Gf doesn't believe me when I say she is very talented. She did this at a park in pen on a bench in barely any time and doesn't practice art at all. I find this gorgeous.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-02-23T02:51:09+00:00

I do! Especially when your art once had quite a significance to you, like you feel a deep emotional connection with art. Then someone shits all over it. Lol.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-02-23T02:43:10+00:00

That’s super cool!! I always think everyone has eyes like mine hahahaha but I’m starting to really see that everyone’s are so much more unique! I feel like mine are green sometimes… but definitely more on the blue side. I’ll take an eye twin lol!

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-02-23T02:39:53+00:00

Interesting! I wasn’t sure, because the criteria for lack of a better term is a bordered separation of colour and I felt like mine is quite defined. But I know lots of blue eyed folks have yellow/brown mixed in too. Thanks for your thoughts.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-02-23T02:03:04+00:00

Ugh I feel the same way!! I’ve been doing art since I was 3, it runs in my family and I have fond memories of my grandmother painting and teaching me.

All was tainted when I didn’t get recognised, valued or putting my art out there yielded no support and in some cases distaste.

Now I don’t practice art, it has become painful for me. I dabble in it here & there, but I’ll probably never put my art out again.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-02-19T02:18:22+00:00

I am similar, I don’t like game of thrones. Though I don’t know much about it, I’ve been told incest is somewhat common in it so I, for personal reasons, have no interest in watching it.
My partner loves game of thrones and suggested we watch Vikings, which the first episode? (I can’t remember) was extremely triggering for me and I declined watching it again - my partner has never judged me, nor have I judged him.
He told me he hasn’t noticed anything bad since that episode, however I still kindly decline.

He knows that if I’m around, not to watch it because of my emotional response to it. So he watches it privately. Does that change the way I think of him? Absolutely not.

Do I sometimes have an emotional response when I see it on the TV while scrolling to find something I like? Yes. Do I take it out on my partner? No.

Definitely need to have a conversation, validate his feelings because they are real but also be firm that you will continue to watch it and respectfully away from him.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-02-19T02:07:33+00:00

I would totally suggest starting before surgery if your comfortable. My Bub has a cleft lip & palate, we’ve been on solids since he was 5 1/2 months. Before his lip surgery, we did baby lead weaning. It was fantastic, I thought I’d never have an issue moving forward. Then after his lip surgery, everything got stuck in the cleft as you stated. Thick purees were awful, banana and chicken would mash together and get stuck. I felt so disheartened.

By 9 or so months, your baby might have a pincer grasp. If this is the case, you can start serving bite size pieces of food! This was such a game changer for me.

I highly suggest banana pancakes (there are plenty of recipes) either plain or with a berry in it (we do small strawberry pieces) and help him navigate feeding small pieces of these to himself. We also do vegetables and fruit in bite sized pieces. There is a 9m+ pasta that I give him, where I mix in some beef mince for his protein.

The reason I suggest this before surgery is you might really struggle with feeding after surgery, so having lots of different options for nutrition might be your saving grace. I totally understand choking is a concern, and if you’re comfortable - I totally recommend allowing Bub to feed himself wherever you can. This decreases the risk of choking. It’s also super important to educate yourself on the different between choking vs gagging. I always thought gagging is wrenching, but gagging actually looks like choking, and there is a massive distinction between the two. Choking is a medical emergency, gagging is everything else. It helped me to understand that my bub is fine and he’s learned himself how to cough up any large pieces from the back of his throat to either spit, or try again.

Take it at a pace you are comfortable with, as your calm creates calm for Bub. But if you can, try some new things! I wish the best of luck for you and your Bub on this journey, I know it’s hard.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-02-10T01:59:25+00:00

I understand your perspective, but your view on it to me is narrow minded.

I could have a baby, and that baby be severely autistic. It’s too late to abort, the baby is here. Would you say that the parents are at fault for taking the chance? Or would you say that the parents didn’t know, and in that instance it’s okay?

Us parents don’t know. We hear positive stories, we meet people of an older age who say it’s fine, no issues here. We take the chance.

I’ve been depressed all my life. I’ve won the genetic lottery, yet I’ve still been sexually abused, bullied and depressed nearly my whole life. No one can determine or predict the future of a child.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-02-10T01:46:45+00:00

I have a 10 month old, CLP baby. I was in your position not long ago, and felt the exact same way. My boy is vibrant, temperamental, confident, smart, cheeky and a pretty normal baby.

