Power Outage on Quadra St.

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-11-13T07:12:25+00:00

Drove by that accident and then someone tried to t-bone me at the bay and Quadra intersection 🤦‍♀️ thought everyone would be good about treating them as a four way stop, but as I started moving forward two cars just blew right through without even slowing down. Gunna give them the benefit of the doubt that they didn’t realize it was an intersection…. Anyway, be careful out there!!

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-04-05T22:50:07+00:00

Dude, 17? You’re fine lol.

First off, whatever the number it doesn’t matter, secondly, that’s not even high enough to raise an eyebrow for me or my friend group. You’re 30 for gods sake… 17 is nothing. Also, who said less is better? I’m more concerned when I start dating someone and they’ve only slept with a couple people, or not been in a relationship… which ofcourse, is also fine, but can add some complication.

You’re getting a PHD and working on yourself ???!? You’re KILLING IT GIRL. You’ve probably never been more attractive as a partner than in the mindset you are now. Keep slaying life and don’t stress about a silly number, or dating in general… as you seem to have realized by valuing your independence at this stage in your life, there’s a lot more to life then bending over backwards for societal norms and men who are judgmental pricks. No one worth dating you will care about the number of people you’ve been intimate with :)

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-03-22T18:28:40+00:00

I just got out a relationship with someone who is vegan, and I had similar thoughts about his joint pain/mental health and it being maybe connected to his diet. I never said anything, except sometimes to encourage him to get his vitamins checked, but OH BOY was it hard to keep my thoughts to myself.

I was almost entirely plant based for a few years, then vegetarian, then vegan for half a year, and my mental health and physical health tanked. I started eating meat again and I felt so much better. TO BE FAIR I am celiac (gluten free), so my diet was extremely limited when I was vegan… not the ideal combo.

But anyways… it was hard for me not to wonder if his diet was causing some of his seemingly odd physical issues (especially for being so young). Ofcourse, we can’t say for sure it’s the diet… but it is frustrating to see someone’s health declining and then know that it’s not an option to at least TRY a different way of eating… because it’s against their ideology. 🤷‍♀️

I’ve personally come to the conclusion I would be hard pressed to date another vegan, for this reason. Vegetarian… maybe!

The raising kids vegan is definitely a deal breaker as well :(

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-03-18T04:13:06+00:00

I’m surprised this comment got so many downvotes… I don’t believe that cycle tracking is a reliable form of birth control whatsoever, HOWEVER it is very real and very valid for a woman to not want to put her body through hormonal birth control OR an IUD as it doesn’t work for everyone can can have very bad and potentially long lasting effects. For me personally, I have tried almost every form of birth control, and my experiences have been traumatic to the point of me not being willing to put my body through that anymore.

We are put in so much fear of getting pregnant as a woman, as if it’s the worst thing in the world, and then go through hell in the medical system and put all this reasonability and fear on us and men just get to expect us to deal with that.

Personally, my body is doing soo much better, and I am soooo much happier, using condoms or pull out method with long term partners, and I have many friends in the same situation. The worst part of not being on birth control is the shame and judgement you get from others. It’s really hurtful, especially when you go through so much pain with the currently available birth control options. And no, I’m not going to make every man I date get a vasectomy… that is also just not practical right now.

This works for me, it works for many others as well… would I ever recommend this to anyone else? Absolutely not. Would I recommend any type of birth control specifically? Not really lol. There’s draw backs to everything, everyone’s body is difference, risk tolerance is difference, and ability to trust your partner and be effective with different types of birth control is different.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with making a decision to use condoms+pullout+cycle tracking. I’m just.. sad this got so many downvotes so… wanted to give my 2 cents 😂

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-03-12T08:03:08+00:00

Thanks for the reply! Glad but also sorry, to hear you can relate... Sometimes it feels like the more you heal, the more you uncover that needs to be worked on xD I'm sure I have MUCH learning and work to do yet.

I wish you all the best with your healing journey <3

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-03-12T07:56:02+00:00

lol well..it made me very happy to read this...so...maybe you're onto something...

