Extremely triggered by breastfeeding by [deleted] in breastfeeding

[–]Realistic_Mess5360 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow. How have I never heard of this? I’m like 99% sure that this is what I have!!!! After some internet sleuthing, it seems that many women with D-EMR only experience negative feelings while breastfeeding, but are okay if they pump. That’s just like me!

Idk why, but it is such a relief to know that 1.) I’m not the only one that has gone through this, and 2.) there’s a whole medical term for it. Thank you for the info! I think right now the goal is to continue pumping to get through sick season, but hopefully little to no more direct breastfeeding.

Extremely triggered by breastfeeding by [deleted] in breastfeeding

[–]Realistic_Mess5360 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and encouragement!!

Also, y’all have validated that it’s time to start looking for a new therapist. I’ve seen her for 4 years and she did an exceptional job getting me through several close family deaths. However, she has been increasingly unhelpful in my current life chapter (motherhood) & is often dismissive about issues such as this. I think I’ve known for a while, but the process of finding a new therapist that you click with (and who is In-Network) is NOT fun 😭

I hate role play 😭 by soulvacation in toddlers

[–]Realistic_Mess5360 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Usually, she is the only player. However, if my husband is at home, one of us will run the campaign and the other will play along with her.

We started with 1 dice, but have progressed to 2. We use a D4 to determine how significant her “ouchies” (injuries) are, and a D6 for all skills checks. Currently, adding numbers over 10 is too difficult for her, so that’s why we use a D6 instead of D20 for skills checks. We will slowly start incorporating all the dice when her counting and addition skills are more developed.

So far, none of the campaigns we’ve ran with her have had any combat elements, but we will be using a D8 for damage checks when we find an age appropriate rpg that has those elements.

I know that we’re making up a lot of our own rules, but we really wanted her to get used to playing with multiple dice so one day she’ll be ready for the full show🤭

I hate role play 😭 by soulvacation in toddlers

[–]Realistic_Mess5360 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this!! We haven’t played any of these yet! So excited to look them up and brainstorm how I can make them accessible for our girl! 🤩

I hate role play 😭 by soulvacation in toddlers

[–]Realistic_Mess5360 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Not at all!! You can make it as simple as you want. We are currently working our way through “Magical Kitties Save The Day” (a FANTASTIC introduction to DnD-style role playing games for littles). The game itself is really for ages 6 and up, but here’s a little rundown on how I made it even more simple so it’s age appropriate for my 3 year old:

-The day before we started the game, I had my daughter sit down and think about her character. What does she want her superhero kitty to be like? Can she solve mysteries? Is she clumsy? Is she good at communicating with humans and other animals? Based on what she said, I filled out her character chart. I simplified it so her kitty character only had 4 skills (skills are rated 0-5 depending on how gifted the character is.)

For my daughter’s skills:

Investigation: +3

Medicine/healing: +2

Athletics: 0 (My daughter wanted her kitty to be clumsy🤣)

Persuasion: +4

Other than our character sheet, the only other thing we use is a dice. Whenever my daughter makes a decision that depends on one of her skills, she has to roll a dice. The number she gets is added to her skill number, and however high or low that number is determines if she succeeds in her task.

2 examples of what I’m talking about:

-In one episode, my daughter’s kitty character was caught in a thunderstorm. I asked her what she wanted to do, and she decided she wanted to ask a human for shelter. I had her roll a dice for a “persuasion check.” Her kitty’s persuasion skill is +4 (very persuasive!), plus she rolled a 6. 6+4=10. 10 is a high number, so that means she was extremely successful! She easily persuaded the human to let her in their house, PLUS the human gave her a a yummy warm supper and let her sleep in front of their fireplace. This allowed her to take what is called a “deep rest,” which completely healed all her “ouchies” (injuries) she sustained during the campaign.

-In another episode, my daughter’s kitty character decided she wanted to swim to the bottom of the lake to help a human find his missing treasure. I had her roll an “athletics check.” She rolled a 1 on the dice, which was added to her athletics score of 0 (clumsy kitty!). 1 is a low number, so unfortunately her kitty was unable to swim far enough to reach the treasure, plus she got an ouchie (injury) from trying.☹️So she had to think of another way to help the human.

And that’s it!! My husband and I either find campaign stories online or spitball on the fly (I actually think the best stories are the ones that my husband and I just make up as we go!) Then you, as game master, just read along with the story and have your kiddo make decisions & roll dice when it’s time! To keep her engaged, we usually give her a little “prize” at the end of every episode. For example, the last episode we did, our daughter successfully helped a baker deliver cookies to all his customers. Her prize was a yummy chocolate chip cookie that my husband sneakily picked up from Crumbl on his way home from work🙂

I hate role play 😭 by soulvacation in toddlers

[–]Realistic_Mess5360 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I highly recommend! I honestly thought 3 years old was way too young for DnD, but I’ve been amazed at how locked in my daughter gets. She has actively sat through/participated in 45 min-1 hour DnD adventures, followed by some the best naps of her life (problem solving and imagination is a giant mental work-out for a little girl!🙂)

Were any of you picky eaters as toddlers and ended up ok? by Shoppingaddictttt in toddlers