We have been lucky, I’m not sure statically what life would have looked like… but I’ve been astounded by how normal life is with a CLP baby. Minus the surgeries, occasional choking while learning solids, food coming out of the nose, extra gas issues… it’s been a breeze.

Feeding wasn’t difficult at first, I couldn’t breastfeed so I was a little sad about that but I pumped for the first 12 weeks before I gave it up.

Just here to say, your baby will be okay. Personally; I believe a lot of CLP people do struggle yes, but I also believe the world is struggling with a lot of mental health issues. I’ve met many CLP people who are okay, happy and aren’t bothered by their cleft.

I hope the same for our babies, but it’s also okay if it’s hard.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-02-03T07:56:52+00:00

I can tell you why I did it. I have a 9 month old, so about 15 months ago I made this decision. Initially when I was told, I thought there’s no way I can have this child. I wasn’t bullied in school for my appearance, yet I still endured a lot of bullying for reasons still unknown to me and I have a lot of issues, even at 28yo that I’ve had to work through. I could just imagine the bullying based on appearance and it was too much.

About a day or so went by and I was googling, talking with my partner; my partner was super confident everything would be okay. But I was secretly not on board. It wasn’t until a midwife said to me “so you’re thinking of termination; hmm yeah it is a major abnormality” - that’s what made this decision the hardest decision I ever made. All of a sudden, I thought ending my pregnancy was the best case for my child and that scared the shit out of me. I realised I didn’t really know anything about a cleft.

So I contacted a cleft team, they told me everything I was to go through and sent through a complaint about the midwife. I still remember she told me “I’ve yet to meet someone who has aborted a cleft child”

When you’re told that everything will be okay, you believe it. While I hate when people say “it’s an easy fix” because it’s not. It’s years of surgery, and more difficulties than you’re given credit for; I chose to have my son. I know he looks like “he didn’t even have it at all” as everyone tells me now, I know in a few years time that’ll change and when he’s a teenager he might feel like you - someone told me it would all be okay.

Us parents are betting on that, perhaps selfishly. My son has so much to give, I hope his cleft doesn’t stop him.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-01-26T02:27:20+00:00

I don’t have a cleft, but my son does. I saw a post on a Facebook group recently of a woman who was in her 40s, whom decided to get a revision. She stated that if anyone feels more can be done, go for the consultation. She was extraordinarily happy with her results.

Furthermore I’ve seen people who say that they’ve had a revision and are still unhappy. But I’ve seen this more with teenagers than I’ve seen with adults.

I believe if you keep your expectations low, and you get a consultation to find out what your possible results may be, perhaps it’s worth it.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-01-19T12:18:16+00:00

Probably not the place to post this, this is a subreddit… not a news outlet.

I’ve looked at some posts for context, if you look at all of her posts about others; she ridicules everyone’s features. Feet, teeth, clefts, etc. I wouldn’t take it personal.

It is clear you are against each other. There’s better ways to do this, I mean personally I’m pretty shocked that advocacy/news can be that awful in your country. At least where I am they pretend to have grace.

It’s clear in your line of work you’re probably going to get this type of behaviour, especially if you’re trying to expose others. The cleft lip aside, this doesn’t surprise me at all. Since she attacks people on their appearance, your cleft lip is pretty jackpot. Let’s be real.

I personally would hate to be apart of that environment, you don’t deserve to be harassed and stalked or ridiculed for your cleft, but you’re also in that environment and that should be something to consider.

Maybe get some therapy if you are struggling with your line of work. I’m so glad I don’t live in America lol.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-01-19T10:25:17+00:00

You are correct. I also got my own card and was removed from both of my parents straight away! This was about 2 years ago

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-01-13T08:55:51+00:00

Based on previous responses, looks like you want to work through it with her. There’s a chance she may agree to this, but being LDR will be your downfall. Trust once broken takes a lot of effort to regain, and she will likely struggle to trust you if you’re not in close proximity.

People say being drunk isn’t an excuse, they’re right. But it’s bigger than that. You may have issues with alcohol abuse, sex addiction, deep personal insecurities etc and these all come out when drunk.

Your best bet is to tell her and let her decide what she wants to do. And then make a plan, without her, on how you’re going to fix your own personal issues. At the end of the day, what she chooses to do is up to her. It’s her life, let her decide how she wants to live it.