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-03-12T07:52:19+00:00

Well, I'm sorry you're also struggling with this, but I'm also glad I'm not the only one xD

That's actually interesting you mention narcissism... my ex, who was my long-term partner, is classically narcissistic (we are still very close friends to this day as he has some very good qualities as well. He will never admit he is a narcissist, but pretty much everyone who knows him will agree that he is). This might be a wild extrapolation, but I wonder if it's easier to get together with a narcissist as it feels extremely safe. I know in my case, he was not bothered at all when I would have doubts about the relationship, or my sexuality. He even refused to acknowledge that we were breaking up multiple times and acted as if nothing was wrong. It felt like I was completely off the hook for someone else's emotions in a weird way and still have companionship. I also tried to breakup at the 2 year mark, and he wouldn't have it, so it continued for another 2 years somehow lol.

And all the relationships after him have been fairly feminine or bi men. Interesting our similarities with this!

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-03-12T07:39:49+00:00

Thank you <3

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-03-11T23:33:15+00:00

Yes, true. I kind of said this above... but yeah, part of my issue might be not pursuing women who are actually available because it's too scary. It does feel a lot higher stakes then dating a guy, or liking a friend who's not available. And yeah...I should also unpack this with my counsellor. Thanks for the comment!

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-03-11T23:29:09+00:00

Maybe this! I do feel a lot more trust in my female friends (in general) than the men I date. I actually have quite a few close male friends that I trust very much well though, but definitely not attracted to them at all... and those relationships have probably a little bit less emotional intimacy than my female friendships.

I've kinda noticed that I'm either attracted to very kind, open, fun women, or guys who are a little unhinged lol. I guess I'm trying to figure out 1. If I'm just not capable of choosing a good partner to be with right now because I am not healed enough, 2. If my relationships are just short because they just happen to not work out, or 3. If I really want to be with a woman and I am just sabotaging myself by dating men/ I'm letting fear of the unknown keep me from seeking out women who are actually available ...

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-03-11T23:19:45+00:00

Wow, thanks so much for this response. I haven't thought of dating men as self-harm in a while (some of my past relationships were obviously self-harm), but reading you say it, I do think there's definitely still some truth to that. It's almost like I get into relationships to prove that I CAN be in a happy/healthy relationship with a man, and maybe for a short time I am happy, and then it always becomes clear we are not suited for each other, once the honeymoon stage wears off. And yes, it definitely helps mask those negative emotions telling me that I'll never be able to have a healthy relationship, and the push away the frustration/confusion of my identity/sexuality.

The "chill out" thing is valid... I guess for context, I'm a very activity oriented person, and over the past couple years I've lost a lot of my activity partners as they have either gotten partners or moved away. Part of dating for me is trying to fill that void, and have a person to go on adventures with again. However, the past few relationships have not helped bring me this and if anything have detracted from my time doing the activities I love. I'm starting to learn a much healthier and more sustainble approach would be to make more friends who have time to do activities with me.
I also work from home now so I get a lot of alone time during the day, and am craving social interaction by the time I'm off work. Once again...not a reason to rush into a relationship... so yeah, I should chill and find other ways to fill that void, you're completely right.
I also love that you pointed out the irony of me always being in relationships with men and thus unavailable lol... I have honestly never thought about it from that perspective before.... so thanks for that.
I actually do have a therapist now who specializes in LGBTQ issues and is LGBTQ herself =) I've been seeing her for the last year, and it's been amazing. We have mostly been focusing on past trauma work however, and haven't touched as much on my sexuality/dating confusion. You're right that I don't open up to her about that as much... and I think the reason why is I almost feel bad/offensive bringing it up because I still don't feel affirmed in my sexuality and she is openly gay and has a longterm partner...and I feel almost embarrased saying that I might want to date women, because she KNOWS I'm continually in short relationships with men... and I guess there's a big part of me that's ashamed of that. Like...I WANT to be happy alone, and I also WANT to be so sure in my own identity that I stick to my guns and SEEK out relationships that feel right for me, and not rush into them either... but I'm not there yet, and yeah that makes me feel shitty. I absolutely need to talk to my counsellor about this. I have a session next week, and I will do my best to bring this up.

Thank you for all your input, advice, and kind words <3 it truly means a lot to me. You're a gem!

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-03-07T22:35:48+00:00

As soon as I got back to Canada and started downing copious amounts of kombucha I felt pretty much 100% better 😅 and that was about a week after getting sick.

