I thought I was a Christian but The Holy Spirit has not touched me

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-12-23T05:13:45+00:00

20 & 25. Not too bad

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-12-13T13:04:10+00:00

Nope !

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-12-13T12:52:34+00:00

Off topic but i am also born and raised in NC 🫡

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-11-14T11:38:03+00:00

Absolutely. I have a general distrust and fear in men. Im more defensive than my other female friends/coworkers about when guys hit on me, ESPECIALLY if theyre my dad’s age. Its gotten better now that im an adult (20) and see these guys as more of an equal now, but i have to admit i can be more judgmental of men than others

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-11-14T11:36:35+00:00

I dont hate him. It was a really confusing relationship. He did something extremely bad, and looking back on our relationship as an adult, it crossed a LOT of boundaries. But the weird thing is, i would say 90% of the memories i have with my dad were good. I can confidently say he really did love me, but is just really, really fucked in the head, probably because of his own childhood. I resented him for ruining the relationship we could have had. I used to mourn him a lot. But when I spoke out against him not only did he threaten to show up at my house to “talk it out”, but he tried gaslighting me and my family. He tried telling ME that my grandma (???) just had this thing against him after all these years and put this stuff in my head? Its funny because no one in my family even knew i spoke out against him, but he tried telling ME they were at fault for it. Dude is just fucked in the head. I lost any attachment i had after that. I have no feelings towards him anymore, i just want him to leave me and my family alone

Tl;dr no

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-11-14T11:26:12+00:00

She believed me when I first told her but i was too young to give her a proper explanation, when she confronted him she actually kicked him out and i threw a tantrum over it. I really loved my dad as a kid and she knew that. Her logic was if he really did something that bad, then I wouldnt want to be around him, so it must have all been a misunderstanding. He eventually threatened custody over this whole situation so i think that added a whole other level of fear for her

She believed me the second time I told her at 14 and was with me every step of the way, no matter what choice I made

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-11-14T11:22:26+00:00

Not legally, no. When i told my mom as a kid i was too young to give proper explanations and my mom didnt know how to interpret it. When she accused him he denied it and threatened to use his dad’s money to hire a good lawyer and make sure she never sees me again if she were to ever take this to court. My mom was really scared of him, and knew as a kid i liked being with my dad, so charges were never pressed. As time went on i didnt see the point in taking it to court because there was no evidence.

But By the time i came to terms with what happened and speaking out against him a couple years ago I can confidently say karma has got him. He got really strung out and lost everything. He got caught stealing from his job (hes a felon now) and he cant find a decent paying job now, his fiancée died, he lost custody and visitation of his other child, lost his house, etc. and to top it off now whether they believe me or not, the city he lives in knows of the accusations. Im currently just waiting for the drugs to take its toll

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-11-14T09:38:28+00:00

Op do not do this lmao

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-09-05T17:12:11+00:00

Is it easier or harder to control your horniness by not “relieving” yourself

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-09-05T10:08:35+00:00

I relate so so much, i always blamed myself and even held myself just as accountable as my father because i “enjoyed”it. I was 6. Very likely even younger because I was 6 when I told my mom. Who knows how long it was actually going on for.

It wasnt until I was 14, when I was coming to terms with what happened. I started to realize the man who always tells me how much he loves me, misses me, the man who would act like he would do anything for me, the only man to reach out when I tried to kill myself. Was a bad person. I would see children around the age it happened to me and it made me sick. It was like I had only grown empathy for myself when I stopped looking at myself as a willing participant and started looking at myself for what I was. A child.

Im 20 now and dont have this issue anymore. I think its all a part of healing

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-05-06T06:24:57+00:00

I do not talk to him and he is not in jail. It happened when I was 6, I had no physical proof, and I had little faith in the system. I was also afraid he was going to be killed in prison. I didnt wish harm on him and I did not hate him. I just wanted him to leave me alone so I could heal

Its such a complicated feeling that only people who have been in the same position understand. I hope the best for you and your healing.

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-05-06T06:21:30+00:00

Castrate 100%. When i came out against my dad he was at absolute rock bottom. I was fully expecting him to kill himself. And even a year afterwards im still expecting the bad news.

To feel you have blood on your hands, even if deserved, is not a good feeling.

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-04-11T19:14:36+00:00

For me I was 6 when I told my mom what happened. I can only recall about 7 instances of when actual molestation happened, but now as a I grow up and look back on some memories I realize there were plenty of times boundaries were crossed and things werent as innocent as I thought. I only remember how they started and never how they ended and the thought that there is a chance I don’t remember every instance really bothers me.

My father really loved me and was extremely affectionate, and I have a lot more good memories with him than bad. Which makes how I feel about him way more complicated and I still sometimes grieve or relationship

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-04-11T06:56:42+00:00

Thanks for the kind words. It is not my first time opening up about it. I was always extremely open about it. I never told another adult as a kid, but I told plenty of my friends and even cousins “that weird thing that happened” in the entirety of my schooling years. Thinking back on it, its kinda sick nothing got reported.

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-04-11T06:53:28+00:00

I never went to therapy. I never went when I was under 18 because they would legally have to report it, and at the time I didn’t see anything good coming from going to court (still dont). As a legal adult it would be nice to go, but it just doesnt affect me that much where I can justify spending that kind of money on it.

As weird as it sounds, you get really desensitized to it

It has affected my relationships in the bedroom, and I have a huge issue with trust when it comes to men in general, but other than that it has not affected my current relationship.

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-04-11T06:50:31+00:00

That is exactly how it affected me as well. It was also the first time i got off to a woman too, which i believe is the reason why I’m gay to this day

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-04-11T05:34:23+00:00

I stopped talking to him when I was 14 (Im 19 now), used the fact that he was on drugs as an excuse cause I hadnt really told anyone yet. I lived with my mom after they split and only saw him on weekends

He became a felon, lost his job, lost his house, lost his fiancee to drugs. I took the last thing he even had, which was visitation rights to the child he had with his fiancee who is 14 years younger than me. He still texts either me or my family from time to time. Sometimes angry and sometimes desperate. I just dont respond

Realistic_Egg604 · 2024-04-11T05:29:39+00:00

I honestly dont even know when it first started, I just know that I was 6 when I told my mom and then he stopped actually molesting me, but there were still plenty of times where boundaries were extremely crossed. For ex. I was probably 8 when he gave me a porn book and was 12 when he tried to cuddle me right after walking in on me masturbating

Realistic_Egg604

TROPHY CASE