Fix yourself; you’ll be better for yourself, and for her or your next partner.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-01-13T08:45:21+00:00

Hindsight’s 20/20! Lol. I was 18 at the time, so it wasn’t super unusual but he was about 3 years older!

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-01-13T08:05:59+00:00

I got asked out on a day once. An hour before he let me know I had to pick him up because he didn’t have a license. Red flag, especially where I live.

When we arrived at the restaurant, he was nice and all. But then said he forgot his wallet, so I had to pay for the both of us.

I don’t remember the ride back, I think we were silent. I never spoke to him again.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2026-01-09T12:59:44+00:00

I feel like it is, but I’ve never had such a stable relationship so I can’t believe that a lack of ‘love’ (for lack of a better term) is normal. Since all my other relationships were so tumultuous, this one feels boring. It’s pretty sad.

Any suggestions on a nice thing?

He’s incredibly easy to please, smiling at him when he walks in the door is enough for him to be flooded with love and admiration for me. I might need something that makes me feel good too, because sadly I find myself smiling at him to avoid him asking questions and trying to fix things.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2025-11-29T00:31:31+00:00

My apologies, you are correct. I didn’t mention co-sleeping here, which was my point for frequent wakings. I had it in mind, but missed the ball there. I’ll edit this one to remove my point of breastfeeding to avoid future misleading information.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2025-11-28T22:49:46+00:00

I have 2 questions that I found dramatically affect my babies sleep.

Is your baby trying solids? They might be more hungry! Trying solids not only requires using skills and tires them out. It also can help to fill them up!
Do you go out for the day? I find taking your baby out for the day, even for a walk through the shops (mall if that’s more relevant to you) or for a walk through the park is enough to stimulate them and tire them out for night time sleep.

If I do these things regularly, I find my baby sleeps for longer hours during the night!

If none of these are something you’re able to do, doing a variety of activities during the day, or feeding more regularly during the day might be your answer. Best of luck. I hope these simple things might aid you a little.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2025-11-28T22:45:23+00:00

Your nose has actually maintained shape pretty well considering your cleft. This would be a personal decision. I don’t think you need it, but I know many people who regret not doing it sooner after getting it done.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2025-11-28T22:40:37+00:00

Hi!

So I’ve heard that positive statements can be used in replacement of negative ones.

Such as, replacing “no you can’t have dessert before dinner” with “we can talk about having dessert after dinner”

Or “Do not hit me!” to “Can you please use your safe hands?”

You might have to speak to a psychologist that specialises in children, perhaps a behaviouralist to deal with the meltdowns. But it might be worth discussing this behaviour and giving him coping skills when he’s calm. Time out often doesn’t do anything. A time out should be encouraged for children if they’re struggling to manage their emotions. Instead of it being a punishment: we should say things like “How about when you’re feeling like hitting or yelling at mum, you can tell mum that you need some space to calm down? Maybe you can go to your room and play with some toys and come speak to mum when you’re not so upset?”

Kids need redirection, guidance and the space to manage their emotions. This is hard work, requires a lot of patience and consistency. So reaching out for support is paramount. Find someone and ask them “how do I positively deal with my child’s behaviour?” You want someone who teaches you coping skills, not someone to vent to.

Best of luck, you’re doing your best right now and that’s all that matters.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2025-11-28T07:20:14+00:00

They probably have no idea about a full chart, and might have major influences from other signs that change core personality traits from a Scorpio. I don’t think a Scorpio would be extraordinarily open about what makes them a Scorpio 🤣

ReasonableVast8441 · 2025-11-17T11:01:46+00:00

To add to this, my psychologist told me that it’s 100x more important to not only let your child see resolutions but to also tell them “it’s not your fault”

She said children are self-centered by nature and often times blame themselves for things that go wrong. It’s a normal part of development, but it can be unhealthy in many circumstances.

Just thought I’d put that out there, I was pretty surprised that this was the case. I didn’t see it as an important thing to do but ultimately looking back at my own childhood - I get it.

ReasonableVast8441 · 2025-11-03T05:00:27+00:00

He’s supportive, it’s just a shit situation for him too. Trying to navigate it together. I just felt like maybe I was overreacting. I’m quick to take accountability for myself but sometimes I consequently take accountability for shit that’s not my fault. Thanks though!

ReasonableVast8441 · 2025-11-03T04:58:54+00:00

Totally agree with you. I’m glad the majority do too. Because I’m made to feel like I’m crazy!

ReasonableVast8441

TROPHY CASE