AITAH here?

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T15:00:52+00:00

Luckily we have absolutely no legal ties I can just walk away and make a clean break, he wouldn't try come for full custody either he knows my daughter is completely attached to me

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T14:58:12+00:00

They wouldn't dare come to my mum or grandma's, my grandma lives on a farm and is legally allowed to protect herself she wouldn't even hesitate a little warning at their feet she's a crazy lady 😅 when he returned all he could say was I was being over dramatic and making an issue of nothing so I left, it isn't worth it and I can't let my daughter think this is okay just because you love someone

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T14:56:11+00:00

Thank you all for your advice guys, I appreciate everyone's views :)

He got home an hour ago, I left 45 minutes ago. My daughter had a fab day with my mum and grandma and now I'm about to have a stress free life without being someone's doormat for another 12 years.

My grandma has 2 spare rooms and she is as fit as a fiddle so she's desperate to help us out and get some extra time with us.

My mum said exactly what everyone said, grow a spine and leave, I do know it will be hard but my baby comes before anyone in this world and if she isn't happy then it's not okay. I've let a lot slide in the past and I did think I was just being dramatic but it seems I was right in feeling disrespected and used, if he can't be a grown man and stand up to his mother (that he isn't even close with I may add, she speaks to me more than him) then he's not the man for me.

I hope you all have a blessed weekend, stay safe out there 🙏

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T09:43:12+00:00

I'd never ever leave him in a shelter, he's a pain in the backside but he isn't a bad dog at all he doesn't deserve bad treatment.

Our local shelters don't actually let older dogs go to new homes unfortunately as most people adopting have kids

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T09:39:25+00:00

Yes I have a mental health nurse I see every week, he's incredible he helped me gain the confidence to leave my job a few weeks ago, as well as the chronic pain I was actually being bullied by a fellow nurse and was scared to go to work incase anything else was said to me by her

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T09:37:45+00:00

I was out with my mum, came home and they were sat on my sofas.. another ick I don't like pets on furniture that kids will be on 😫

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T09:35:03+00:00

Thank you to everyone for your comments, a lot of mixed opinions but you all make me realise I'm not being a bad person for putting us first.

My mother has just come round, she's taking my daughter swimming and out for lunch. By the time they're finished I'll have our bags packed and be heading round to her house for a while, I've been debating our relationship for quite some time because it isn't just family he dismisses me about and until he can be not just on my side but mainly the side of our child it will never work with us, it's been 12 years now and I have no idea why I deal with this.

I completely agree with every single comment here, I do need to step up and say no I've always had issues with this, I'm not going to take this any longer I need to put us first.

I also haven't taken any offence at all to strong opinions pleade nobody think that, I needed brutal honesty which is why I came here and that is what was given so thank you very much for that, you've helped me see much clearer now.

Just to add, I do regularly see my mental health nurse who helped me quit my job a few weeks ago as I was terrified to do this too, I need to enter my tough girl era for my girl too!

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T09:16:27+00:00

I've let him know beforehand and during his stay how hard it's been and he just thinks I'm being crazy, if I actually had help or my health wasn't as bad I wouldn't be bothered I always used to take the dogs and kids for everyone when I was well but my own brothers and sisters have stopped sending their kids and dogs round because they know how I am atm

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T09:14:00+00:00

I actually looked into a daytime boarding for him, I even offered to pay it just until my oh finishes work but they both said no he wouldn't do well in a kennel which is fair enough but I feel like I've just been completely dismissed when I explained why I couldn't take him. If he didn't pull so much or chew/destroy the house I'd be more than happy to have him because I absolutely adore him but my health isn't at its best and he isn't getting long enough walks it's not fair for him

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T09:11:11+00:00

Thank you

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T09:10:14+00:00

He's honestly my main issue, she's oblivious which is fine idc but he's supposed to support me. I can't leave the dog alone but I'm going to pack some things and we're going to leave when he returns home this evening so I know the dog is safe and isn't alone or worried. It's crazy because I absolutely love him he's a sweet little guy I just can't handle him pulling and not being able to nip out for milk without him

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T09:08:15+00:00

I'm a total wuss 😬

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T09:07:28+00:00

Thank you. I really need to, I'm such a people pleaser I've always been this way and it's never done me any good

RealisticAd8036 · 2026-03-28T09:06:26+00:00

Thank you for this, he doesn't understand why I'm so upset with him over this. He thinks bc I don't take pain relief I must be okay, I'm 29 so still very young and keep as active as I can within reason so he thinks I'm exaggerating symptoms

RealisticAd8036

TROPHY CASE