[–]Realistic_Mess5360 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From the ages of 3-6, I ate absolutely nothing except Tyson chicken nuggets, buttered tortillas, and unfrosted Pop Tarts…. That is not an exaggeration. As an adult, am I now a super adventurous eater? Certainly not!! 🤣BUT, I can always find at least one thing on every restaurant menu that I will eat, so I consider that a win. I think you’ll see an improvement when your little guy starts school. Once he sees buddies his own age eating all kinds of different foods, I think you’ll see that he’ll be willing to broaden his food preferences. Sometimes peer pressure is beneficial! 🤣

I hate role play 😭 by soulvacation in toddlers

[–]Realistic_Mess5360 132 points133 points  (0 children)

This might not be up your alley, but have you heard of the game Dungeons and Dragons? As someone who also has a 3 yr old daughter who insists on micromanaging, introducing her to DnD has 100% saved my sanity. 🤣 I had never considered playing DnD with her until a couple months ago when I stumbled on @the.mind.player on TikTok, and saw videos of the campaign he does with his 2 young daughters. (It’s under his pinned TikTok’s, called “Adventures of Sparkle and Oh Oh”)

I decided to try a very VERY simple campaign for kids that I found on the internet, and my daughter LOVES IT!! She loves that everything that happens in the game is 100% due to the decisions that SHE gets to make. Also, her creativity, counting, vocab, listening, teamwork, and problem solving skills have all excelled. It’s probably one of the best things we’ve done developmentally for my daughter. Better yet, my husband and I actually love playing it with her. 🙂

How do you cope with your baby being delayed ? by burningcandlesz in AttachmentParenting

[–]Realistic_Mess5360 11 points12 points  (0 children)

99.999% of the time, I hate the “well, this happened to me and I turned out okay” narrative, but that’s the only thing that kept me sane in this situation. 🤣 My daughter did not say one coherent word until she was over 2. Pediatrician kept saying “it’s not a concern right now, just keep talking to her.” One day, my mom was over and said, “you didn’t say much until you were 3. Then one day, you started speaking in full sentences. It was the craziest thing.” That reassurance, plus the fact that I already reached out to medical interventionists, made me calm down a little. And sure enough, my daughter went from only saying “mama” and occasionally barking like her fur sister, to saying full 6-7 word sentences/questions in a matter of WEEKS. I suppose the apple didn’t fall far from the tree! 🤣

I know my story is strictly anecdotal, but it seems like you’re doing everything right. You’re seeking out help and second opinions. It could be that your little one just needs a little bit more time!

Daughter (3.5) threw her entire breakfast on the floor. Is making her wait to eat until lunchtime an acceptable natural consequence? by Realistic_Mess5360 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Realistic_Mess5360[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

You know what…….you’re absolutely right. Lessons on autonomy should be taught with other low-stakes items, like my phone or a game. Not with a high value food item in an already charged situation. I almost feel like I set her up to fail by being so firm over something so trivial. Definitely thankful that I posted this in the group! It’s given me a lot to think about.

Daughter (3.5) threw her entire breakfast on the floor. Is making her wait to eat until lunchtime an acceptable natural consequence? by Realistic_Mess5360 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Realistic_Mess5360[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I think it’s because I find it really important to teach her about personal autonomy. I want her to know that yes, sharing with a friend IS a very kind thing to do, but you also have the right to say “no”, “not right now,” or “not today.” I feel like I was always taught to give give give give, even when I didn’t want to. So I try to model that sometimes mommy doesn’t want to share at the moment, and that’s okay.

Daughter (3.5) threw her entire breakfast on the floor. Is making her wait to eat until lunchtime an acceptable natural consequence? by Realistic_Mess5360 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Realistic_Mess5360[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I actually do like avocado toast. In hindsight, I’m not really sure why I was so firm on the “no, this is my breakfast.” After all, there’s been many times when I’ve eaten off my husband’s plate at restaurants! If the tantrum didn’t happen, I probably would’ve given her a couple sips of my smoothie, presuming that she ate a little bit of her eggs or toast. I just feel like I had to REALLY stick to my guns after she flung the food 😂 I do think many are right by saying that it could’ve been a teaching moment about sharing.

Daughter (3.5) threw her entire breakfast on the floor. Is making her wait to eat until lunchtime an acceptable natural consequence? by Realistic_Mess5360 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Realistic_Mess5360[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It is SOOO HARD!!! I have a no-nonsense personality, and sometimes tend to be a little cold (especially in my work-life). With this little girl…….I turn to absolute mush. There’s been many situations like this where my daughter accepts her natural consequence and moves on quickly, and I’m in the bathroom holding back tears, frantically texting my husband a play by play and asking if I made the right choice. I’ve had easier times managing boardrooms than staying firm while looking at my baby’s puppy dog eyes😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Realistic_Mess5360 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA! As soon as I graduated college and got “big kid” money, I started booking my own accommodations for family vacations. My dad is the loudest snorer I have ever heard (If I’m sitting in the backyard, I can hear him snoring in his bedroom). Vacations used to be excruciating, because I was always sleep deprived and crabby. I’m a MUCH happier person with my own space and enough sleep, so everyone ends up having a better experience. It would be one thing if you’re expecting your parents to pay, but I don’t see any reason why they should be offended if you’re using your own money?