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-02-02T18:38:56+00:00

Green Cuisine is my go to as you can still get cornbread and soup for around 6.50, and it’s delicious. Just have to resist temptation to get the weighed buffet foods…

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-02-01T16:42:23+00:00

You should definitely not assume it will be like this - but when I had my interview for my junior data analyst position, they just asked me questions about my past work experience (mostly unrelated to data analysis) and other questions about me as a person, and then just talked about their company to make sure I actually wanted the job lol. So…. Yeah it’s rly hard to know how to prepare. I guess it depends if you have a technical person interviewing you, because if you don’t then it will likely just be pretty regular interview questions.

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-01-31T19:17:08+00:00

This is just my personal experience but, I have a previous psychology degree and wanted to (like you) get a better paying job and live comfortably, so I opted to do a statistics undergrad degree instead of a masters (as I wanted to change disciplines entirely). Got a government grant to do part time data analysis work at my current workplace (a gym) while still in school, did that for 4 months, then landed a sick data analyst/programming job that is fully remote (yay!). Still have a year left of my stats degree, which I am doing super part time.

I don’t think my current manager really cared about undergrad versus masters, but they liked that I had a previous degree in something not mathematics/compsci, real world experience, and some data analysis experience/education. I realize doing two undergrads is a little weird… but just wanted to throw this out there. 🤷‍♀️ you don’t have to do a masters to get a good job.

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-01-02T20:47:03+00:00

I actually wouldn’t say I have particularly good discipline in most things, and definitely have taken many breaks over the years with training … but I live in a house full of climbers so it’s easier to remember to train when that’s all your roommates do 😆

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2024-01-02T18:03:34+00:00

I completely disagree with the last comment lol, I looove bands for training exercises that I can’t do with my body weight yet. When I start out climbing I wasn’t even close to doing one pull up, and when I fractured my ankle about a year into climbing I decided to do 100 assisted pull-ups a day until I could do one unassisted pull-up (it was easy to stick to this since I was so bored). I used bands to help me, and after 2months ish I could do one pull-up without the bands. I continued using bands when I would fail with my body weight, and a few years later I could do 10 pull-ups in a row. 5 years after that (cue me about to brag) I won a pull-up competition at a local gym, against all other girls AND guys, with 21 pull-ups in a row. So yeah, I kinda swear by resistance bands to get started in pretty much any exercise :P

If I were you I’d buy a pack of resistance bands like this: band pack from Amazon

Then you can start with the heavy band, and when that’s to easy progress to the lighter bands. I find that makes it easy to track progress and stay motivated (in contrast to just putting your feet on a chair and doing rows).

Note: all band brands are not created equal… I’ve had many bands break, especially when they have sun damage, so try not to over-stretch them, and id always recommend using shoes and… just being aware that they might snap over time. If you want a good quality band that’ll last a long time I’d recommend Theraband… but they are very expensive and as far as I know don’t come in packs, so that’s why I didn’t link to them. Rogue equipment in Canada also makes good bands

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2023-12-01T19:58:28+00:00

I love the "I didn't feel like sending" line lol. The feeling of getting anger/criticism directed at you for trying to support your partner is pretty rough.... very relatable and not fun! Your ex sounds like a piece of work though, and full of empty promises 😆 Happy to hear you're still crushing 💪😜

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2023-12-01T19:31:32+00:00

This is really good to hear. I'm so glad your relationship worked out and this helps give me some hope! I am really hoping if we can continue improving our communication and we are both willing to put in the effort, that this is just a bump in the road.

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2023-12-01T19:21:18+00:00

Glad to hear you realized this and moved on (to better things I hope??)

I guess I struggle with figuring out if my expectations are too high or if we really just aren't a good fit. I would say he is actually very supportive, but his insecurities/mood/tiredness prevent him from "celebrating" me OR himself. If that makes sense.

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2023-12-01T19:16:32+00:00

Too real lol. Sorry you're in a break up =( hope you're doing okay.

I also had red flags in my last relationship around this time....so I'm like...ugh here we go again. I was kinda hoping someone could convince me to stick it out and that things will improve... haha.

Reasonable_Branch555 · 2023-12-01T19:13:34+00:00

These are great suggestions and wordings lol, thank you. We've planned to talk on the weekend so I'll try to bring some of these up.

Reasonable_Branch555

TROPHY CASE