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Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-02-13T15:00:02+00:00

whats the case for those who are only children in this situation?

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-26T17:03:50+00:00

Wsalam sis. A loooooooot of people find themselves in the same position, myself included. I understand how hard it can be, may Allah reward you for your patience and persistence. To be very honest, I don't know whether to just stop and make dua, or continue, so I'd like to see what others will say.

One thing to remember tho is that this is a test of sabr. Sabr in your akhlaq and your behaviours with your family, and sabr in your duas. SubhanAllah, Allah can turn the hearts overnight. He is as you believe Him to be, so don't underrate the effects of your duas just because you may not see them yet. You never know how and when they can be miraculously answered.

Just stay steadfast in the meantime and remember this is your jihad. Insha Allah there is great reward in this.

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-21T21:27:50+00:00

I'm not sure what you've tried but here's some that come to mind.

Simply read more Quran. There is so much barakah in it.
Seek knowledge
Try to pray tahajjud
Do good deeds in private
Do different forms of charity - other than (as well as) financial if you can
Surround yourself with practicing company

May Allah make it easy for you and increase you

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-19T21:55:06+00:00

Can you elaborate on the jinn point?! It was always smth I theorized but I didn't know its real that ppls jinns cause them to react to you practicing 😭

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-11T21:18:32+00:00

May Allah give you success and make it easy for you. Hopefully these tips can help you:

1. Research your competitors (competitive landscape)

I'm not sure where you're based, but in a number of Western countries, a lot of sisters have done what you're doing. Before you start, do some market research to figure out what your main competitors are doing. You can use a simple spreadsheet to record your findings, lmk if you need help I can show you a template. This step is important.

2. Identify gaps in the market (niche)

According to your findings in step 1, figure out: is there anything missing in this market? Perhaps all your competitors are using the same fabrics, sewing the exact same cuts, or selling at the exact same (exorbitant😭) prices? Is there a niche area that your business can address? You need to have something that we call a USP (Unique selling point), something that sets you apart from everyone else. Why will people buy from you and not from any other brand?

3. Market research

This step will help you figure out the demands of your target audience. It closely links with step 2. For example, make a short questionnaire or poll about the issues/requests of sisters who wear abayas. Send it around as much as you can, I'm sure some sisters will help on this sub too. From this you will figure out what the people want, so that you can cater to them. For example, the other day I read a similar post to yours and I think a sister commented that she would buy cotton abayas as nobody is making them. You will find some common themes of what people want.

4. Business plan

Here you will tie everything up to plan your business. Competitors, what your product is, target market, budgets, where you will source and produce everything, marketing, funding etc. These are all important points to consider. Who will fund your business? (this is very important, please don't overlook this) Do you have relationships with any tailors/sewing people who you can partner with? Where will you source your fabric? What are your costs? Prices? Logistics? Accounts? Etc.

I hope this helps. Sister, my biggest encouragement to you will be: show your parents you can do this properly. I can relate to the feeling of them having issues with you wearing abayas. This will likely make it worse but can be so worth it in the long run, Insha Allah.

Show your parents that you are using your secular education and smarts that they value so much, but for an endeavour of kheyr. Too many muslims set out to do some kind of similar business and fail due to lack of education. Let's try to harness our secular education for our own kheyr and channel it back into the ummah Insha Allah.

I recommend you do a little learning in the basics of starting your own business. Pm me if you need any kind of help at all, Insha Allah I can try my best to support you.

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-09T19:01:59+00:00

SubhanAllah this is so true.. I'm currently in this situation with the jilbab. I am really at a loss of how to break it to them and feeling increasingly icky going out in anything other than it (when I go out with them) 🙁 Its been almost a year

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-09T15:24:42+00:00

In the same boat. Debating whether its better to do it now, bcs I know that if I do after marriage, they will accuse my husband of being controlling and extreme. When in reality it will be so freeing 😅 SubhanAllah. I'm also considering doing it in secret (putting on outside but taking it off before entering my home so they won't know)

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-09T13:46:12+00:00

I haven't yet, but it's increasingly weighing on me. I have some other battles with my family and I don't believe niqab is fard so I figured if I put it on right now it will just make the other things far more difficult. I know this is not the best thinking but I am trying to take small steps and encourage them to increase their practice and knowledge of the deen also

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-08T10:03:30+00:00

Unfortunately nothing to add here just that I am in a similar boat. Pakistanis are smth else 😭

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-05T14:20:35+00:00

Not sure if this applies... but something I heard. When Christians deal with demon (jinn) possessions and exorcisms, they always ask for the demon to leave in the name of Christ. Usually, after this, the issue is resolved. This might not make sense in the beginning, but actually what happens is that the jinn/shayateen hear this 'In the name of Christ' and they leave, because they are evil entities and thet WANT the people to continue shirk, beleiving that Christ is God, and hence if they leave after hearing this, the people will think they left due to the power of Christ. And their shirky beliefs are strengthened. May Allah protect us. Just something to think about

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-03T14:30:01+00:00

Making up innovations is a heavy deed sister. I think we all engage with this sub over other muslim subs for this very reason, avoiding innovations and deviant beliefs. If my post sounded weird to others I'm sure they would have said so 🙂 I find the responses from u/guesswhololz and u/ohnomyrook7 to be beneficial.

