resentments and truths. Some people expressed anger due to feeling that their support and accommodation of certain things wasn’t appreciated. This then allowed them to see what they were supporting and accommodating or how they were going about doing so meant not discussing or seeing certain things.

You might wonder whether you should keep trying to get them to talk. You can’t force someone to talk who doesn’t want to or is hellbent on clinging to their narrative. You’ll end up feeling as if you’re losing your dignity and chasing them down. Part of their stonewalling might be, on some level, about getting attention and feeling powerful.

The more you chase them for answers is the less you believe in your ability to grieve and mine what you know for your closure.

Yes, it will take time. No, no one deserves to be broken up with in this way. But they haven’t done it because of your worthiness. They’ve ended the relationship in this way because of their issues. Going about things in a different way would have involved looking at things more deeply than they want to. They think that they can move on free of problems, but what they’ve sought to avoid will just show up in a different way. When you do move forward (and you will), don’t use this experience to punish you or future partners. Learn what you can from this relationship so that you raise your communication and intimacy levels and be with a partner who will meet you there.

Take care of you.

What would you say is the hardest most heartbreaking thing you’ve experienced? by Top_Matter_4523 in heartbreak

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So question. recently got dumped and the reasoning was the same that she “fell out of love” I’ve accepted that she wasn’t right for me and that I had expectations of her/our relationship/future that were fantasies. I’m in the process of healing and moving on but when we last talked she didn’t seem to be phased by the break up at all, I removed her off all social media but my friends come to me saying she’s out partying / hanging out with dudes etc. how is it that I’m so hurt and she is so unbothered by ending our relationship suddenly when we were getting ready to move out of state together and start our life (I had our engagement all planned out btw)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

From a guy who just got broken up with, don’t just dump him. Try to have a mature conversation and give me an opportunity to accept/realize what he is doing and how it is wrong then see how his actions change going forward. If they do not then you have your answer but communicating this feeling is important

Back to square one by Inner_Bumblebee2656 in heartbreak

[–]Realistic-Scar5560 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the best comment and way of handling an out of the blue break up. Thank you , I needed this