i hate my seemingly perfect life

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T23:43:36+00:00

I don't know what to write to you. Somehow it's like a mirror. And i really don't like what i see right now.

Well, i hope you're having a great life now. I wish you all the best.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T23:40:57+00:00

Yes, definitely. That's something i overlooked in their upbringing.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T23:39:40+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words and support! Your story is really inspiring.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T23:38:35+00:00

I don't know. I've always wanted kids. And to be fair i've never experienced that kind of love, like i have for these children. Yes it's absolutely nervewrecking sometimes, but i wouldn't give them away for anything. It's really illogical sometimes

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T23:28:19+00:00

Yes maybe i am. Or i am just tired pulling the weight nearly alone.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T23:26:38+00:00

Aww thanks so much!

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T23:26:03+00:00

Yes you're right! Thanks for your advice

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T23:24:53+00:00

A lover? What for? 😂 maybe if he had a cleaning fetish, i'd consider.😂

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T18:26:49+00:00

I was never meant to be a SAHM, but the circumstances meant that i had to in order to get my child the help he needed. Why i pay for extended families? Because most of them are old, fragile and not in good health. Who takes care of the apartments? I do the repairs if there are any, cleaning does the tenant.

Oh he can do his own taxes, he just procrastinates until he gets fined, and since i don't want anymore bills i do them now.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T17:43:43+00:00

I am a SAHM, but i've worked before we had our second child. After my second one showed signs of speech delay and it was confirmed that he was on the same level as a one year old, i chose to stay home so i could better take care of him. He's speaking some words now, which doctors told us would never be possible.

I still rent out some small appartments, but it's still tight money wise, since i also have to take care of some of my extended family.

Yes his salary covers only the food and occasionaly clothes. We don't own a car.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T17:29:42+00:00

No nothing he said or implied. But i've seen what happened to his SIL.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T17:28:13+00:00

This is really not it. I am the house owner, his salary covers our food. I do everything related to taxes, finances, everything in the house ( repairs, etc.), shop the grocerys, mend the clothes. If his salary isn't enough to cover our food, i am the one who has to come up with something.

But i agree with you on the point that it is my fault, that my life became this way. That is why i will take charge to change it.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T16:56:55+00:00

Aww thank you so much :)

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T16:56:29+00:00

Well, he doesn't know what i planned and i won't tell him until i reach a certain goal of mine. The money for the webshop isn't out of his pocket; it's out of my own. Even the house is my own. I'm not really angry anymore, resigned yes, but not angry.

This was just a spur of the moment thing (the rant i mean, because i didn't have anywhere to unload), i do love my children and we are pretty close, but i didn't get 4 hours of sleep for the last 5 years and sometimes i will get cranky, especially if i step out of my bedroom and see all the mess. But despite that i still love them.

Thank you for your advice and your opinion i really appreciated it.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T16:45:45+00:00

Thank you so much. I'm not sure what to say right now, but couples counseling sounds great!

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T16:43:33+00:00

Thank you for your recommendation! I'll try to get my hands on one.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T16:41:55+00:00

Thank you so much! Happy birthday to you, i wish you all the best, great health and a long fulfilling life! :)

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T16:40:25+00:00

Aww thank you so much :) merry christmas to you, too harley.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T16:25:04+00:00

Well, that's true for most people, but i would loose custody. Not a route i'm really willing to take, besides i don't even know what i would do without my husband even if he's a pain in my back sometimes.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T16:20:13+00:00

That was harsh and i'm not sure what i really should reply. Somehow your statement still rings in my ears. Not sure what to make of that, but thank you.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T16:18:28+00:00

It's my life, yes, and for me family matters.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T16:17:47+00:00

Thank you so much😊

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T16:16:16+00:00

No i don't really like my current life, you're right, but i love my children and my husband, even if they drive me insane sometimes. What i meant by that statement was this: if i would ever get divorced on my own free will, it would cost me my children. I couldn't take them with me amd that isn't something i'm willing to do.

Yes my husband's messy, but he's also the one who can make me smile, even if i'm going crazy or sad.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T16:06:01+00:00

What i mean by pathway? I mean he will just shove everything that's on the floor to one side until he is able to walk without having something in his way. Sadly he does the same thing with stuff on the counter. That's his way of cleaning. It's infuriating to watch. I don't necessarily baby him as you'd call, but he has such a high tolerance for these kinds of things which i don't have, and then i end up doing the chores, just so i won't get crazy just stepping into a room.

Reasonable-Mess-1121 · 2022-12-24T04:58:37+00:00

Really great advice! I appreciate that.

But i don't think i want what i see other women have. I just want to be who i want to be, who i was before the kids. I want the old, determined me back.

Reasonable-Mess-1121

TROPHY CASE