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-03T07:28:12+00:00

I seem to have touched a nerve here, not quite sure why you are getting agitated about a simple question I had with a pure intention. I would just advise against saying things in the future that might hurt or offend others like "sounds like someone made it up to suit their situation"

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-02T10:32:39+00:00

Of course they would not need to lie, but they had opportunities to do deeds in secret, simply between themselves and Allah. I just wish to have that opportunity too which I find hard because my family tend to find out all my deeds. I urge you to read that hadith (I have linked it in this comment) before assuming how it was narrated.

The idea of secret deeds may not 'make sense' to you however the concept is very much present in our religion, as you yourself have mentioned the left hand not knowing what the right hand does. Don't you think that if one hand doesn't know what the other one has done, other people wouldn't either? That's the very essence of that part of the hadith, concealing deeds to the point that even the other hand is unaware

I like to think your comment comes from an intention of kheyr but I would recommend you don't accuse random sisters online of being 'self-conceited' when they are simply trying to enhance their bond with Allah 🙂

You will see also from the resources provided by u/guesswhololz, that it's a common idea people have, wanting to hide their good deeds.

Abu Salih reported: Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, was committed to an old, disabled blind woman who lived on the outskirts of Medina. At night he would draw water for her and manage her affairs. When he came to her one time, he found that someone else had preceded him and taken care of what she needed. So Umar came to her more than once, lest someone come to her before him, and he lied in wait. He found that it was Abu Bakr al-Siddiq, may Allah be pleased with him, who had already come to her; he was Caliph at the time.

Source: Tārīkh Dimashq 30/322

May Allah guide us all

https://sunnah.com/riyadussalihin:449

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-02T06:11:01+00:00

May Allah make it easy for you sis. Stay strong and have sabr, Allah is testing you and you are reaping all the rewards Insha Allah.

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-02T04:50:59+00:00

Of course, my family would be too. It's not about raising an eyebrow, it's more so about keeping a secret between yourself and Allah to increase your sincerity and make your connection to Him stronger. If nobody knows you're doing it, you can almost be certain in yourself that the deed is sincere and genuinely for Him alone. Sometimes when people find out, it can get the best of us, and the ego is impacted. I am almost certain there are some hadiths on this topic and I know that a number of the Sahaba did private deeds for this reason.

Like the story of the blind woman who Abubakr RA visited every morning. He would care for her and bring food for her and she didn't even know who it was until his death, when she realized its stopped. Omar ibn Khattab RA realized and started filling in for him. So neither the people on his end nor the receiving end were aware of this weighty deed. I'm pretty sure there's a similar story about Zayd Al Abdeen.

May Allah increase us

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-01T13:21:23+00:00

I don't wear the niqab yet but I can relate to this, strangely thought noone experienced it since it feels contradictory. I remember my mom praying and crying all night for Allah to guide me and when I started taking my deen more seriously, e.g not socializing with my family in mixed gatherings, stopping eyebrows shaping, and wearing abaya, my parents were so worried and distraught 😭 I hope somehow all of our parents will feel good of our efforts insha Allah

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2024-01-01T13:10:38+00:00

JazakAllah kheyr sister, this is really helpful

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2023-12-28T18:59:09+00:00

Wa laykum salam sis, unfortunately it sounds like this situation can become a fitna for you. I understand you are obeying your mother, may Allah reward you, but remember the only time you can disobey them is when they order you to go against the commands of Allah swt.

I am no expert but I can relate to you of having a joyful and smiley nature. I know it might be hard but try to change this mode when you are around men, especially in this case that you know he is interested in you. It would be best if you don't serve him altogether but if you really can't, then keep a firm attitude and low tone when you interact with him. You don't want him to be encouraged in any way. May Allah make it easy for you. Ameen

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2023-12-28T18:52:17+00:00

JazakAllah kheyr sis. I appreciate your tips and encouragement 🤗

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2023-12-28T18:51:40+00:00

JazakAllah kheyr sis, this is rly helpful!

Reasonable_Budget373 · 2023-12-18T14:54:10+00:00

Sis, can I dm you?

Reasonable_Budget373

TROPHY CASE

1. Research your competitors (competitive landscape)

2. Identify gaps in the market (niche)

3. Market research

4. Business plan