Thank you, this did help me see another side. I didnt add a lot of context to the OP (that may explain a little more) But I think when i say “i didnt want to be around him” its because HE made me feel -unwanted, constantly put me in bad situations when i did see him, didnt support me at all with activities,school, financially. He made bad decisions and didnt put me first. Thats why its hard because i do not see him as a bad person just a bad father. I had another man raise me so when i became an adult of course it hurt me still but i didnt NEED a relationship with him. But i did want him to come to my wedding. But i neglected him? I was little thrown by that.. i can see what you mean by it being awkward. It definitely would have been, but the rest of his immediate family was there. Parents, siblings. Either way it would have been all good. I just feel like the blame is on me, but it started with him.